Searching for Hormonal Bliss

For more years that I care to mention, I have been taking chemicals to regulate and to prevent an unplanned pregnancy. Most of you would refer to these chemicals as "the pill", "birth control", or "necessity". I am currently calling it "I don't wanna take it but I fear of what will happen if I don't".

My doctor and I have been searching for the right one for the last few years. My changing physical and mental body have been making the search difficult to say the least. This last try has proven to be the worst of all. It has driven my emotional being crazy, and my physical self mad. Thank you to all of my friends who have listened to the details and the crying and have talked me through the last few months... oh hell, the last 5 years.

Eric and I have discussed and I am now off the pill.

Come on body! Remember what you are ment to do. You can do it!

Wish us luck.
(no, not baby luck, just surviving the hormonal craziness that may get better or worse).

Is that my man?

On Sunday our friends, A & A, invited us along with another couple to their friends' house to hang out and brew up some beer. A & A have this knack of meeting people at random events and locations and becoming great friends. This really amazes me, because I tend to only meet friends through other friends or work.

This new couple that we met, let's call them "Soon-to-Be Mr & Mrs Brew", are very into making homemade beer so they are making a special beer for their wedding favors. How cool are they! They put a lot of thought into the brew, making a complex, fruity, deep, rich, flavorful medium bodied dessert porter to be sipped. A lot of meaning and love was put into the creation of the recipe and the brew itself. Think chocolate, vanilla & cherry, with enough hops to cut the sweetness. We tried some of the test batch and it was really amazing.

So Mr & Mrs Brew are also really into music. They have a recoding studio set up with a drum set, keyboard, multiple guitars, a bass and everything is all mic'd up for recording. Eric's eyes lit up when we were touring their house. After the brew had started its brewin', all the musicians in the house started jammin'. I was outside and just heard them playing, having no idea who was doing what. When someone said to me, "Eric is great!". I responded with, "That's Eric? My Eric?"

After almost 6 years together, I had never heard him really play. He moved to CA with his acoustic, which he's played a little from time to time, but usually just trying to remember a song from college, never really playing all out. The acoustic has been in the closet for the last 2 years at least. He just bought an electric last week so he could jam with Ted, but when he's at home he never has the amp turned on without headphones, so I just hear the "ping ping ping" of the unamplified strings.

Although incredibly proud hearing his talent and having people be so impressed by him, I was also left with a feeling of, who is that guy? Do I know him? What else about him do I not know after these few years together?

I knew a few weeks ago when we first went into a Guitar Center together, that this was a part of his world that I was not going to be apart of, and it was uncomfortable. I know its healthy to have our own lives, and I certainly have mine but I have lived here all of my life. I have my friends, and my hobbies, and my work. Whereas, he moved here with only a small part of his world, most of his friends are my friends too, and I've been with him has he has grown his knowledge and love for his landscaping business. This guitar, rock band, thing? Totally foreign to me. He has been encouraging me to pick something up to be able to "jam" too so we can do it together, but it just feels like he needs to have something just for him.

I completely encouraged the buying of the guitar. I want him to have something in his life that is not related to work and will get him out of the house to hang out with friends without me. He is never able to stop working, because he is always thinking about plants and design, and invoicing, and money. He needs friends. He needs hobbies. He needs a life outside of me.

Argh, I hate when my head knows stuff, but my heart is so not listening.

Monday Blues

The joys of summer allergies! Or possibly some virus.

I came into the office WAY late today. I just couldn't get up when that alarm went off at 5am. Reset it for 6am. And then appartently turned it off. Around 9am I got up to email my boss that I'd be in late. (I usually am in by 7am).

Turns out half of my team or at least their SigOthers are feeling this exhaustion, not quite sick, but sneezing, feeling puffy, blowing the nose all the time thing. WEeeee!

Eventually I'll get out at least some pics of the weekend. Friends, Food, Fruit and Beer!

Weekend free of work

Today is so totally Friday!

Last week we were given a 5 day notice that we are expected to work on most Saturdays for the next couple of months, unless of course we have prior obligations that we can't get out of (or are about to drop from exhaustion and burn out). Before I was hired I already had plans for this weekend, and next weekend the team is scheduled a recovery weekend. So I have 2 full weekends coming up. The pressure is on, so I've been staying at work until about 8pm everyday except the night of my final. So this weekend feels like an extended holiday to me.

This has been one of those weeks where every morning I swear it must be the weekend by now, or at least Friday, hell I'd even take a Thursday. This is what happens when I have to work just one extra day. I'm so spoiled now. You'd never know I used to work 3 jobs and go to school at the same time. Good thing I only have to work on the weekends until November!

I'll try to not bitch too much over the next few months. I'll try really hard.

Dot, stop rolling your eyes! I mean it!

Let the summer eating fest begin!

My brother and sister-in-law are coming for a visit next week. They moved up to Victoria, BC a few years ago and I miss them desperately. We have almost always lived close to one another, and one activity that was at least a weekly standard was cooking fabulous meals together, or going out to eat.

My brother is a MEAT man, and my sister-in-law has been a semi-vegetarian ever since she lived in Mexico because the meat down there... not so clean. She found that the abundant, high quality and cheap veggies and seafood were far more appetizing. My Eric is a VEGGIE at heart, but does love his meat from time to time, so we cook lots of vegg in our house with a sampling of meat here and there. I miss being able to cook up big meat dishes, and BBQ and push them onto my brother. Now? We can't get through a tri-tip before having to toss it. With my brother... that baby would be gone in one sitting.

Next Wednesday they will start the drive south for a visit. They don't have a date they have to go home, so they are going to stay until they feel like leaving (how awesome is that!) He has to work, and she has a friend that just had a baby so she's going to help her out during the day. That means we're going out to eat or cooking a yummy meal almost every day for the next 2 weeks (of course unless they have plans or something).

I've been looking forward to this ever since they mentioned a possible trip a few months ago. In the back of my mind I have kept a running list of things we must do while they are here (note, it is all food related):

Places we will go out to eat:

• Korean BBQ - some place in Oakland we go to but never remember the name
• SUSHI - Yanagi Sushi, Concord
• Mediterranean - The Mediterranean, Concord
• Indian - Sargam Indian Cuisine, Walnut Creek
• Chinese Buffet - Buffet City, Concord
• The best Chinese food in NoCal - O'Mei's in Santa Cruz
• Napa - anywhere, its Napa... Everything is good!

Stuff I want to make:

• BBQ Pulled Pork
• Duck with a Cherry Gastric
  
• Grilled Salmon
• Steak & Scallops
• Some tasty pasta dishes
• Sourdough bread
• Pizza
• Eggs Benedict
• Cinnamon Rolls
• Apricot Cobbler
• Plum Tart
• Shortbread

Oh how I love having company! MMm Mmmm

I so didn't fail!

Yes this is a blatant patting myself on the back post which runs on longer then anyone cares, and by no means is it a plea for yipees, congratulations, hoorays, or the like.

Ok, I didn't exactly excel, but somehow I didn't fail my final.

There were only 5 people left enrolled in the class come the last night (might say something about the difficultly, or the teacher, or both), and one of the 5 had done so well that he didn't need to take the final. Disgusting really, as he works full time doing the shit we were learning and knew more up to date information then the instructor.

When I got the final I looked over the 3 pages. Decided that I might actually be able to pull this one off. 'Hold on tight! Here we go!'

I flew through the first 2 pages, leaving one question completely blank. There was no need to even consider it, I didn't know the answer. Then that last page. Oh, the evil page of questions that you actually have KNOW everything from the class to be able to pull these babies off. I answered some, and put down partial answers for the others just to see if I could scrape some sympathy points.

I don't know how but I was the first to turn it in. I asked if I could wait for it to be graded, so he pulls out his red pen.
Check
Check
Check
Dirty look - He calls me up to review the one I skipped, and when I say I didn't answer it on purpose, he rolls his eyes.
Check
Check
...
Scribble, Scribble (we're onto the last page here)

He motions for me to come back up. Oh my. 35.5 out of 40! That isn't' failing at all! Then I point out to him that he scored the whole last page incorrectly, they were worth 2 points each, not 1. Can I stab myself in the back any harder? He adjusts my score, but still didn't weigh them all 2 points so I only lost one additional point, but this time I let it slide. Maybe he was just being nice.

Phew! My summer can now begin. Am I taking a class in the Fall? HELL NO!


(Bringing back memories anyone?)

Whine Whine Whine

Look out people... I am cranky and whiney today (ok I have been for a few weeks, and it was peaking yesterday but I tried to contain it until I unleashed it out onto J. I'm Sorry J!) .

I'm burnt. I don't wanna do anything. On Sunday in an attempt to not study, I even booted up my beloved SIMs and was bored with them within 2 minutes. Why do I want to make these computer "people" do stuff if I can't even seem to do anything myself right now. I'm a lump. A lump on a log. I'm tired, and I do nothing about it.

Exercise will make ya feel better!
Yea, I know. But that would require me to leave the couch, and I'm really really good at making excuses.

Meditate!
Uh Huh. I know it totally works for me, and even better if I combine it with exercise and do me some good yoga.

But alas, reading blogs, whining about my bum-ness, watching ill produced TV shows, looking at catalogs which I will never buy anything out of, sitting in a car for my long ass commute, then sitting in a very "neutral" cloth covered cubicle with barely a glimpse of the outside world, avoiding studying for a class I have lost interest in (which finally ends tonight), takes up so much of my day that I hardly have time to take care of myself. Thank goodness I can fail my final tonight so I can be done with that class.

As my darling friend over at Autumn's Mom reminds me, "tomorrow is another day". Perhaps I will turn myself around this month, my birthday month (oh GOD, not another birthday to remind me of my failure of "the Plan"). Wait a minute, there can be no perhaps. I will. I must.

Just letting it go

Exchange with my parents, as told by my mother:

Dad: "I need to use the car to go to the store to buy some milk"

Mom: "We have plenty of milk."

Dad: "It's for the baby raccoons" (side note: my father has fed the mother raccoon since she was a baby, so of course she has her baby's under the house so my father will feed all of them.)

Mom: "What makes you think their mother's milk isn't good enough that you have to give them cow's milk"

Dad: "What is the purpose of cows if not to feed all of the baby animals? grumble grumble grumble" and so on for a few minutes

Mom: stands there in silence and then continues whatever she was doing (she calls this, "Just letting it go")


She says he didn't go to the store but I'm sure he whipped up a very fattening and tasty meal for the momma raccoon, you know, so she can make better milk then the cow's. I can't wait until he starts letting them all into the house to feed them prime rib at the table. The baby raccoons may be adorable now, but when they all start having their babies under that house, I think there will be a bit of a problem.

Since my brother and I moved out, he has taken it upon himself to feed ALL of the wildlife in the now very suburban neighborhood. I'm sure the neighbors love the 5 loud ravens that visit every morning to get their fill of peanuts and scrap veggies, along with their morning baths in the various water dishes around the yard.

He means well. He doesn't know any other way to express caring and love without the use of food (oh and little envelopes of money slipped under the table, but the raccoons and ravens can't really use that).

working from home

I was working from home yesterday and was thinking how lucky I am that my boss occasionally lets me work from home when I have stuff going on like appointments, house projects, and school. And then I looked up and realized a few more things that make working from home more joyous (you know more joyous then driving 44 miles into the office)
















At home, I have a window seat and can open the window to feel a breeze (and finally!!! yesterday there was a cool breeze). Unlike at the office were I can sorta see some filtered sun light over my cube wall, and there is an AC vent above my desk.

At home, I don't have to go across the street to get ANOTHER sandwich from the deli. At home I have a freezer with ice cream sandwiches. So much better then egg salad!

At home, I can take a little nap when I'm nodding off or don't feel well (I think the ice cream sandwich played a number on me).

Then the best part of working at home...my boys come and hang out with me. Yes they occasionally get a little annoying as one of them likes to get attention by pacing infront of the laptop, or if that isn't working, he just stands across it so I can't see the screen or use the keyboard (he's big, he can stand with his back feet and the front feet on both sides of the keyboard). And you know my papers and files make a great bed. Plus, they are a great distraction when I need to get away from all of the computer stuff.

NPR = OLD

There is new proof that I am getting old:

1. I have only listened to NPR during my commute this week, and was interested in every report (usually I only listen to it during the drive home)
2. Monday I worked really late and I was bummed that traffic was light so I was not going to be in the car for an NPR report I wanted to hear
3. I stayed up late listening to all of the NPR shows and reports I had missed on Monday which are not in podcast form, so I couldn't download it to my iPod
   
4. My iPod has more NPR shows then songs
5. I am considering buying an iPod car kit thingy so I can listen to my backlog of NPR podcasts, when I'm not interested in listening to the on air program
6. While I worked today...I listened to NPR
   

Debit Card Monopoly

ACK!
In Europe, Monopoly's colorful way of introducing kids to money management, worth, and simple math is being lost to the electronic age. I heard this on the radio this morning, it is quickly running around the net (as witnessed here, and here, and over here), and it is currently the talk of the office. Yes, the games will still be sold with the traditional paper money, but how many kids would willingly take to calculating the money in their head when they can just swip their little card through the VISA scanner and let the machine do it for them (yes it actually says VISA on the scanner).

As one co-worker said "It'll make kids dumb, or at least won't give them the opportunity to learn more important skills".

And another said, "We wouldn't want them to think for themselves, or learn how to ask inquisitive questions."

I find this incredibly sad. True, we have been moving to a no paper sort of world, but kids need that tactile stimulus, the visual experience of seeing all that money (or lack there of) to really grasp the concept. How many of you have had your kids say, 'Mama just go to the ATM and get some money so we can buy ____', or 'Daddy, just use your credit card'. They see us acquiring "stuff" by simply swiping a plastic card in a machine and pushing some buttons or signing a piece of paper.

Yes, kids can learn about money and economics, and get to practice math by means of other activities, but that is what these games are about.... yea yea yea, spending quality time together, but they are also about making learning fun.

Joy's of a Summer Semester Final

I've been really stressed about this summer class I'm taking. This is the last week of school, so that means a test tonight (that I'm not prepared for ... again), and a final on Thursday. Last Thursdays test, I was only able to answer one question, and who knows if I actually got it correct. And of course, since I had such I a lovely weekend, I didn't want to spoil it by actually sitting down, stopping the fun and studying!

So I am pleased to annouce (good for me, bad for those in need of AC), a major transformer just blew by the college and the college is closed until further notice! Yes, this means my final will likely be next week, but that gives me another chance for some weekend studying.

Our first visit to Copia

What a beautiful weekend. We spent all of Saturday afternoon at Copia in Napa. It was hot, but beautiful. We got some great shots of the edible gardens, and these are just a few of my favorites. Feel free to check out the rest of the set over here.

We got there later then we wanted to, but we both had a lot of stuff we had to get done this weekend, so the morning was full of errands, house work and studying. We managed to get to Napa around 2pm, right about the time the the sun was blazing at it's hottest. Luckily in Napa, it felt much cooler then in Concord (only 30 minutes away).















We arrived just in time for the last garden tour of the day. What luck! The tour guide was very smart, personable and knowledgeable. I think we toured the gardens for about 2 hours in that sun. Even with liberal sunscreen application, my legs still burned a touch, but I only noticed it behind my knees. The gardens were so beautiful that I didn't really mind the heat. It was just wonderful.
The main reason for our visit to Copia on this particular day was to take part in a stone fruit tasting. As you already know, I love me some summer fruit, especially stone fruits. To boost this love of the fruit, Eric has started a landscape design business specializing in edible landscapes. Sometimes this means fruit/veggie garden deigns, but mostly its incorporating edible plants into a decorative landscape. Eric is also a member of our local rare fruit growers society, so as you can tell, he loves the fruit too. The main fruit tree grower in the area, Dave Wilson Nursery, was hosting this stone fruit tasting to see people's reactions to some new varieties, and some heirlooms that most people are not exposed to. Eric did a lot of networking and information gathering, and I just grazed while he was busy working. I didn't think it possible, but I was fruited out by the time we left.


And no.. there were no ill effects from massive fruit consumption.

Cherry is full of Cherries

**Warning** If you are sensitive to TMI stories, don't bother reading any further. But if you were that sensitive to TMI, then you likely wouldn't be reading blogs anyway.

Sometimes I wish I was working from home everyday. You never know when you wish you could crawl and hide from your co-workers. For example, yesterday I had a very busy morning researching some issues at work, and even though I had the pangs of hunger at 10:30am, I ignored them. 'I'm busy right now body, I'll feed you later.' At noon I was almost done with my research so I thought I'd eat the fruit I had brought for my afternoon snack. The next thing I knew I had eaten about 2 cups of fresh bing cherries. MMmm Mmm, love my summer fruit.

About 30 minutes later I was feeling a little ill. 30 minutes after that I was very uncomfortable, yet getting hungry again, so I start popping the Tums. An hour later I decided maybe a walk would do me some good, maybe relax some muscles, and I could get some crackers from the store at the top of the hill.

The walk was perfect. I was feeling better by the time I got back to the office, but strangely as soon as I sat down, I was in pain again. WTF!

I mention my pain to a friend online, and she said... sounds like gas! What? Gas? I'm freakin 31 years old and I don't know what extreme gas pains feel like? I guess I'm lucky, but I want to curl up and cry at this point. Should I go home? Traffic looks bad and the thought of sitting in the car for 1-2 hours sounds unbearable.

I had mentioned to my boss that I wasn't feeling well, and about 30 minutes later he walks by my desk to find me working while standing yet hunched over my keyboard trying to be productive. I look up in agony and extreme embarrassment. He says... "Those Cherries can be really acidic huh? Maybe Cherry shouldn't eat so many Cherries. Cherries are giving Cherry a pain in the ass?" I look up, smile but can't laugh due to the extreme cramping that was running ramped through my body. I say I think I should go home. He giggles and agrees. How embarrassing.

And yes, of course there was an accident on the Bay Bridge so it took me over an hour just to get to the other side, and I won't go into what the Caldecot Tunnel looked like, nor the 24/680 interchange. So wishing I worked from home yesterday, or at least lived less then 44 miles away.

Summer School

This summer I decided I would be able to handle 1 class. It's a computer science class, and an intro class at that, and it would help me out at work. Somehow I have failed to realize that studying might help me actually understand this stuff. And not just studying, if I were to actually do the assignments or the reading before attempting a test, maybe I would not stare blankly at the page.

Since it is a summer class, everything is accelerated. I thought I would do ok since I work in this operating system everyday. We have 7 tests and 1 final, which will cancel out the 2 lowest test scores. Since we have fewer meetings then a normal semester, and we moved very slowly during the first few weeks, we now have a test every class meeting. The first 3 tests, I did great. Last Thursday's test, I stupidly erased correct answers for stupid inpulse changes. When I turned it in, my teacher glanced at it and chuckled.

Last night, after I turned in my test, I mentioned to my teacher that I should have taken the class credit/no credit, so if I did poorly it wouldn't effect my transcript. (But someplace in me thinks that someday I'll go back to school full time to get a ComSci degree (I'm clearly high), so I just might need a letter grade for this class. Plus, my boss wants to work this class into my goals which support my bonus.) My teacher asked me why I think I would need to take it credit/no credit, that I've been doing fine. Then he looked at my test. Look up at me, smiled and said," Maybe you should have."

Thursday Thoughts

Taking the follower position from my buddy Autumn's Mom, here are the next 13 things that enter my brain... let's see if my fingers can keep up:

1. Damn... gone blank. What a waste of the first thought.
   
2. My wrist hurts and my co-worker wants me to read a book on the psychological connections of chronic pain to suppressed rage. Is he trying to say something?
3. Babies... Babies are on my mind. Want them, love them, want all to be healthy and happy and thrive.
4. Pain... not that physical kind, but the emotional realm. So sad for my friend and her baby. The service was yesterday. so tiny! so very very tiny.
5. I like working at home, so I can easily bug my kitties anytime I want to and I can wear my jammies and no one will think any differently of me. The kitties may not like being startled awake by me petting them while they snooze next to me, but I like having the option.
6. Blogs are taking too much time of my day. If only my job was not to work with the internet, or I would request to have my internet access limited so I would not be tempted to see what people are saying. I can't even just go to a blog once a day. I have to check back to see if people have commented. I'm sick I tell you... sick! And then I find I feel an obligation to read and comment on every blog I enjoy. After doing all of that, I don't have time to write on my own. So many blogs, so little time.
   
7. Stress and depression. nuff said
8. I wonder what I shall have for lunch today? oh wait, its almost 3pm. I wonder what I will have for dinner today?
9. I have a therapy appointment this weekend. I don't wanna. It will ruin my day. I will be an emotional blob the rest of the day. I hate that I do not look forward to therapy. It seems to cause more pain then good, even though I know that getting out that deep shit is painful and it is better in the long run, but on the day I have to go, it never seems worth it. Besides, then I have to write her a check, and we know how I feel about money.
10. Ack Money! Did I mention the stress and the depression?
11. Food mixed with Stress and Depression. Lately I have found I don't enjoy food. My friends have said its probably my stress/depression. I guess I know what I will be talking about at therapy on Saturday.
    
12. I have the best friends in the world. They are all very good listeners. I want to learn how to be a better listener.
13. I love summer fruit. Summer fruits are grand. Today I have consumed an apricot, a nectarine, blueberries and some plums. Somehow, the bananas on the desk just don't make the cut when there are these great fruits within reach.

HA! I just read through these. I clearly am thinking about my stress and depression (sorry, had to say it one more time) a bit too much, which probably adds to it. Thank goodness for friends and summer fruit! Kiss Kiss!

Reduced fat.... but extra CRAP!

I have a hard time eating properly and often do not get in breakfast, which causes me to over eat at lunch. I had started eating a banana or an apple in the morning, and putting a little peanut butter on each bite to give me a more sustainable satisfaction. I stopped eating the peanut butter when I started being more conscience of my food choices, but then found that I also stopped eating the bananas and apples, and therefore, no breakfast.

I read an article about how peanut butter can actually help people loose weight, because when they had a serving (2 Tablespoons), they felt full longer and would tend not to snack. So I decided to bring peanut butter back to my morning routine, which had dwindled to me just being hungry and whiney and more apt to get a big fat bagel or doughnut. I usually eat natural peanut butter at home, but at work I'd like to have one of the good ol' preservitive filled kind, so I can keep it at my desk, with no refrigeration. Sometimes ease out-weighs the whole food movement.

I got the reduced fat Jif, thinking if I'm going to have the bad kind, I might as well get it with a little less fat. I failed to read the label in the store though. It has the same calorie count as regular Jif (190 cal/serving), and only 20 calories less from fat (110 cal vs 130 cal), because it is full of stuff I can't pronounce AND the label calls it Peanut Butter Spread because it only contains 60% peanuts. Thats right.. the other 40% is sugar and CRAP.



** Thank you to Liz for buying me the peanut butter while I went shopping with her and her toddler, but forgot I had put it in the cart when we got to the checkout so she ended up paying for it. I see how it can be difficult to shop wisely while also entertaining a toddler. **

Cameron

Usually my Monday morning routine is to jot down my weekend review in as few words as possible (of course I'm much too verbose for a few words). However my weekend seems pointless when I am greeted by an email from my oldest friend.

Today I am saddened by the news that my friend's 2 week old, beautiful baby boy, Cameron William, was taken from his loving family while he rested his sweet little body in his crib.

I know Rachael does not read this, nor do any of you know her, but please take a moment from your day to think of of the young souls who leave us all too quickly, and the emense love and longing their families are left with.

Cameron, you are a wonderful baby boy and you will always be loved and cherished. May your wings protect your family and hold them with warmth and strength.

Student Loans

Back in 2002, I decided to go to a vocational school to get a Culinary Arts degree after I was laid off for the second time from the high-tech industry. Because the culinary industry is HOT, and because teaching the culinary arts is now more a business then a desire to share knowledge, my loans are higher then my sister-in-law's vocational undergrad and graduate loans put together, and my program was only 18 months. I never really intended for it to be a career move because I already had a mortgage and quickly approaching goals to have a family, and quite frankly the food industry doesn't pay much, especially when SO many people are turning to it because of the food network, celeb chefs, magazines, books, etc. I just wanted to go because I never wanted to say I didn't but always wanted to. So I did, and I'll never tell a single soul to do what I did!

If there is anyone out there with a student loan with an adjustable interest rate, you know that on July 1st, the rates went up. As they do every July 1st, but this time they REALLY went up. I got a lovely letter from my loan provider for 2 of my 4 loans, with the new raised minimum payment amount. I had already praised myself on making payments larger then my minimum for years even while I was out of work (ok, I was never completely out of work because I continued to work in catering and at a resort until Sept of last year, but we had to dip into savings every month to make ends meet even with those 2 jobs), but now my minimum is even higher then that.

I did see the light at the end of the tunnel though. At the bottom of my letter there was a break down of the loans.

• Loan Date
• Original Loan Amount
• Outstanding Principal
• Interest Rate

With loan dates of 2002 and 2003, I am proud to say that it only took me 4 years to finally get the Outstanding Principal below the Original Loan Amount. That's right, I've been only freakin' paying for new and capitalized interest (capitalized interest = interest which was accrued while actively enrolled full-time in school and during the grace period which is then applied to the principal and any future accrued interest is then calculated with this new HUGE amount). I have a feeling that when we do get around to selling the beloved (GAG!) townhouse, all of the equity earned will be going to those good ol' student loans. Moving out of state is looking more and more a necessity.

Summer in SF

I very safely got this photo of the lovely overcast over SF during my commute this morning. I'd like to also note that it was flippin COLD and WINDY this morning when I left for work. It is July in California, and I'm wearing a sweater (but of course still wearing sandals).

What a lovely vacation!

I am oh so lucky to be one of THOSE people that work for a company that are smart about scheduling company holidays and I had Monday AND Tuesday off for the 4th. To add to the enjoyment of a 4 day weekend, I took Friday off as well. Woo Hoo! That's right, 5 days off, and a resulting 2 shortened work weeks. LOVELY!

Sorry for my absence in the blogosphere, but during my vacation, I opted to also vacate most of the internet except for the occasional curious factoid look-up or movie listings.

I spent the Friday with my buddy Dot, her pre-teen daughter, her niece and nephew, and her friend and daughter. We all woke up way early and went to Marine World (Aka: Six Flags Marine World, but I hate calling it that because although I enjoy the rides, I do not like what they represent nor the stress they are putting on the animals which were there first - yes I know I'm a hypocrite because I still went and spent money, but I don't have to like it! And yes, I cried at the Whale show too, I always do.). My favorite morning radio show, Alice 97.3, was doing a remote there, and the first 1000 got in free (big deal considering it is now over $50 admission). Dot amazingly got her family in the car and was there by 6am. I arrived late at 7am, but still got in FREE!

The rest of the weekend (4 days still left), was spent sleeping, cooking, drywalling and painting the tiny shed, and organizing Eric's landscaping supplies and tools so they fit into said shed. Eric came to the conclusion that even though he runs his own landscaping business, he does not yet have employees and therefore does not need 3 of the same kind of rake. This realization was repeated for a number of tools and supplies. We both have a tendency to grab free/cheap stuff when its offered, so ample quantities of stuff that is and will never be used tend to accumulate in spaces which then make the items and the space unusable. Since we live in a small space with little storage, organization and limiting the "stuff" factor is a must.

Sadly (even though I thought of it multiple times) I failed to snap any before pictures. But here are some afters. The patio still needs some work, but I'm ok with that. I'm told that all of that landscaping "stuff" if ear marked for a client install this week, so it should be gone by the end of the week (I've heard this before, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt this time).


oh yea baby.. thats the new AC!

For the before shots, I will ask you to use your imagination. Think of this shed so packed with stuff to the ceiling that it took skill to open the door safely, and then imagine noticing water coming from under all the stuff due to the neighbor's failed water heater, so all that stuff had to be piled onto the 12x12 patio which is also used as our main entry and my outdoor kitchen, and it already had its own pile of stuff because it was being used as the shed overflow. Then imagine moldy walls, and then ripped up walls...but with a new water heater.

I will also let you imagine the site of our trash can, today, two days before trash pick up. Imagine it... can you see it? I know I can. But most importantly, I can see most of the patio now and I USED the BBQ on the 4th! oh, and if anyone needs a tape measure, I think we found a total of 5 (including the one that Eric bought on Sunday because he couldn't find any of his.)

Money Money Money

Sitting before me (for the last 4 days)...

• Stack of bills
• Checkbook

Why is it always so hard to write the checks that I am obligated to write? I plan for them every month, and even worse.. I actually have the funds to cover them yet it hurts so much to see the money go.

Don't get me wrong. I know I am very fortunate and have been lucky in my life to have been given opportunities to learn on the job, and have therefore been able to buy real estate on my own (its just a townhouse which I hate, but that's my name on the mortgage and hopefully my equity that is building), I put myself through culinary school (but will have those student loans until 2017 on the current plan) but more importantly I have never had to go to bed hungry or wanted for any of the true nessecities in life (except maybe more love and direction as a kid but that's a different post).

I hate money, yet I feel I need it and need more and more. I hate that I love CA so much that I choose to live here and therefore can never afford a comfortable life where one of us can stay home to raise a family, in a house, with a yard and a garden, in a good neighborhood/community, with great schools. Or is it that I am so afraid of change that I force myself to not see a life outside of CA. I hate that I commute 3+ hours a day in order to work at a job that is ok, but not inspiring, but I do it everyday.

I grew up knowing the finacial woes of my mom (my father had no idea of the needs of his family nor how my mother was handling the books). I knew that she was taking cash advances from creditors in order to pay the creditors. I decided to start working younger then I should have, to take care of some of my expenses in-order to not be as much of a burden on my family. I became obsessed with being financially independant, and it remains a major stresser in my life.... and a major battle in my relationship (but we're not going to open that can any wider then that).

Sometimes I want to have a finacial/life advisor tell me I'm doing the right thing to ease my mind, or to tell me what I'm doing wrong and to tell me what to do. Money is dangerous, it is evil, yet it allows me to live the life that I have. Sometimes I think I should change my life so money isn't such a focus, so I can enjoy my life and spend less time worrying. Perhaps that means moving. Perhaps that means changing myself in more ways then I can currently imagine in order to gain the peace that I want.

New AC.... check!

Yesterday our new AC was installed. It was just a replacement so the installation wasn't incredibly involved but it still took a good 5 hours. I'm a tad annoyed by the electical work he had to do, because the shutoff box had to be rerouted to a different wall so now we have electical conduit, which is very visible, running along 2 walls. The new unit is HUGE, compared to the old one (which was original to the building - 1970). We purposely got a larger unit because its difficult to cool off the upstairs, but man its way bigger the I expected. Of course even the new AC has a hard time combating the heat upstairs so its freezing downstairs while its still warm upstairs (hopefully the new windows will help this situtation).

Of course now our 106+ heat wave from last week has past and it was actually sprinkling this morning and was nice and cool. I'm sure we'll still run it at night to attempt to cool down the upstairs (while I sit bundled in a blanket downstairs). If only we could have a normal NorCal summer so I can justify the $$$. I suppose we still have July, August and Sept to have another heat wave.

*** side note: Maya, Thank you for coming over and cooking me a lovely lunch of caesar salad and mac'n'cheese. I love that your mom was flexible with the lunch plans to bring you over to my house for your cooking lesson since I couldn't leave with the AC man still there. (J, you should post the lemony caesar dressing recipe, it was Mmm Mm good -- of course all the parm Maya put on the salad made it extra yummy too!)

Women and their shoes

Yesterday a friend of mine commented about how he's puzzled by the woman's need to have many different shoes, and asked if I could explain what is the root of this need.

Well I am probably not the best woman to ask, as I am missing the shoe buying love gene and I am stuck in jeans and t-shirts due to my lack of fashion sense and poor body image. In fact, I do believe that E has more shoes then I do. I find shoes to be beautiful, but I'm not a big purchaser because my feet are hard to fit. I'm an odd sort of woman that is way too practical and I tend not to buy something if I can't walk in it, it hurts or I'm not going to wear it on a regular basis. I never learned how to properly walk in heels, and I will twist my ankle wearing tennis shoes (I often pronate and walk a little like a duck). I have purchased the occasional shoe for a specific outfit, all to often to never be worn a second time. The most repeated shoe in my closet is an array of flip flops and perhaps the same pair of running shoes because they were on sale and I finally found a model that feels good on my poor feet.

Girls ... speak up. Why do most women need to buy such an assortment of shoes?

WeeeeekEND

What an awesome weekend I had. Eric had to work all weekend so I had free license to hang out with friends. We attempted to do little bits of housework all week, so it didn't all HAVE to get done on the weekend.

The weekend started off with a BANG, with the opening day of the Alameda County Faire and the fireworks show. I joined some friends at the faire after work, and we looked at the bunnies, birds and goats, and then set up a nice spot under some trees to try to get some relief from the heat, and we all had some tasty food and let the little ones run around. The faire put on a great show of fireworks, and I got some pictures of the kids seeing their first fireworks. Neither of them got really scared, even though we were really close and some of them made some big BANGs. They were great little troupers, and seemed to love the lights.

Saturday was a fun and relaxing day hanging out with Dot for her birthday. I didn't realize it, but I was there ALL DAY long. It was great to just sit and hang out. Of course her neighbor from across the street kept egging her on to have a little extra fun with our good friend Jose (it was actually Sauza, but it all does the same thing). This is her after the 2nd shot. wooo hooo!

Sunday, I had another birtday get together with an old co-worker. We had brunch at Mudd's in San Ramon. Which was yummy. They weren't very busy, and the crowd was... well... OLD. The food was tasty though, but I did leave a little hungry. So I called up Liz (since I was already almost down to her place) and we went to lunch and ran some errands. She claims she wouldn't have gotten all of her shopping done without me there which I still can't comprehend, but I suppose an extra set of hands and extra attention to entertain a toddler while shopping is helpful. I had fun so it was no trouble to me. I like dancing funny and running around her little monkey to make him laugh. And trying to decypher what he's saying is always a good game too.

After the monkey went down for a nap, we went off to look at some SHOES! I found one pair of sandles at shoe pavillion which are so comfortable but I'll probably fall off of the 2 inch heel, and I got about 5 pairs of flip flops from Old Navy. When I was showing off my purchases, Eric said "Do you NEED all of those colors?" Of course I responded with, "yes!", and he had the best response of "oh. well then ok." (He's learning... good boy!) But then I thought, I really don't NEED them all, but I think I'd spend more on gas to drive them back to the store, then I paid for them. So I'm keeping them. WEeee

It's Friday! It's Friday!

My last post was on Monday asking where my weekend went and here I am wondering where the hell did the week go?
I just can't seem to take the time to post to my lovely blog lately. I have the time to read the few that I read everyday, and to compose comments for them, but getting my thoughts down for some simple posts for me, just doesn't happen. This new job of mine actually expects me to work all day long, and somehow the thought of turning on the computer when I get home is just not that appealing.

I'm learning how to be brief, so bare with me... a quick summary of this week's post thoughts:

• HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOT! Can't wait to see you and your new yard and enjoy your carnitas and ritas!

• Joys and Pains of a mid-week Bon Fire in SF. Awesome time with some great friends and we meet some new ones, but I burned my finger (logs are hot when in a fire and should not be turned with bare hands), and I got a $76 parking ticket, which amazingly I was the only person in the group that didn't really care about it -- must have been the effects of the red bull and the fact that it was already past my bed time.

• Summer school - The summer semester has begun and I'm taking one class which meets twice a week. Last night I had my first test and realized that my teacher has never taught before and has OBVIOUSLY not worked in the operating system he is teaching about for a LONG, LONG time. He kept saying... this should theoretically work. (and yes that stuff was on the test)

• Water Heater... check- The first of the 3 current home projects (which require outside help) was completed on Tuesday. Our new water heater was installed (twice, because the first one wouldn't light), along with some other outside plumbing projects. Eric now complains that the water is too hot because we had gotten used to not having to turn on ANY cold water in the shower. All hot, all the time was just right for the shower, but sucky for washing dishes. Now we can say that we have a hot water heater, and not just a water warmer.

Now I'm just working through the day to get to the point where the weekend begins in my office... 4pm and the beer, wine, cheese and other snackies come out (and I sneak out shhhh!)

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT ONE!!

Where did my weekend go?

I'm sleepy. I'm cranky. It's that time of month (even though my Dr put me on that once in 3 months plan, but my body has rebelled and has been causing me unjust pain, bloating and crankiness for the last week so I'm giving in and giving the pills a rest) Oh, and I think that has been why I've been so tired and numb feeling and generally poopy.

I started the weekend off with a fun Friday evening out with some of my bestest of friends. I was feeling crappy but I popped some tylenol and that helped a little. (sorry for being so poopy guys!). We even went to a variety of shoe stores but nothing was inspiring me to whip out my wallet.

On Saturday, we went to a nursery in American Canyon that has a nice variety of fruit trees and shrubs. Eric found a fellow edible landscaper and the two of them chatted and picked out plants for one of Eric's clients. Eric was thrilled, and it was a good resource find for him but I got sunburned and the crankiness began to set in.

After too much traffic on I80 and what Eric pointed out to be a silent drive home, I cooked up a surprisingly tasty pasta dish. We debated going out, but I knew we had veggies at home that I needed to use and the crankiness was overtaking me so I knew dining out would not be an enjoyable experience, so I just threw something together at home. DAMN it was really good, and sadly there was none left for my lunch today. I made a ragout with eggplant, crimini mushrooms, tons of garlic, diced tomatoes and tomato sauce. I debated between putting it over polenta or penne, and opted for the penne because I simply can't make polenta unless I use cream, butter, wine and CHEESE. Plus, since I am trying to watch my portions and calories and need to somehow feed Eric's insatiable appetite (no really, it is very difficult to get him full), I went for the pasta because he could easily pile tons of pasta with the sauce, and I could eat the sauce with just a little pasta.

After this yummy meal, I started felling really worn out and got even more cranky, so I went to bed around 7pm, to be woken up by some drunk forgetting he needed to make a turn outside our place and jumped the curb and ran into a tree. That is NOT how I like to be woken up. We feared Eric's trunk was hit so we ran outside, to see the drunkard, turning around and running home with a flat tire and his tail between his legs (we assume he was drunk, but possibly just having a moment of the stupids).

Sunday consisted of sleeping in, a morning walk with Eric, and shopping. It felt like I spent hours at the mall and other various stores, trying on clothes and shoes and feeling self-conscience about everything. My toes are too long, my feet are too big, I don't know how to walk in heels, do people actually think THAT is cute? (Note to self... do not shop on the first day of your period when you are feeling crappy and bloated).

I honestly don't feel like I accomplished much this weekend besides some laundry, grocery shopping, buying some shorts for Eric and lots of sleeping. Maybe it's what I needed, but I sure do feel like it went by too fast. I will be sitting here for the 5 days, dreaming for the next weekend to come quickly.

The last AC man

Last night we got our last estimate on a replacement Air Conditioner. Luckily the guy called when he was on his way because I had completely forgotten. My friend, Liz, even asked "don't you have an AC guy coming today", and I said that we had a window guy coming and he was already done. Completely forgot, and of course I got stuck at work late, which meant more traffic.

I was 45 minutes late, but luckily Eric heard the message so he stuck around to meet with the guy. Eric really liked and trusted him and wanted us to show him our previous estimates to see if he could match them. This guy wanted to change out the whole system, so I immediately didn't like or trust him. He said that with their current special, the new furnace would only be $1000 more. (Right because I have an extra $1k in cash just lying about! I need SHOES man!) It was obvious he had already sold Eric on the idea but Eric didn't realize how low our current estimates were and it became obvious that I was going to be a force to be reckoned with. I knew the new HVAC laws and the codes, and after me giving him the stink eye for about 30 minutes, he proved to me that he knew what he was talking about, but I still didn't want to shell out $5200 when all I want is a new AC unit for $2k (our lowest bid). This guy struggled to get his only AC price to match, but couldn't really come close. He called his boss, and they agreed to knocked off some of their warranties that I didn't care about since we WILL be moving in 1-2 years, and they had an available crew TODAY so they would knock off more if we were ready to sign.

It all seemed more and more tempting, and it was 9pm by this time, and I had to get all big and fluffy (cat reference) and say that really we can't sign anything tonight. When we look at each bid, and if they were all selling the same components, all of the bids come close enough that we need to think about it (about $300 difference across the board). It would come down to who we trusted and who was just trying to make a sale. After the VERY nice and knowledgeable man left, Eric and I decided we would go with our lowest bid. I'm going to call them today to ask some final questions and then set up the installation.

PHEW! It better end up being a killer hot summer this year with all the money and pain we are going through to keep that place cool.

Where am I?

The last 2 days I haven't felt like myself. I have been really sleepy and feeling lazy. I've noticed that I've hardly interacted with E at all, and I'm feeling really bad about that. I haven't been able to wake up in the morning, even though I sleep through the night. I don't feel down about anything in specific, so I don't think I'm depressed. Maybe we did too much this weekend, and I need a recovery day. Maybe I'm coming down with something (come to think of it I have been really phlemy.) Maybe it's the realization that I have very few shoes in my closet, and none that are work appropriate or going out appropriate (just tennis shoes and flip flops).

If you see my motivation or my pep wandering around, can you please send it my way?

Much thanks!

Smith and Carlos

This weekend while we were visiting friends in San Jose, we walked through the campus of SJSU on our way to breakfast. They asked if we would like to see the statue of Smith and Carlos, which I knew nothing about. They briefly told us the story of the 1968 Olympians Tommie Smith and John Carlos who were students at SJSU when they won Gold and Bronze medals in track at the '68 Olympics. They told us that during the medal presentation, they turned away from the flag and gave the 'black power' solute.

The statue was amazing. Incredibly life-like, moving and beautiful. It made me sad to find out that they were then striped of their medals and sent home to years of turmoil for themselves and their family.


I couldn't believe that I knew nothing of this especially since images of them on the podium have been deemed as one of the most memorable images in history. But then I thought, why would I know about it? The Civil Rights movement was not openly talked about in high school (at least not my school when I was there). History in general was skimmed over. HISTORY... all of it! Perhaps this is a huge area of study I missed out on by not completing college. But even while I was going full-time (yes, I'm still taking 1 freakin class a semester), I had no interest in history or humanities and was only taking the bare minimum for a science degree.

I understand that I live in my own little bubble, so what else do I know nothing about?


I found many an article about Carlos and Smith, but these I found to be very interesting and wanted to share:
The sjsu site explains all of the symbolic items (shoes, left vs right fist, etc.)
http://as.sjsu.edu/legacy/

Article which talks to the unveiling and why the silver medalist was not included in the statue.
http://www.commondreams.org/views05/1020-28.htm

Video interview with Channel 11 the day they received their honorary doctorate degrees from SJSU
http://www.nbc11.com/video/4542315/index.html

This Weekend - BFD

This weekend we joined some friends for an all day music festival. Oh sure, festival sounds like a day of jazz, and relaxing. OH no, this was Live 105's annual BFD concert. Most of you probably haven't listened to Live 105 for many years, but it's still out there and still playing some progressive stuff. I must say though, that I was feeling they were moving to a softer direction, but the concert was plenty hard.


I hardly listen to Live 105 myself because I'm more for the adult alternative now a days, but I like the occasional angry teenager music too. I knew we would be surrounded by teenagers at this concert, and I'd likely be annoyed a few times, and I was, but I tried to gain perspective and I soon chilled out and just enjoyed the day.

There were 3 stages all with a different feel (Local, Festival and the Main stage). We were very surprised by how good the local bands were, we are definitely going to be following some of the bands' progress (Two Seconds , Push to Talk ). The Festival stage was home to the mosh pit, the way too crowded crowd, the feeling I touched too many body parts, the being knocked over by some ginormus boobies, and some really cool bands. One band had a pretty obvious U2 influence (Every Move a Picture), and another was very Led Zeppelin, classically good rockin music (Wolfmother). There was one band that we couldn't help but make fun of the singer's deep voice with oddly "flamboyant" finger pointing (She Wants Revenge). Sadly I got sick of the crowd right before the one band I wanted to see came on (Yellowcard), so I listened to them from a distance and pretty much just heard the drums and the bass. Then on to the Main stage where we saw some old (Echo and The Bunnymen), some newer (Franz Ferdinand, and The Strokes) and some so new (or young) that I didn't know who they were or care so we left early (AFI). A large chunk of the crowd left after The Strokes, so I didn't feel TOO old leaving early.

We got down to San Jose around 11am, and parked in a VAST expanse of parking lots. That experience took about 30 minutes alone, but we had an awesome spot and easily walked just across the street to the venue. And I must give a shoutout to the Shoreline event staff... I've never seen such an organized group of people that were helpful and happy the whole day. Just as easy as we got in, we got out around 10:30pm with all limbs still attached and only a slight headache from the sun (oh and later discovered much darker shoulders then I went in with). We then spent the night at our friends place in San Jose so we didn't have to stay awake any longer then needed (because we're old).

Even though I passed out as soon as I showered, the boys went off to a local bar for a drink or two. They of course failed to take a key with them, and the girls were quite passed out when the boys made their way back to the house. Luckily the cat woke me up when the boys resorted to throwing pebbles at the windows (apparently the phone, doorbell, yelling and crazy knocking was not working to wake us up). I swore I heard them speaking Spanish so I still didn't open the door until I our friend started calling out his wife's name.

Sunday was a LOVELY lazy Sunday where we all slept in, then walked to a local restaurant where we had the most wonderful breakfast with our friends (Garden Scrabble with eggs, young fresh veggies and goat cheese with herbed potatoes), it was so good. I'd tell you the name, but I can't remember. But it is an old garage that was converted into a restaurant, and shares a garden patio with a neighboring bagel house, and hot dog place. So wonderful. We then walked around the neighborhood and went to open houses which none of us could afford.

We were back home by 3:30pm, and continued our lazy afternoon with a costco trip, laundry, movies and pizza. Yet another wonderful weekend.

Beware of the Tan Man!

This week has been one visit after another by window and HVAC estimators. Some have been pure salesmen, and others have been owners or actual installers. Let me tell you one thing..... DON'T trust the salesmen. Sure, some of them did know their stuff, but most of them are working on commission and do not take "we are not ready to sign today" or "we need to think about it", very well.

As I wrote in a previous post, we had the lovely experience of a very tired, cranky and BAD window salesman last week. When I told my friend J that I was considering still using him for some of the windows she said, "He's way too rude, and you would have to deal with him again, and you would be encouraging his horrid behavior." She's right, why should he get commission after he screwed up like that and made me angry enough to write about the experience. Plus, once we received estimates from other dealers, we were pleasantly surprised that they were all coming in around 1/3 of his price. Of course, it was a very different product, but the less expensive stuff is just fine for what we need. We haven't figured how who we are going to use for the windows, but we know who it isn't going to be!

And then comes our HVAC experience.

We live in Northern California, and not only is it lovely and sunny, where we live it gets down right HOT. Luckily it is mostly a dry heat, with the occasional humid day. The dead heat of summer will stay in the upper 80's to low 100's, and it doesn't always cool off much at night. Since we live in a 2 story townhome, and no western protection from the afternoon sun and very old windows, it gets very hot upstairs. Each day it never really cools off and as we get deeper and deeper into summer, it easily stays 80+ degrees upstairs. We do have central AC, but the unit is original which makes it 36 years old and inefficient as all hell. Plus, this place was built with very cheap materials, so you know they put in the bare minimum. Sure the new windows will help with the heat, but a new AC unit will certainly help keep the summer heat outside.

We have converted our upstairs 2nd bedroom into a very nice office for E and I. The office is clearly the hottest room in the house, and we spend a lot of time in there with our work. E wants to wait until we see what a difference the windows make, but I know it'll take 4-6 weeks to get a new AC unit installed in the middle of the summer heat, so I want to get it ordered now. He doesn't seem to remember last year, when he slept at least 3 nights a week downstairs where it was slightly cooler(and we that was a reasonably cool summer).

We've had 4 HVAC guys out here so far this week. We had 5 appointments, but one company didn't show up and claims they didn't have record of my call, even though I VERY distinctly remember their receptionist telling me I should ask a MAN, a neighbor, friend or my father, to be here with me because sometimes the technicians use industry terms that I may not understand. GASP! I admit I researched windows a whole lot more then AC units, but come ON! I am often more technical in the way of the home then E is, and he's a man of tools. Oh and I counted how many times she said AWESOME during my last conversation with her ... 6 times! Can't wait to see who they send out.

The first guy that came out was purely a salesman. He said that our furnace was at least 30 years old and we needed to replace the whole system. GULP! And, if we went with a lesser efficiency furnace, then we were required by the state to have our ducts tested and and sealed, which would be an additional $400. I noted that our ducting is all trapped in the ceilings and not accessible and that I understood this situation waived us from the testing. He said that wasn't true and the testing company knew how to deal with the trapped ducts. I asked how they would seal them without tearing into the ceilings? and he didn't know, but assured me that the $400 would cover that. Call me crazy, but drywall work to fix ripping into the ceilings would cost more then the testing fee. CLEARLY not a man that knows what he is talking about. He then proceeded to say we needed a 3 ton AC unit, to replace the 1.5 unit we have.... something not computing to you? YEAH, me too. Anyway, he wrote up his nice estimate, was SHOCKED that we were not ready to sign, got visibly irritated, and then scooted on his way. Now I ask you, how many people sign up for a $5k purchase right there on the spot, after CLEARLY stating that they were expecting something around $1-2k. Oh sure, we trust you Mr fake tan man (because no white man should every be that brown) with severely bleached teeth which do not hide the fact that they are totally crooked (just think of Ross' teeth bleaching episode). At the point of discussing the duct testing, I think I paid more attention to his teeth, and pondering how they could be so white with all of that shit passing through them.

The next 3 guys all came the next day, ALL of them were installers or owners of their company (and one was highly tan but obviously not fake shown by the non-tan wrinkles and the Pebble Beach shirt). Each one looked at the furnace and said something along the lines of, 'Oh, you have a really new furnace! That's great because then you just need to replace the AC' and 'You have a 1.5 ton AC unit now, so I'd recommend the same or maybe a little stronger. 2 tons would be plenty to keep you cool, even upstairs' and the kicker 'Take your time on your decision, that price is good until the end of the year'. PLUS their estimates were even cheaper for the exact same equipment the first guy was pushing. OH, and they each recommended getting at least 3 estimates, and to take our time. One guy said to stay away from the companies that took out the full page ads because they tended to upsell you stuff you don't need, and another said to look at the estimator's hands to see if they have every done the work they are selling.

So sum it up.... I'm gonna be broke soon, but I'll be coooool and comfy, and wiser to the in-home salesman.

Loved it then, Love it now

I suppose this is my official moment of getting sucked into the blogworld of tagging and MEMEs and lists of shit, so here goes...

Miss J wrote a Thursday Thirteen about songs she loved back in the day but is embarrassed to admit to now. She tagged me and I admit I wasn't going to do it, but then all the names of songs and memories started flowing.

I had quite a list, and had to narrow it down to these 13. Mostly, I'm not embarrassed about loving these songs then or now, but most of the embarrassment comes from the image of me singing them over and over and over again, and who I was heart broken over at the time.

1. More then Words [Extreme] Oh yea... don't tell me, SHOW me you love me. And to think, MEN sang this song! Who knew they knew that love was more then words. Oh wait, I forgot.... it's not just words, it's SEX.
   
2. Sailing [Christopher Cross] Takes you away, don't it?
3. Total Eclipse of the Heart [Bonnie Tyler] You know you know every single word too. Well except maybe that one part about something something the end of the night, something something something, more, I really need your tonight...
4. You're the Inspiration [Chicago] So young I was, and yet so sappy already
5. Everything I Do [Bryan Adams] CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED to this one. This was my James' song. (What? didn't you have a song for every boy you liked? and the moment you hear it, it takes you back to your bedroom while you sang the song over and over again, occasionally shedding a tear?)
6. Right Here Waiting [Richard Marx] My first concert. I can see it now, the lights go out, a blue spotlight comes on in the middle of the stage, this song starts to play, and there he is, Richard Marx at a grand piano, rising from the middle of the stage. Do you see it too?
7. All That She Wants [Ace of Base] So many people seemed to hate Ace of Base, but not I. I was hooked so fast. I don't know if its the ABBA like group make up, or if I'm just a sucker for a catchy toon.
8. Make It Real [The Jets] And this was Rob's song. A completely unrequited crush in 8th grade (who of course then went out with my best friend in high school)
9. Hold On [Wilson Phillips] Wilson Phillips opened for Richard Marx at my first concert. This was an inspirational song, for those HARD early teen years.
10. BFrom A Distance [Bette Midler] I love Bette, and no I'm not ashamed to admit it, I love Miss Streisand too. I am apparently a gay man at heart.
11. From This Moment On [Shania Twain & Bryan White] Sappy, Money making wedding song. I hate it when songs are obviously purposely produced to be money making wedding songs. Yet, I still totally fell for this song and used to belt it out in the car.
12. I'll Be Loving You (Forever) [New Kids on the Block] High pitched, pre-puberty, boy seeing about loving you forever. Like he knows! But can't you hear the feeling and pain in his voice? I know I did! I LOVE YOU JOEY!
    
13. I Adore Mi Amor [Color Me Badd] OH YEA I WENT THERE! Do you see the Green, Yellow and Black block colored shorts, and the funny hair? The use of the sexy French words made this one come up above their other hit "I Wanna Sex You Up!"

Apparently I can't count, because even my shortened list ended up being 16 long so I had to still delete a few more. So many memorable songs. So many embarrassing crushes. I truly do pair years of my life, with who I was with/liked or had a crush on, and the songs I secretly sang to them.

Penguins

My brother pointed me to an online game called Spaced Penguins*. Apparently, there is a Christian cartoon called 3-2-1 Penguins! about two young kids and four "out-of-this-world" penguins, exploring the galaxy while learning important, Bible-based lessons and values along the way. It is produced/distributed by the same people that do Veggietales, BigIdea.

Yes, yes, yes. It sounds very "nice" and for little kids, but this game is so fun. They have a number of games on the site for different aged kids with characters from 3-2-1 Penguins!, VeggieTales and LarryBoy (apparently another wholesome video), but Spaced Penguins is by far my favorite, and probably the most difficult. You have to slingshot one of the penguins through space to get him back to his ship. Some rounds there are planets in the way so you have to account for their gravitational pull to get him around the obstacles (the bigger the planet, the greater to gravity). The goal is to not only safely get the penguin to the ship, but to also take the longest route (so getting stuck in an orbit is a good thing as long as he will eventually collide with the ship). Your score is calculated thusly:

Distance taken to get to the ship x Level# / # of tries = Score

Try it out, or have your kids try it out. You might get hooked (so don't try it at work). E was playing it until 11pm last night.


* Macromedia Flash and ActiveX controls are required to play

Weekend in Review

Since I started this blog as a public journal (why people want to journal publicly I still don't totally know), I suppose I should jot down some updates from the weekend, instead of focusing only on the weekday (per J's example). Don't worry, next time I'll try to be more brief.

Last week I left you with the woes of home projects. Luckily this weekend included none of those!

Friday night...
I started the weekend off right with an evening with my friend Liz, where we got our piggies all done up at a new nail salon that opened up by her house. Much fancier then any I had been too. I don't get pedicures often enough to know the industry standard, but this place was the first where I experienced the Pedi-spa massage chair. Imagine a warm whirlpool spa for your tootsies, and a loungy massage chair for your achin back. They were a little understaffed for the walk-in crowd, but we simply got some dinner, and then came back. I think they did a pretty good job (although there was an action/suspense movie playing on their plasma TVs which wasn't so relaxing). More over, it was fun to relax and chat, plus the price was right ($20 plus a 20% discount - don't know where the discount came from, but I'll take it!).

Saturday...
On Saturday morning, we totally slept in (Ahhhh!), and then the HOA recommended plumber came to give us an estimate for the new water heater and replacing the main shutoff valve and hose bib. He was VERY fast, he was in and out and I had a very reasonable estimate in my hand (HE's HIRED!). Later in the day I went to get my hair done, but the silly appointment making people didn't schedule me for highlights, so I just got a cut. Cheaper, but not what I was hoping for. I waited 2 months to get a Saturday afternoon spot with my girl, and now I have to go back on a weeknight to get the highlights. Grrr. But she did a great job. And she is very careful to get everything right. She styled it, and played with a bunch of products to find what would work well with my finicky hair (taking into account what I already had at home - she wants to get product sales, but is very honest and reasonable). So now... I have BANGS! Long bangs, the kind that sweep to one side. I've had them before (after J got them because I want to be her), but then I let them grow out. And now they are back, a little different, and I think more fun.

That night we putz about, did laundry and some general neatening and grocery shopping. I chatted with my buddy Jon who was in town visiting family and we made plans for Sunday. Then I made the ultimate dinner (which I had never had before but have fantasized about), Fondue. I baked off some really nice sourdough, and steamed broccoli, and made fondue with garlic, beer, water, lemon juice, Emmentaler, Fontina, and random leftover cheeses. It was very nice, and I tried to be good and not eat too much. We enjoyed the CHEEEEESE and munchies while we watched Ice Age (slow beginning, but still made me cry at the end). I didn't know anything about the movie before we watched it, so it was a surprise.

Sunday....

Started off with a hike with E and Jon at 8 freakin o'clock in the morning. We hiked a 2 mile loop that E and I used to do daily to keep in shape for Backpacking in Yosemite. It has a number of steep hills, and then a gentle ending through a wooded area. I knew I was out of shape, but golly! My ass, hips and calves are sure sore today. After the hike we met up with Jon's family for a lovely brunch at a local Mexican restaurant, La Pinata. Yummy! Since I had hiked, I splurged and got Chirozo and Eggs. Yummy and not too greasy (but way more chorizo then eggs). I was good and didn't eat it all. It was pretty cheap and the portions were HUGE (let's just say that E couldn't come close to finishing his Carnita Fajitas). My mom came over after lunch, and while I worked on some computer work for her, she and E had some Ice Cream and visited (I like that he visits with my mom). Then we finished the afternoon with a roaring game of Upwords (mom loves the games).

Sounds like a fun day so far but wait! E took a nap and had some work he had to do, so I went to run errands. Among the errands, I needed to go to the mall to get some eye cream. And then the mall sucked me in. First I bought more then eye cream at Origins. And then on my way to Gap to look at jeans, Ann Taylor called to me. I bought a skirt which I love, that was NOT ON SALE. Then on to Gap, where I bought jeans (that don't hug to tight and do not come in at the knees too much just to flare out too far). They aren't perfect per Stacey and Clinton standards, but pretty good for $30 jeans, baby steps (oh and one pair was on sale for $19). I bought many tops but will be taking some back after a fashion show with E. We picked out the colors that really worked the best for me. And then I found an H&M in our mall, they were closing soon so I did the unthinkable of grabbing stuff that was cute, knowing most of it would have to be returned. Only one top survived the cut. I finished the shopping up at Target, and got EVERYTHING on my list. Phew! All that in 2 hours.

I'm saying that was a good weekend (minus not being able to sleep last night). I felt motivated, and didn't get stuck on the couch for extended periods of time.

Next weekend - an all day alternative rock concert in San Jose with some great frieneds, followed by a day of recovery. Maybe I should ask for Monday off now?

Joys of the Window Salesman

One of our current house projects is to replace the windows. About a year ago, I called a local company that I used to deliver coffee to in my coffee slinging days. The owner himself came out to do the estimate and was very honest and informative. He told us that the windows that he carries were higher quality then what I would probably want, but he had some install techniques that would bring down the cost. Overall, the price was still too high, so he broke down the project into 2 more manageable projects, but ultimately we decided that we live in a cheaply constructed townhome and we'd rather put more money into the kitchen remodel then the windows.

Since we would like to replace the AC this summer, we thought we'd dig up the window project again because what is the point of a new AC unit, if the windows are letting in so much heat. I contacted a contractor finding service to give me the names of some reputable companies. They sent me information on 3 companies. One of them contacted me the same day, and we set up an appointment for an estimator to come out the next day (yesterday). While on the phone with this company, I told them that I was looking for low budget windows and the lady said they were actually much more high quality, but she suggested that for my comparison shopping I should have some estimates from a variety of quality levels. So I went ahead and booked the appointment.

The guy was 30 minutes early, which was fine. He was VERY friendly and informative. He was rather disorganized though, and we were his last call of the day so he was obviously tired. He went through his pitch, and about 45 minutes later he took measurements and wrote up the numbers. Since I had already had an estimate with a comparable company, I was prepared for a high number, and one that I wasn't ready to pay (still didn't rob a bank yet). The estimate was $12,100 with a 20% discount, for 5 windows and a patio door. They offered an awesome financing agreement with 0% interest for 12 months with 0% down.

He excused himself to call his wife (we had already heard his sob story about his time being worth a lot because he has a kid who needs a quality education and that's why he does this for a living, blah blah blah, needs more time with his kid and his wife, lives in Brentwood, cry me a river already! Eric and I agreed that the windows were beautiful, and the piece of mind of the 10 year transferable warranty was great, but we needed to evaluate the budget because we didn't estimate that much freakin money!

When the sales dude came back, he asked what we thought. I said that the financing option sounded really nice. Suddenly he was on the phone with the creditors and then handed me the phone to start my application. And I was like... WHOA! I said it sounded nice, not that I wanted to do it. And then the weight of his life and his day fell on our kitchen table. He takes the phone from me and tells the nice lady, "Nevermind, she doesn't want it anymore." And then he glares at me. Tells me he doesn't understand why I wouldn't want to buy them if I like them. He starts getting really kurt and angry. I thought he might start crying or yelling, or both. I told him that I'd like some time to think about it, because it was more then what we were wanting to spend. He said he'd give us until next Tuesday to get all the discounts, because he likes us (my ASS, it said right there on the paper from corporate that those numbers were good until next Tuesday). I said that if we decided to work with him, that we'd give him a call. And he said..."But then I'll still have to come back out here and spend more time writing it up, when I could just do it right now". (Soooo loosing points, and decreasing the likelihood that I wanted to give him the freakin sale!) He kept saying he didn't understand, and he quickly packed up all of his shit and scooted out of there. I almost yelled at him to get out of my house (which I did say after he was in his truck).

Even 2 hours later, I would randomly yell... THAT MAN! His sales technique did not bode well for me wanting to call him back. You'd think that after 15 years of him being in that business, that he'd learn that some sales calls do not sign on the first visit, and that getting angry with them does not increase his odds of signing the job later or gaining referrals. We are still considering calling the ASS man back (thanks Dot for your ASS term), but maybe not doing the whole job with him. We might cheapen out on the patio door install (his quote was $6500 for that door alone).

I love being a homeowner. (I know its been 3 posts in a row about the house. Hopefully something non-house related will happen this weekend so I can break the bitch routine)

Fun of home ownership

I am truly happy to be a home owner, even if I own a shared-wall townhome in a crappy area with 250+ units, who's HOA spends upwards of $110k every year on landscape and pool maintenance, while there are freakin weeds growing on the roofs due to poor drainage and tree debris decomposing and giving the weeds a healthy soil in which to sprout! - oh yea and about 20% of the attached shed roofs are leaking and have been for the last year and the management continues to put notices in the monthly newsletters that they are still accepting estimates to replace the roofs. Accept one and fix the shit already before the water damage of the sheds, rot out the wall of the kitchens they are attached to and puts people out of their homes. (ok, I got that out)

This past long weekend, we were chatting with our shared-wall neighbors about water damage from both of our various water leaking issues. We contacted each other this weekend because we both noticed some water in our shared-wall sheds, which house the water heaters. We had a little water on our side, so I thought it was our drippy main shut-off valve (which I've avoided replacing), and they thought it was the same since they knew I had been avoiding it. Once we each got all of our stuff out of our sheds, we found the real damage and cause. Their water heater is leaking. Joy that I don't have to take immediate action, but SUCKY, because both of our shed's drywall is wet and moldy. Unfortunately I cannot pin our drywall repairs on the neighbor, as we have both had our own water problems and there is evidence of previous owners having similar issues and them painting over the mold to hide it, so we knew we had to take care of our own mold issues. Freakin previous owners.

The boys (E & neighbor dude) started the task of removing the moldy drywall. What fun it is to be a boy. I went upstairs to the computer to start researching plumbers and prices of water heaters, because if we (I'll help eventually) are going to do all of this work making the drywall all pretty again, then I don't want to run the risk of our water heater deciding to fail a week later. It's 16 years old now, and way inefficient (doesn't help that it's outside!), so I have been thinking of replacing it soon anyway. I'll get that done along with fixing the leaky main shut-off and a hose bib against the house.

Neighbor dude got his water heater replaced yesterday, and sadly, the set-up we all have is not to code (they were sitting on the ground), so they had to pay to have a platform put in, and new vent ducting, and then of course the old connections no longer reached so all new copper was put in. I looked at the work he had done, and it don't look pretty. He wasn't expecting so much labor, so he was annoyed (home warranty only paid for the hot water heater). But now I know what to expect. Sigh.

Along with the plumbing repairs and new water heater project, the other 2 big ticket items that I want done before the true Northern California heat gets here, is a new air conditioner compressor unit (that boxy thing that goes outside), and new windows. No, I'm not loaded, nor did I recently win the lottery or rob a bank, but these are things that need to be done soon, so why not now. There is no way I will ever have enough cash on hand to take care of all that needs taking care of in that house, so I might as well support the creditors and live a little more comfortably.

The first window company comes out tonight to give us an estimate. Weeeee