Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Milestone day

Today is a day which will be marked on the calendar. Ok, maybe it won't be because it depresses me a little even as I try to look at the upside to it.

Today I am reminded I am older.
I am no longer dealing with teen angst... much.
I am not afraid of the bullies.... much.
I am able to go to the store and buy what I want... mostly....on credit.... but I don't because I also know the difference between need and want.
I am wiser.
I am stronger.
I am a little bigger too... but we're trying to stick to the positives here.
I don't care as much about wearing the perfect outfit so the cute boy behind me mind notice me.
I've accepted I have straight hair and no longer feel the need to put chemicals in it to change it's structure so it frizzes out instead of laying all shiny and straight.
I have accepted that I am no longer a size 0-2, even if I haven't quite accepted my current size.
I like that I can't see my ribs anymore because that was kinda gross.
I make pretty decent money without getting up at 4am to throw papers at people's houses.
I have learned that being treated badly by a man is NOT OK! and there are other fish in the sea!
I own stuff.
I have found my own voice and use it regularly.
I may not still regularly speak to my friends from my childhood but I have surrounded myself with who I feel are life long friends.
I've accepted it is ok to loose touch.

So even though I am reminded about all of these GOOD things at this point in my life (plus more but my wrists are starting to say we've had just about enough typing for the moment), today is a milestone day which depresses me a little because....

It's too soon! It's just too soon!
I also have dark dark brown hair and this hair is white white white and kinky and right in my part on top of my head.

sigh... so much for not caring so much about my hair.

Monday, March 02, 2009

44 Meme

Because I haven't written anything but sad medical crap for a while now, I thought I'd take J's prompting from her meme post today and follow through with completing it myself.

44 Things about me!

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Indeedy I do. Maytag Blue is my favorite. Really creamy.

2. Have you ever been drunk?
I have, although not recently. For some reason I decide to drink the most at company parties. I guess FREE is a big thing for me so I feel the need to partake. Good thing the company doesn't throw parties anymore. Upside of the recession?

3. Do you own a gun?
That would be a BIG NO!

4. What flavor of Kool-Aid was your favorite?
Fruit Punch or Cherry

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Usually no, but lately yes.

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Hot Cocoa, Hot Water or Vente Non-Fat Sugar-Free Hazelnut Steamer, thank you very much!

9. Can you do push ups?
Yes, but no to the pull ups. And actually at the moment I can do neither due to the wrist issues.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
Wedding/Engagement Ring. It sparkles real pretty.

11. Favorite hobby?
hands down... BAKING!

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
YES! Not diagnosed but I think it is pretty obvious.

13. What’s your favorite shoe?
I have these pair of sandals with a chunky 2 inch heal and stretchy strappy upper which I LOVE but am afraid this will be their last year. I don't have many shoes because my feet have issues and when I find shoes that are comfortable, I wear them until they fall apart. Such is the reason I am usually in highly unfashionable running shoes.

14. Middle name?
Rebecca -- and I LOVE IT!

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
My hands/wrists hurt
I probably shouldn't be typing this right now
Why is there only one more thin mint sitting in front of me?

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Water, Milk, Hot Cocoa (which is mostly milk... right?)

17. Current worry?
What am I going to wear this weekend to Starshine's play?

18. Current hate right now?
anything having to do with our flooring at home.... ok and also the perpetually moldy caulking in the corners of our tub/shower which needs to be stripped out and redone. Yea I know... gross!

19. Um, where did 19 go?
After reading this Meme a few times I am going with the same assumption as everyone else and talk about when I was 19. 19 went down the toilet with working at a burger joint, dating an abusive guy, calling off an engagement and going to community college not being able to figure out what is it that I wanted to do when I grew up. BTW - that abusive guy ended up with an abusive girl and later called to apologize.

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
Celebrated Julie's birthday with friends, a yummy dinner and fun games.

21. Where would you like to go?
Anywhere I can use my passport. But mostly right now I want to go home.

22. Name three people who will complete this?

23. Do you own slippers?
I do but I don't wear them.

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
Black although I'm also still wearing my big puffy down jacket over it.

25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets?
Nah. I love jersey knit cotton or other natural fiber. currently on the bed are Beech sheets.

26. Can you whistle?
I like to think I can, but not when compared to people who REALLY can.

27. Favorite color?
All my life it has been BLUE, but greens are starting to work their way in.

28. Would you be a pirate?
uh... doubtful. I'm too much of a rule follower (except for the speed limit)

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't really know of any specific songs and it doesn't happen that often. I know Christmas songs and other Churchy related songs creep into my head during those quiet times. Mostly I'm just trying to get out of the shower quickly so as not to waste water.

30. Favorite Girl’s Name?
Kaitlyn - and no we won't be using it because guy from #19 used it.. BASTARD!

31. Favorite boy’s name?
Benjamin - also won't be using it for other reasons.

32. What’s in your pocket right now?

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Co-worker talking about how his wife spent $380 on 2 pairs of jeans and other co-worker said, "but just think of how hot she'll look while you are eating Top Ramen when you are both laid off in a few months."

34. Best bed sheets as a child?
The only sheets I really remember were these ones with Rainbow Brite on them which I never understood why my mom bought them because I didn't even like Rainbow Brite and I was too old at the time for character sheets. These also happen to be the sheets I got for Christmas one year (yea, sheets for Christmas... WOO!) but I found the receipts and tags in the trash and was SO BUMMED and ungrateful that I do believe I cried to my mom about them who was furious. Yea... that whole story is probably why remember those sheets.

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had as a child?
Dislocated my elbow, chipped bone and broke nerves while doing an Aerial in gymnastics. I landed the trick but managed to do all of that damage in the air. Never felt a thing due to the broken nerves but was in the hospital for weeks and was scared most of the time.

36. Do you love where you live?

38. Who is your loudest friend?
Hmmm.... probably Michelle although I haven't seen her for years I still consider her a good friend. I think she'd agree.

39. How many dogs do you have?
None. although I have 2 cat's which Dot refers to as dogs.

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
Yes and I share a bed and last name with him. HOT!

41. What is your favorite book?
Tough one. I don't read much but if I finish a book it's generally because I loved it.

42. What is your favorite candy?
OH man this one is tough because I admit to loving candy. I'll name a few:
Giant Chewy Sweettarts
See's Butterscotch Suckers
See's Milk Bordeaux
See's Butterscotch Square
Peanut butter cups

43. Favorite Sports Team?

44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Uhhh....something kinda cheerful and pretty please.