Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Is that my man?

On Sunday our friends, A & A, invited us along with another couple to their friends' house to hang out and brew up some beer. A & A have this knack of meeting people at random events and locations and becoming great friends. This really amazes me, because I tend to only meet friends through other friends or work.

This new couple that we met, let's call them "Soon-to-Be Mr & Mrs Brew", are very into making homemade beer so they are making a special beer for their wedding favors. How cool are they! They put a lot of thought into the brew, making a complex, fruity, deep, rich, flavorful medium bodied dessert porter to be sipped. A lot of meaning and love was put into the creation of the recipe and the brew itself. Think chocolate, vanilla & cherry, with enough hops to cut the sweetness. We tried some of the test batch and it was really amazing.

So Mr & Mrs Brew are also really into music. They have a recoding studio set up with a drum set, keyboard, multiple guitars, a bass and everything is all mic'd up for recording. Eric's eyes lit up when we were touring their house. After the brew had started its brewin', all the musicians in the house started jammin'. I was outside and just heard them playing, having no idea who was doing what. When someone said to me, "Eric is great!". I responded with, "That's Eric? My Eric?"

After almost 6 years together, I had never heard him really play. He moved to CA with his acoustic, which he's played a little from time to time, but usually just trying to remember a song from college, never really playing all out. The acoustic has been in the closet for the last 2 years at least. He just bought an electric last week so he could jam with Ted, but when he's at home he never has the amp turned on without headphones, so I just hear the "ping ping ping" of the unamplified strings.

Although incredibly proud hearing his talent and having people be so impressed by him, I was also left with a feeling of, who is that guy? Do I know him? What else about him do I not know after these few years together?

I knew a few weeks ago when we first went into a Guitar Center together, that this was a part of his world that I was not going to be apart of, and it was uncomfortable. I know its healthy to have our own lives, and I certainly have mine but I have lived here all of my life. I have my friends, and my hobbies, and my work. Whereas, he moved here with only a small part of his world, most of his friends are my friends too, and I've been with him has he has grown his knowledge and love for his landscaping business. This guitar, rock band, thing? Totally foreign to me. He has been encouraging me to pick something up to be able to "jam" too so we can do it together, but it just feels like he needs to have something just for him.

I completely encouraged the buying of the guitar. I want him to have something in his life that is not related to work and will get him out of the house to hang out with friends without me. He is never able to stop working, because he is always thinking about plants and design, and invoicing, and money. He needs friends. He needs hobbies. He needs a life outside of me.

Argh, I hate when my head knows stuff, but my heart is so not listening.


J said...

Ted's music is also a foreign world to me...but if they get famous someday, we can totally go hang at the concerts! Fun!

Ted wrote on his blog recently that he would like to learn to fly a plane before he dies. Here I thought I knew everything about him, we've been together for almost 19 years, and I didn't know that. Amazing.

The beer thing sounds VERY cool. Hope you guys get an invite to the wedding. Might be some cool new friends there waiting to meet you.

laluna said...

I know Ted is really excited about jamming with Eric. He took Chee with him this weekend to practice. She sang while he played. They had plenty of fun. It is too bad Big sis doesn't go too. Do you sing? You could sing along while he practices at home.

Autumn's Mom said...

Or play a tamborine. Can you play the tamborine?

No seriously said...

I don't see what the big deal is with Eric having something that you are not a part of. It's good to spend time apart from each other once in a while.

Your heart doesn't have to hurt.

Gina said...

Yes, you and J could totally be groupies together!

It is hard sometimes to have the other person go in a direction that is totally unfamiliar to you, but it is so very good for a relationship to have outside interests. As you know.

And I think we never really know everything about our partners, even if we like to think that we do.