Monday, January 07, 2008

The Waiting Game

I stayed home again today (well I was planning on working from home today anyway, so nothing was really different except I spent the day sleeping instead of working). Interesting globs of stuff are still exiting my head except now I can breath again! The weight is pretty much off my chest and I can breath without the drugs. I'm still taking the drugs though because I can breath even better with them. I do not want a relapse, so I'll continue the same routine of meds, sinus rinses and breathing deeply over hot water (or in the shower) for at least another week. The energy isn't totally back, but it's enough to get out without feeling weak, so I'll be back in the office tomorrow, and funny enough... I'm actually looking forward to it. Enough of this house bound business.

As already scheduled, I got out of the house this afternoon to see my doctor. Not a doctor for my phlegmy nose/chest business, but a doctor for my lady business (tee hee, I said lady business). This was another post-op appointment to check in on how things are healing up since my surgery in August. My doctor is VERY pregnant now, and will be going on leave next month, so she wanted to see me before she left to talk about the next steps and to see how things are healing up.

After pushing and poking around, she's decided that there is some scar tissue, but mostly things are looking good. She asked if we had been talking about timing for trying to conceive, and I said we were pretty much waiting on her to say it was ok. She laughed, but really that is what we are waiting on because we have to get going before more fibroids grow.

Before we left, she did an ultrasound and found ANOTHER fibroid. She wasn't at all concerned about it effecting conception as it was small, 3 cm and its location looked good. Of course I'm thinking that the 2 she removed were only 3 cm at one point too, and it's obviously growing since they didn't see it 4 months ago! In June, we'll do a more detailed ultrasound and an HSG test to see if the ol'tubes are working. She's hoping that after seeing how those tests go she can give us the thumbs up, but still wants us to wait until August to give the old baby house some more time to heal and the scar tissue to loosen up.

For now I'm trying not to think too much about it, because my normal tendency is to think and think and analyze and freak out mostly about what I don't know yet. Plus, I can't really do anything about it, so I'm putting it back there on the back burner to just hang out until we can learn more in 6 months (6 freakin' months).

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Have a Glass and Blow it Out Your ...

Thanks to the drugs and my sinus rinse, I can breath today and the coughing episodes are far fewer and more productive (TMI? and the worst part of being sick if I do say so myself).

Many of you mentioned that you've had great success with Mucinex. Well seeing as we're cheap, we got the generic version, which is the same drug that my doctor prescribed the last time I had a bad sinus infection that made its way to my chest. The main difference is that Mucinex is time released and the other stuff isn't. Which just means I take the other stuff more often, which is fine since I've been mostly sleeping through the night anyway.

I noted up there and other here that I've been using a Sinus Rinse as well. It's the squeeze bottle version of a neti pot, which is used to flush your sinuses with water or a saline solution. I know J of JellyJules.com thinks this is gross, but it really is awesome. The actual act of using it is not all that awesome but the results are well worth the few moments of discomfort, the occasional gagging when the saline hits the back of your throat, and watching the "fun stuff" come flying out your nose . And since J gets pretty bad sinus headaches, I really wish she'd try it. Come on J... try it! Be one with your snot!

My husband swears by it, and anytime I feel a sinus infection coming on I pull it out. I admit this time I probably used it a few days too late as the infection got into my lungs, but I know it has sped up my recovery and gives my red raw nose a break from the blowing, so it can heal a little. BTW - does anyone have any remedies for the red raw nose? I've been using lotions and lip balms but they sting a lot, and its looking pretty gnarley.

Today Eric joined up with some friends to help move furniture around their house and out of storage to get the nursery, new home office and new laundry room ready for an expected new member of our family of friends. I couldn't go as I didn't want to get mama-to-be sick. I did have a lot more energy today though, so my usual Sunday chores of the bathroom, laundry and house hold finances got a quick little whoopin'.

I even felt up to going out baby shower shopping when Eric returned. Granted, about half way through walking around the Mega Mart of Baby goods (aka Babies R Us), I felt like I was being pulled down to the ground. I tried to get Eric to look at all of the fun and overwhelming amount of baby goods, and he bought into it for about 10 minutes and then he was done and just wanted to get the items we decided on, and get out. We got out of there quicker then any trip I've ever taken there and only went over our pre-determined baby gift budget by 58 cents, not bad!

We got home and realized I was starving for the first time in days. I had planned on making Mushroom risotto for New Years but didn't feel up to it, so I pulled out all of the prep I had already done and got started on it. The recipe required 1 cup of white wine, and I had 2 open bottles in the fridge so I tasted them to see which was the driest, and measured out my cup. There was a tad left in the bottle, so I pulled out a wine glass and emptied the bottle (I wouldn't want to put that tiny bit in the fridge!). I needed something to snack on with my wine, so I took out a baby bel snack cheese wheel (its a small 1 oz serving of really rich semi-soft cheese that has been dipped in wax... they're so cute!). I guess I was definitely starting to feel better because I've done chores, I've shopped, and now I was cooking AND drinking wine.

As I'm stirring my risotto, sipping the leftover wine and nibbling on my cheese, I'm feeling pretty good by this time and then I realize just HOW GOOD I'm feeling! WHOA! I'm assuming it was the residual cold meds plus a little vino on an empty stomach and I suddenly feel like lead. Forget this risotto business, I want to go to bed RIGHT NOW because I bet I would get the best sleep ever! But no, I must finish this risotto as I've been wanting to make this recipe for a long time and I've already have the expensive Porcini, Oyster and the not as expensive Crimini Mushrooms invested in this dish.

The risotto turned out pretty tasty, although I know I still couldn't taste the complexity of the flavors. There were roasted and sauteed fresh mushrooms and reconstituted dry mushrooms in the dish. There was an herb steeped broth, and tasty white wine. It was finished off with a pat of butter, good Parmesano Reggiano and fresh parsley. All of that work, and all I could really taste were the high notes of the wine, so it tasted acidic to me. Eric said it was deep and complex and tasty. I'll have to take his word for it though. Sigh.

So I guess I'm feeling better, as the energy is coming back and I actually wanted to get into the kitchen tonight. Oh sure, feeling better just in time for Monday to roll around. Yipee!

and so it continues

All you parents out there, I tip my hat! Well I do in general, but today I have no idea how you can parent when you're sick. I'm still blowing, and coughing, and drinking all the liquids I can handle. I'm basically feeling like a big baby all curled up in blankies on the couch with my cup of hot water. I can't imagine feeling this way and having a little person depending on me.

My wonderful husband went out again today to pick up drugs to loosen up the fun stuff in my lungs (because what we had of that stuff expired a few years ago. Which I guess is a good thing because that means no one has been THAT sick for a while). I am feeling better though, and trying to keep my germies away from Eric because when he gets sinus infections, doctors get involved that want to perform surgeries on his head. He said he is sort of enjoying this time, because usually I'm forcefully self sufficient and he enjoys getting to do things for me and feeling needed. How much does he rock?

Anywho - life still continues while being sick. Well I'm sure someones life is continuing, but mine has been full of an uncomfortable amount of television watching and dozing throughout the day.

I'm determined to get out of the house tomorrow to do some baby shower shopping. One of the best parts of having a friend get pregnant, is getting to buy cute little baby stuff! If I don't get out, at least I hope I have something a tad more interesting to write about... unless you want to hear about the joys of the Sinus Rinse.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Looking like Rudolf's distant cousin

On Monday we went to see a movie (a rare occurrence for us), and about half way through my throat was killing me. I thought I was just really thirsty from the popcorn so I drank a ton of water, but it didn't help. The next 2 days the throat continued to burn... and then the cough started up. Yesterday I was feeling ok and even had dinner with some of my girlfriends a few of you might know, Autumn's Mom, J and Tommy's (and Caroline's) Mommy. I got home and dutifully did my new back and neck exercises which pretty much just pissed off my back and neck. I went to bed starting to feel a little congested and between the back and neck pain and now congestion, I got little sleep. Plus Eric was experiencing muscle cramps from a late night climbing session so he was tossing and turning through the night. Just about anytime I fell asleep, he rustled about. ARGH!

Sometime in the early morning I laid there trying to decide if I should email work now, or just see if another hour would do me well enough. I did get a good hour of sleep in after I got Eric to get up and walk around to help out his cramping. But even with that hour I stayed home sick today, which I don't like to do but with so little sleep and now feeling the weight of a full blown cold, I thought it would be better to go back to bed. So to bed I went.

At one point I dug through any cold medicine I could find, and found that most of the pills expired in 2003, so out they went. The only newish drugs we had only covered some of my symptoms, so this evening Eric went out to stock up on soft Kleenex for my poor red nose and better drugs (still waiting for them to kick in).

While he was out he also picked up some junk food, Panda Express. I was a little hungry but couldn't taste much so I wanted something spicy. My parents even came over with a fresh pot of chicken soup but it just wasn't hitting the spot. I ended up putting chili sauce all over my veggies because they had no taste, and I think everything else was tasty, because my mouth was burning from the spice but that was all I could really taste.

Today a storm came through that caused messy roads, uprooted trees and power outages all over the area. It ended up being an ok day to be feeling crappy, but I'm sure ready for it to be over.

You mean I have to actually do it?

I've become very lazy. A little too lazy in fact. I was working out hard before the wedding, was going to see my therapist regularly, and seemed to have things in order and the sun was starting to shine in my day, but then all of that fibroid hub-bub happened and I just slide into a state of whatever. I sort of dealt with depression before, by sort of I mean I admitted I was experiencing something, started a little meditation practice but that was about as far as that got. Well guess what? It doesn't just magically go away.

To boot, I have been prone to back, neck and general joint pain for much of my life, and when you hurt for a long time, you just sort of become passive about it except when it flares up (I suppose emotional stuff is the same). While I was sitting on my butt recovering, I slouched a lot. I had a hard time finding positions to sit and lay down in with the incisions, so I wasn't very kind to my spine and it told me about it. Even with seeing a massage therapist every other week, my back and neck continue to tell me all about it.

I used to see a chiropractor for many years, but found that my pain was never really getting better, and I was only gaining short term relief. Yes, yes he'd asked me how much exercising I was doing and if I had reduced my stress, and my usual answer was 'not much' and 'no'. I casually tossed his advice aside because I was young and my body would recover (and I was dumb).

Well, Eric is getting tired of my complaints and me not doing anything about my pain, so I FINALLY saw a doctor and asked for a referral to Physical Therapy, and after a long wait my appointment came around this week. (ok, so spousal nagging is needed sometimes!)

Surprise! He said that although I'm very flexible for my age (which I didn't agree with, but whatever, I still think I'm a 10 year old gymnast) that the muscles around my spine and neck are very weak. That the most effective and important thing for me to do is to strengthen them. He gave me a number of ball exercises, I'm to do all the yoga I want (since that seems to help), AND I have to do cardio at least 3 times a week. He said the rock climbing sounds like an excellent activity to build core strength as well, but I have to be aware that I'm not arching my back (I guess I do that more easily then keeping it straight which is how he thinks I tweaked the muscles in my back).

Even though I was all bummed about gaining weight since my surgery, and I'm planning on starting a pact with a friend to no junk eating for at least 30 days, I'm having a tougher time processing that I need to fit in time to work out. But if I want to get in shape, loose weight, and not be in pain anymore, I guess I actually have to get off my duff and work out too. I mean, that is why I joined the gym right? (and no I haven't gone since that first day, but I've been sick - cough cough) Plus, exercise had been the key to keeping depression at bay in the past, so hopefully it'll do the trick again this time. (grumble grumble)

I suppose I should go find that ball now.



Oh and the new template? I was trying out the "easy" changing of the template feature in Blogger, and I forgot to save my old template so I guess I am stuck with this one until I have time to muck around with the code. As a warning to any other Blogger user who wants to play with their template... there is a bug right now that errors if you try to edit the template via the "Edit Template" section. So the only changes you can make are with the widgets and applying the stock templates. Weee!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Looking for sparkles in white

Oh my, I forgot to mention in my last post that I got to go Wedding Dress shopping last weekend!

My very good friend, Amy, is getting married in September, and she asked me to join her and her best friend from college to go look at the 2 dresses she narrowed down to after her shopping trips with her mom over Christmas. We didn't find one of the dresses, but no bother because the other one was PERFECT! Amy was a great sport and also tried on other dresses we pulled for her, even though in her heart she already knew. They say you know it when you see it, and she did.

It brought back memories of my planning this past year, but Amy is far more organized and knew exactly what she was looking for. It was a great little afternoon of giggles and ideas and sharing stories.

I wish I could post some of the pictures I took... but Amy occasionally shares my blog with her fiancé and we can't have him see a hint!

Congratulations Amy, you are gorgeous and we can't wait to see you and your love joined together.

Last week of 2007 update

Huh? What do you mean I didn't post anything about Christmas? What? I haven't posted anything for a week? You've barely heard anything from me this month?

Well we can't have that, now can we?

So I guess we're in for another quick update-a-roo!

Christmas
This is our first Christmas where we didn't go anywhere, and hence our first Christmas tree, and OUR first Christmas with my parents. Well I think so anyway. Most of the last 7 Christmases, Eric and I have either been apart, or on the East Coast with his family for Christmas, and one year we went to Canada to visit my brother and sister-in-law. I have been craving to build our own Christmas Traditions, but Eric really just wants to be with his family. Neither of us put much effort into this holiday to make it special though, so I can't expect miracles.

We agreed to no gifts with the siblings and between ourselves, and only to give to the kids in the family. My brother still had a DVD shipped to us, but I'm not sure if the coding will work in our player as its from the UK (anyone know?). My mom gave us a box of See's chocolate which I have been promptly making disappear, usually around breakfast time the craving hits me.

On Christmas day I cooked dinner and my parents came over to eat. I made Prime Rib for my father, a lovely salad for Eric which was also supposed to be special for my mom, but I failed to remember to put in the freshly roasted beets which she loves (and they are still sitting at the back of the fridge where I put them to cool). I also made Yorkshire pudding which was a first for all of us. If you've never had it, Eric came up with a great description, Meat Doughnuts. Mmmm batter fried in beef fat! I roasted up some Broccoli and Garlicky Potatoes (separate dishes), and finished off with a rather un-traditional Christmas dessert of Strawberry Shortcake. My father only cares for 2 desserts, Lemon Custard Pie and Strawberry Shortcake, and since some lovely Florida strawberries were in the store, shortcake it was. Unfortunately, I forgot my mom can't have strawberries due to her diverticulitis, so she got seedless Strawberry Jam on her's.

Most meals with my parents are a little stressful, at least I find them to be. But who knows, maybe it's just me being super sensitive to any tension in the air when they are concerned and I just can't relax. Hell, I probably put that tension in the air. The bickering was at a minimum this particular meal though. I'm pretty sure my mom caught my pleading stare when my father started going on about his cough and how he stopped taking his Blood Pressure medication because it gives him the cough which keeps him from singing, or sleeping and therefore he can't enjoy life. This complaint comes up just about every time he has us as a captive audience, and every time I ask him to call his doctor who will adjust his medication, but nooooo he has now just decided to stop taking the medication instead. Usually my mom voices her frustration about this continuing complaint, and then things get uncomfortable, and bickering proceeds. But this time, she made a few little comments and didn't push and the subject was able to be changed. So thank you mom!

I'm hoping after we have kids, that this time of year will become the magical time I remember it being. But I guess if I want it to be special, I have to get off my duff and do something about it. Maybe next year.


New Hobby!
Eric and I have been talking about checking out a climbing gym, and this weekend we finally did it. We knew they would get a rush of new people starting in the new year, so since we said we'd do it this year, we went this weekend.
It was a blast! I suck at it, but I still had a good time. Eric has strong arms due to his work, and he has climbed in gyms and outdoors before so he was able to scamper up those walls pretty easily. He kept wanting to push himself so he kept choosing harder and harder routes, which gave me some practice in belaying and catching him when he would fall. I simply couldn't get it through my head that if I fell it was ok because the rope and Eric would catch me, so I played it really safe and stayed on the easy routes. I discovered I am afraid of heights though and would consistently freak out at the same height on the walls. Only once did I make it past that point and on to the top, and that was sure will because I was totally freaking out. I'm also grossly out of shape, and my upper body strength is even worse then I thought. I'm a tad sore today, but Eric is even more sore.. tee hee!
As we always do when we get excited about something, we jump in head first and usually that means we jump in with our wallets. After one single go, we joined the gym, bought shoes, harnesses and the whole get up. We did this with snowboarding too, and we haven't been boarding for years (we say its because of the expense, but somehow we can throw money at other things instead). At least this time, this is an activity where you have to have a partner to belay you, and even though Eric's skill far surpasses mine, the gym offers difficulties that can challenge both of us. No more getting left alone on the mountain. Plus, a month at this gym equals a single day lift ticket, so it seems a little more reasonable.


Umm... let's see, what else?
Tomorrow I have a big goal for myself (us). A day of purging and cleaning out closets. Clothing, crap, stuff, and junk closets. Just like we did when we were kids, we have, on more then one occasion, just shoved stuff in a closet or two when company was coming over. Do that a few times and you loose the floor, and then you loose stuff, and then you start re-buying stuff you thought you lost, and then you loose the floors in a different closet. So as not to overwhelm myself, I'm going to start with my clothing closet as I haven't seen the floor in there for at least 6 months.

I'd also like to put together a list of goals for the year. Not so much resolutions, but just some things I'd like to do. We'll see if that happens, but I'm not setting my sights too high, because I do indeed hate failure.


Phew... only 2 more minutes until we hit midnight, so I'll wrap up this babbling update and I'd like to wish you all a very Happy New Year!