Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Taking-Care-of-Business-No-Feelings Woman

A few weeks ago, Gina asked about the wedding plans. And then this past weekend Py and J's daughter, Maya, asked if we know where we are going to get married yet and when and what should she wear. And then today I got an email from Eric's cousin's fiance asking if there is any news on our date.

Oh yea, I'm supposed to be planning some big, life milestone event huh? Right. well...

I haven't even gotten to write about the proposal... which happened weeks ago (I even have a picture all ready for the blog). So I have ring, which has it's own story, but for some reason I have not taken the time to write all these stories down. For some reason my brain has gone into matter-of-fact mode. I'm no longer in dreamy fantasy mode since this is all really happening now and I feel that I have to actually do something about it.

When I get stressed and have to take care of something, I turn into taking-care-of-business-no-feelings woman. I make mental and physical checklists, and I forget about the experience and enjoying the journey and it becomes about checking off tasks, getting all the ducks in a row, and honestly I don't like it. Sure, it's more efficient, but do I really want to look back and say... "look at how efficient our life was!" No, I want to be able to remember the joys and the sorrows and have memories and stories.

We are also in a bit of a slump at home right now as I am in some weird half functioning depression, and Eric is struggling with starting a business. Oh yea and we are trying to do house improvement projects in order to sell the place, so we can buy a place closer to my work so we can start some life improvement projects... namely shortening my commute. And all of this takes money, and so do weddings, so eloping sounds grand, but I want the dress and the pictures and the blah blah blah. So everything has just sort of stopped.

Every weekend we say we are going to do this and that, and then magically it's Sunday night and little has been done. Perhaps right now checklists and taking-care-of-business-no-feelings woman are needed to help get us out of this rut.

Hopefully I'll have some news soon, and if not it's ok. We'll get married someday. Maybe Eric will get the Autumn wedding he wants afterall.


J said...

Either way is OK. :) I told Maya she could even wear a pretty dress if you go super casual.

Weddings are great, but a LOT of work to plan, and oh yeah, a lot of money too. Sigh.

py Korry said...

Um...there's a lot going on in your life right now. You have home improvement projects, Eric's start up business, thinking of selling your place, planning a wedding, working, and, well, I can see how you would go into "taking-care-of-business-no-feelings woman" mode when you've got a lot on your plate.

Tracy said...

Hang in there, Cherry, and I can't wait to hear about the proposal and see a pic of the ring!

Maybe "taking-care-of-business-no-feelings woman" and your inner "verbal processor" can get together and talk it all out!

Gina said...

Oh yes, they are so expensive!

Mine was beautiful and done as cheaply as possible, but there is still a little part of me that says, "You could have used that fourteen grand for something else!"

Not very romantic, but true.

As long as you know you're going to get there eventually, don't worry about it, and I promise no more nagging!

ML said...

That's a lot of stuff to have to take care of and very stressful! Things have a way of working out. It'll fall into place.