A few weeks ago, Gina asked about the wedding plans. And then this past weekend Py and J's daughter, Maya, asked if we know where we are going to get married yet and when and what should she wear. And then today I got an email from Eric's cousin's fiance asking if there is any news on our date.
Oh yea, I'm supposed to be planning some big, life milestone event huh? Right. well...
I haven't even gotten to write about the proposal... which happened weeks ago (I even have a picture all ready for the blog). So I have ring, which has it's own story, but for some reason I have not taken the time to write all these stories down. For some reason my brain has gone into matter-of-fact mode. I'm no longer in dreamy fantasy mode since this is all really happening now and I feel that I have to actually do something about it.
When I get stressed and have to take care of something, I turn into taking-care-of-business-no-feelings woman. I make mental and physical checklists, and I forget about the experience and enjoying the journey and it becomes about checking off tasks, getting all the ducks in a row, and honestly I don't like it. Sure, it's more efficient, but do I really want to look back and say... "look at how efficient our life was!" No, I want to be able to remember the joys and the sorrows and have memories and stories.
We are also in a bit of a slump at home right now as I am in some weird half functioning depression, and Eric is struggling with starting a business. Oh yea and we are trying to do house improvement projects in order to sell the place, so we can buy a place closer to my work so we can start some life improvement projects... namely shortening my commute. And all of this takes money, and so do weddings, so eloping sounds grand, but I want the dress and the pictures and the blah blah blah. So everything has just sort of stopped.
Every weekend we say we are going to do this and that, and then magically it's Sunday night and little has been done. Perhaps right now checklists and taking-care-of-business-no-feelings woman are needed to help get us out of this rut.
Hopefully I'll have some news soon, and if not it's ok. We'll get married someday. Maybe Eric will get the Autumn wedding he wants afterall.