32 Scoops with whipped cream, nuts and a cherry!

Each year, the month of August seems to get more and more painful. Usually I stress about what I didn't do, where I'm not in my life, and how much of my youth has gone by without me. I have been living in yesterday, dreading tomorrow and bitching about it the whole time. I have some great friends that listen to the whining, and occasionally throw a slap of reality my way. I come to for a moment of self discovery, and then usually slide back into my world of self-pitty.

No one or thing or action or event is going to change my life, although I keep thinking it will. Those major life events that I have been desperately searching for and living for, are not going to make the sunshine come out and make my world a shining happy place. Only I can turn things around.

I spout off about living in the moment, being mindfull of what you are doing right now. But do I actually practice mindfulness? Not without a LOT of thought. I do it for a few days, and then something else grabs my attention and I go spiraling back down.

For the last few years, my friends have known not to mention my birthday before the day, and to pretend not to hear my sighs and groans when someone mentions it or my age. This year I was again dreading the day, and strangely enough, it's not that bad. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm coming to terms that my "plan" has long been passed up by life.

I "know" in my brain that our plans change that we have to keep making new plans, and that we have to be flexible and adjust to what life throws at us, but its still hurts in my heart. I have to work and live for today. For right now. To make the best of what I have in front of me.

I'm not touting that from this day forward I will be a changed person. But I am going to try a little harder.

Happy Birthday to me!

Birthday buddies and yummies

Yesterday I tried to forget my bitterness of having to work 6 very long days (we're talking getting lucky to see Eric awake), and looked forward to a day of sleeping in, naps, and seeing some friends who I don't get to see nearly enough. Since its hard to get people together, I opted to pull out the birthday card (it wasn't yesterday, but its close enough).

The day started off with sleeping in until 8am, and then laying about until I heard my cell phone ring. With that ring, I knew my friend Amy was up and calling to see when we could get together for brunch. Amy and I used to work together, but she left the high-tech corporate world to start a landscaping design business. She is also very good at keeping contact with friends from college, plus she has a boyfriend, so getting her alone is quite a feat and needs to be scheduled far out in advance. She drove out to my house, and we went to a small neighborhood cafe for a healthy dose of butter, cream, grease and loads of catching up. Mmm Mmm Eggs Benedict.

After brunch, and good-byes, I don't think Amy had even driven away before I was back in bed with kitties curled up around me. I thought Eric would join me for a lazy Sunday cuddle, but if he did, I didn't know it. Around 4:30pm, he woke me up to tell me it was time to get ICE CREAM!Some of our dear friends met us in Oakland for some old fashioned creamery eats and HUGE ice cream sundaes at Fenton's. It was a lot of fun, and we all definitely got our fill of ice cream. Now I'm a huge fan of ice cream, but I go to this place for their caramel sauce. How can I not love a creation that contains my 3 favorite foods; Cream, Butter and Sugar.

They make all of the ice creams and the fudge and caramel sauces on site, in a kitchen where you can watch all the goodness coming together. J and PK's daughter, Maya, and her friend spent a good part of the evening watching the making of many 5 gallon cartons of ice cream (its just so uncool to hang out with adults). And then of course the little man that catches my eye every time I see him, Tman stole the show when the sundaes were delivered and he put out his hand and said "Cherry?". I think he got his fill of cherries that night, because who can resist that smile?Between the good friends, the tasty eats and the naps, it was a great way to celebrate the day I was born.

Check out more pictures of ICE CREAM fun by clicking on my flicker badge over there on the right or here.

Saturday MeMe

J at Thinking About..., tagged me to do this MeMe. I don't know what she was thinking, tagging me on a Saturday when she knows that I'm supposed to be working and she knows that I just can't help myself or control my need to read and post. I feel like I haven't done many MeMe's, maybe 2, and I don't really know why. I love to read them, but I seldom think to write one so here goes:

1. Things that scare me:

• Thinking that I'll never be a mom
• Thinking that we are ruining the earth for future generations
• Idiots who govern our country, other countries, and those that vote/will/or allow them into power

2. People who make me laugh:

• People who can laugh at themselves and put themselves out there to share the humility of life
• My brother - he's rather zanny

3. Things I hate the most:

• Nausea
• Guilt
• Helplessness
  

4. Things I don't understand:

• How some people cannot pick up on their audience's disinterest or non-understanding in what they are continuing to blab on and on about
  
• The idea that one person's beliefs are better then another's
• How I can know one thing but feel/do the opposite
  

5. Things I'm doing right now:

• I'm whistling (and blogging) while I work (on a freakin SATURDAY)
• Drinking tea at noon because I came into work late ON A SATURDAY because I was here until 10pm and opted to stay up late with Eric you know, so I could actually talk to him instead of just nudging him when I've come to bed and then kissing his forehead when I get up
  
• Being bitter and experiencing the discomfort of eating Taco Bell at 11pm last night
  

6. Things I want to do before I die:

• Give birth
• Share at least one story from my life, with my grandchild
  
• Tell my parents I love them
  

7. Things I can do:

• Procrastinate
• Love others
  
• TALK TALK TALK (or chat)
  

8. Things I can't do:

• sit still when I hear music that moves me
• make a decision without consulting at least one person
• keep my own secrets
  

10. Things I think you should listen to:

• Yourself (mind and body)
  
• Children
• the Emergency Broadcast Alert System
  

11.Things you should never listen to:

• Me (unless I am yelling at you to duck, run, jump, or move quickly in anyway)
  
• I wish I could say idiots/politicians/powers that be, but sometimes they say good things too
  

12. Things I'd like to learn:

• how to listen better
  
• how to stress/worry less
  
• how to focus

13. Favorite foods:

• Butter
• Cream
• Sugar
  

14. Beverages I drink regularly:

• Hot Tea
• Water
• Milk
  

15. Shows I watched as a kid:

• Brady Bunch
• Yan Can Cook!
  
• Mr. Wizard's World
  

Friday post about some cat I don't know but gosh darn-it, its cute so HERE!

Sometimes J does a Friday Doggie post, and today her mom, Maya's Granny, did a Friday Cat Blogging post , and the infamous Dooce often posts about her dog on Fridays, as I'm sure many others whom I have yet to discover. Well, gosh darn it, I want to jump on the bandwagon too (it's what I do). But alas, I do not have any recent incredibly cute pictures of my boys, and they haven't done anything especially funny (except maybe when Mousy pee'd on the new memory foam mattress topper thingy which I had just bought and took out of the box. Well the pee'ing wasn't funny, but I'm sure Eric found the site of me amusing, as I was running around after the cat screaming "F@#KER! F@#KER!" at 10 o'clock at night, as he calming stood there and said "He's only a cat. We're the idiots for leaving it on the floor when we knew he likes to pee on stuff like that." Really, I'm not usually one to yell like that, but gosh darn it, my brother and SIL were due to walk in that door at any moment and that mattress topper was meant to make the AeroBed more comfortable for them!)

So anyway. Today as I was working, (yes, working! Someone reported they couldn't get to CNN.com so I had to research the issue which then led me down the unstoppable path of news article surfing) when I came across this article about a cat that walks on its front paws. It made me giggle silently (because I was working afterall), plus there are pictures of cute puppies and kitties which makes it good all around fun, so I thought I'd share.

Click on the picture, and your video player should eventually pop up for some cuteness viewing pleasure (of course you will have to sit through a commercial first). If that doesn't work for you, here is the full article with links to the video. If you melt at the sound of kitten mews, turn up your speakers. mew mew

A side note that amused me: the news crew hung out there for 3 hours waiting for the cat to do its thing. Although I'm sure there work isn't all fun and games, but wouldn't it be fun to hang out at an animal shelter (no kill of course!) all afternoon?

Happy Weekend all!

(enough side comments in parentheses for y'all? What can I say? I'm a multi-tasker! I can't have a single thought, and try as I might, I don't have a filter on these fingers)

Keep it!

My mother has always given blood at least every other month for as long as I can remember. I was so excited when my high school was sponsoring a blood drive and I was finally old enough (with parent permission slip in hand), to give blood. Plus... you got to miss class, but that was just an added bonus.

That day was the first day in a series of tries to donate blood. I am evidentially always anemic. Always. I pump up my meals with iron rich foods for at least a week before giving blood, making sure to have both kinds of iron to help in the absorption, but alas, I have been turned down every time I have tried.

Today my company sponsored a blood drive, and they even made really cool t-shirts for those that donated. The Red Cross also gave out coupons for a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice cream (pint for a pint). The company had a big breakfast spread and Odwalla OJ to pump up on before and after giving.

I brought in oatmeal, fruit, and yogurt, and have been munching on raisins for days. Last night I even cooked up a fat NY strip that was perfectly marbled, and made garlicky sauteed spinach and mushrooms, all cooked up in a cast iron pan again, to up the iron intake.

But alas...they said the iron levels were still too low, and I needed it more then they did. Maybe next time.

Happy Birthday Big Brother

• To the big brother who showed me that playing in the dirt with Hot Wheels isn't just for boys.
• To the big brother who inspired me to do whatever he was doing and therefore I started asking to join the swim team at age 2 (of course the team coach wouldn't let me until I was 4, but I was right there asking every chance I got).
• To the big brother who made me realize how much I was going to miss him when he just had to go all the way to the other side of the country for college. And therefore made me ball on stage at his graduation when I was supposed to be playing Pompen Circumstance.
• To the big brother who I always wanted to emulate, so I took all the same electives he took including French up until my senior year and the teacher asked me to stop, because I just wasn't getting it.
  
• To the big brother who always wants more for me and will do anything he can to get me there.
• To the big brother who I miss dearly, even though he only left 1 day ago and will be back online tomorrow, chatting with me about what to cook for dinner or asking what is the best way to obtain a crust on sourdough bread in a conventional oven.
  

Still Pooped

I knew I was pooped, but didn't know just how pooped I was.

Yesterday morning, we bid my brother and SIL a safe drive home to Victoria, BC. We packed up their car and then went to a diner downtown. This was one of their favorite weekend breakfast eateries when they lived here. We all ate our eggs, and fried meats with some very tasty potatoes (well SIL had cottage cheese instead of potatoes). We parted ways infront of the diner, and I'm sure we were all fighting the carb comma that was creeping up on us.

Eric and I drove home, reminiscing about what a great visit that was, and how sad it was that I had to work almost the whole time they were here. Once we got home, we raced to the bedroom. No No... nothing like that.. we were giving in to the need to nap after a big breakfast. We slept until 2:30ish, then both woke up, chatted for a while and then evidentially decided we were too tired to start the day yet, because the next thing I knew it was 5pm.

The evening went by quickly. We wanted to try to reset our inner clocks to return to going to bed by 9pm, and up at 5:30am. We watched a little TV, went for a walk, ate a snack (that breakfast was long lasting), then we limited ourselves to 3 rounds of a snowboarding video game, and then up to bed we went. I was excited to have time to read, but I don't think I got through a single article of my cooking magazine, as I faintly recall Eric removing my glasses and covering me with a blanket.

This morning, the alarm went off at 6am (I knew I still couldn't return to 5:30am just yet). Eric got up, went for his daily morning walk, and I just laid there. Not believing it was already Monday morning. I'm still tired. Very tired. I think this week will be full of working, and sleeping. I don't have the energy for anything else. I guess I'll start training for that 1/2 marathon next week.

Family Visit

My brother and sister-in-law are set to leave on Sunday. I am trying to not be too sad about it right now so I can enjoy them while they are here. I can't say how lucky I feel to have such a good relationship with my brother and his wife. We can easily live under the same roof without incident. Usually when people go to visit family and stay with them, there comes a time when you are just ready to go home or to have your guests go home, so everyone can go back to having their own space, with their own routines. 1 1/2 weeks is just not enough to get to that place with my brother.

Before they moved to Canada, they stayed with us for about a month due to the sale of their house, the timing of work schedules and the close of their house in Victoria. I know they were sad to leave, but also excited to move on to their new adventure. Perhaps a month was the visiting limit, because they finally said that futon really wasn't all that comfortable. (Which of course helped in my case of getting rid of it!)

Last night Jenny and I both went to bed as soon as we got back from a BBQ at a friend's house, but Eric and my brother stayed downstairs. As I went upstairs I could hear them quietly cheering and groaning, along with the clicking of the Playstation2 controller. Around 1am I woke up to hear the music of the game, but could hear them talking. A few hours later... still talking. Right before my alarm went off, I woke up, feeling refreshed so I knew it was getting to be dawn and I laid there quietly. I didn't feel for Eric in the bed, but I could hear the click, click, click, of the game controller downstairs. I went downstairs to find Eric VERY awake intensely staring at the glowing screen.

Turns out my brother had only gone to bed an hour earlier. They were up almost all night talking and around 3am, they went back to the game. I know I should just be grateful that Eric and my brother get along so well and they truly enjoy each other's company, but all I can think of is..."What the hell were they talking about?"

** Boy talk update**- of course I was hoping my brother was giving Eric a marriage pep-talk, but turns out they were talking about religion, the afterlife, and how everyone has such different levels of compassion especially towards animals. Which then turned to the thoughts of vegetarianism, and on down that road. So amazingly, not boring guy talk.

Hormonal Balance - Weeeeeee

I know its only Thursday and I generally save my Weeeee's until Friday, but damn it! I feel pretty darn good.

Yes I still have work stress, and those other pressures and worries that don't leave without real work being put into them. But after being in a funk for so long, and knowing that I've done very little to improve my mental well being, I'm feeling confident, psychosomatic or not, those pills were the cause of the depression and other more gory symptoms.

I have not gotten to talk to my doctor yet because he was on vacation until the 15th, and sometimes its just easier to wait to talk to your own doctor then to go through all of the history with someone that doesn't have time to listen to you (YAY Kaiser!).

Knowing that I should see my doctor when he returned, I called the 'appointment center'. The rep told me that the computer said his next available appointment was in mid-October. Thankfully she realized this was not acceptable, so she put me in the advice nurse queue. I got to tell my whole story to the 3rd advice nurse I've talked to since I decided to do something about the evil pill and hormone hell. I've noticed that each nurse hears different parts of the story, and focuses on different issues. The bad part of this is that they are the one's writing up the message that goes to the doctor, who is the only one that can override the computer's scheduling to get me in earlier.

I don't know if this last nurse did such a bang up job in capturing my grief, because the next day my doctor's nurse called to schedule my urgent appointment.... for September (Please remember, this call took place 2 weeks ago). I'm thrilled that an appointment in 3 weeks is considered urgent.

At this point, I'm not concerned about the wait to see the doctor because I took it upon myself to stop taking the pill and my symptoms seem to be subsiding. My body is figuring out how to manage its own hormone levels, and I'm much happier for it. Hopefully I won't get schooled for stopping the pill. And hopefully he won't find other, more serious causes for the hell.

Pooped!

I love love love having my brother and sister-in-law in town. We have great conversations. They get me out of the house. I have extra incentive to get home at a decent time. Eric has someone to run with. I get to COOK for more people. They clean the kitchen when we're done with dinner (extra bonus!). We go on day trips around the area that Eric and I always seem to be too busy to do. Plus, somehow the house is staying cleaner.

The one downside. I'm freakin' TIRED!

Devastated and Embarrassed

For the last few weeks I have been telling myself that I must remember to log onto TicketMaster.com on Sunday at 10am to buy a pair of tickets. Tickets to a show I don't know if I'm exactly embarrassed to want to go to, but I am embarrassed by the degree of my devastation.

So You Think You Can Dance is the first reality competition show that I have watched religiously and have become emotionally attached to these contestants. I never thought anything like this would happen. I actually cried when my favorite dancer was voted off. Sad... very Sad. I hang my head in shame. Perhaps its the hormones that made me more emotional, perhaps its my secret passed-up desire to be a dancer, or perhaps the producers of this show actually did a good job.

Very sadly, I forgot about the tickets until Sunday night, and the show sold out. Many are available for sale online for insane prices. (100-300% above face value)

The most embarrassing part of this sadness...I just spent about an hour considering how disappointed Eric would be in me if I were to pay the inflated price.

IM messages from my past

Right before going to bed, I noticed that my laptop was still on and wanted to shut it down before turning in for the night. I noticed there was an active IM window open, and it was full of messages. Messages from my high school boyfriend.

Very sadly, he was letting me know that his father passed away late last week, when the service is and that he had a message for me from his dad. He wanted me to know that I was a special part of his life and he wanted to make sure even though I had not been in contact with the family for many years.

James and I were not what I hope to be the classic high school couple. He was already out of school, and I was turning from a great student to a just making it by student. I started working too much, doing fewer and fewer sports and activities, and even less homework. My parents were not exactly giving up on me, but weren't really trying to keep me from getting into trouble. I don't know exactly what was going on in the grand scheme of things with my family, as I was being a teenager who was too focused on being what I thought was an adult, and trying to desperately get out of my parents home.

At one point, my father had enough of my lack of respect and kicked me out. James' family was there to take me in. I don't even think we were technically "together" at the time (I now know that our constant on again off again cycle was typical co-dependent behavior). I don't really remember everything that happened, but I know I felt safe and welcomed by James' family. When they were looking to buy a house, they started looking for 4 bedroom homes, and would let me pick out which room I liked. By this time I was back at home, but it was fun to dream.

His family was so incredibly different from mine. Yes, most men enjoy fishing and cars and all of those other manly activities, and I know my brother and father probably enjoy some of them, but I didn't really get much exposure to that at home. At James' house there was always talk of hunting and fishing, there was chewin' tobacco and cusing. More then once I came over to find a dead duck laying on the stoop, so full of shot that there was no point in plucking it. James and I would work on his various cars together, polishing, and changing out parts, and installing stereo systems, and discovering when the head gasket cracks on an old pick-up there is no point in trying to fix it. He taught me about computers inside and out, classic rock and metal bands, and introduced me to the world of D&D (don't worry, unlike some of James' friends he and I both left that world behind us).

James proposed when I was still in high school. It was romantic and a fantasy for a girl that was searching for love, acceptance, stability in a family and an escape from her current life. I don't think either of our parents thought we'd actually go through with the marriage, so they didn't really stepped in to give us their blessings or share their disappointment. I don't even recall if I even started any sort of planning. But it was fun to wear a pretty ring around school, but now I realize how much of the high school experience I missed because of it.

I grew a lot through those 5+ years when James was my world. I learned a lot about myself, and learned some hard but valuable life lessons. You never realize how much a person's part in your life has effected you until you look back.

James, your family will always hold a special place in my heart. I will always remember your father to be the one who taught me patience in the kitchen, how to cut a slit in the baloney so it doesn't curl up on you when you fry it, that Cosmic Cukes are a GREAT dill pickle and how to get the cream of wheat just right. He was a loving and caring man. He will be missed.

Math Genius

At my company we have an email distribution list called, "Funny". All of my "Funny" emails go into a folder automatically so I usually forget to check it. I can tell if there is something worth checking out because I'll start hearing belly laughes all around me.

I don't usually forward such emails, and I wouldn't dream of using this forum to share something that I'm sure has been passed around cyberspace a few times, but these images brought tears to my eyes and was such a pressure release that I'm sure someone else out there will enjoy them too.

Why can't we all just get along?

Red Alert.

Sigh.

Degrees of Separation

This afternoon I was looking for something to keep me from working, and no one on my blogroll had updated since my last moment of needing to avoid work. But today, almost everyone had gotten out a morning post so I had nothing to entertain me while I fought off the post lunch food-coma. So instead, I went to each blog anyway, to see if there were interesting new comments (I freakin love the interaction of the comments).

On a whim I surfed over to the blog of Amy who commented on a Gina's blog. I was immensely entertained by Amy's post about her dealings with her kids in the park that I had to surf to the blog of Melissa, who Amy noted in her post that I (being the reader) must go check out. As I was holding in my laughter from reading Melissa's blog, I thought how could I have not found these awesome writers before? So funny, so real, so well written. I must see who they read.

I checked out Melissa's blogroll, and there were a few links that came up different colors. Oh look she reads some of the same ones I have read. Huh? Wait, I've seen some of these names before. She reads Matt at Childsplayx2 along with some of the same blogs that are on his blogroll. Now Matt has the longest blogroll of anyone I know, but I'm in there, way down there in the Non-Mommy blogs section.

Me --> Gina --> Amy --> Melissa -->Matt --> Me

What is that? 4 degrees of separation? It's a circle. A circle I didn't know about. Isn't the blogosphere cool!

(yes I realize this post makes me sounds like a 13 year old girl that shops at Hot Topic... maybe I'll see Ted there!)

Searching for Hormonal Bliss

For more years that I care to mention, I have been taking chemicals to regulate and to prevent an unplanned pregnancy. Most of you would refer to these chemicals as "the pill", "birth control", or "necessity". I am currently calling it "I don't wanna take it but I fear of what will happen if I don't".

My doctor and I have been searching for the right one for the last few years. My changing physical and mental body have been making the search difficult to say the least. This last try has proven to be the worst of all. It has driven my emotional being crazy, and my physical self mad. Thank you to all of my friends who have listened to the details and the crying and have talked me through the last few months... oh hell, the last 5 years.

Eric and I have discussed and I am now off the pill.

Come on body! Remember what you are ment to do. You can do it!

Wish us luck.
(no, not baby luck, just surviving the hormonal craziness that may get better or worse).

Is that my man?

On Sunday our friends, A & A, invited us along with another couple to their friends' house to hang out and brew up some beer. A & A have this knack of meeting people at random events and locations and becoming great friends. This really amazes me, because I tend to only meet friends through other friends or work.

This new couple that we met, let's call them "Soon-to-Be Mr & Mrs Brew", are very into making homemade beer so they are making a special beer for their wedding favors. How cool are they! They put a lot of thought into the brew, making a complex, fruity, deep, rich, flavorful medium bodied dessert porter to be sipped. A lot of meaning and love was put into the creation of the recipe and the brew itself. Think chocolate, vanilla & cherry, with enough hops to cut the sweetness. We tried some of the test batch and it was really amazing.

So Mr & Mrs Brew are also really into music. They have a recoding studio set up with a drum set, keyboard, multiple guitars, a bass and everything is all mic'd up for recording. Eric's eyes lit up when we were touring their house. After the brew had started its brewin', all the musicians in the house started jammin'. I was outside and just heard them playing, having no idea who was doing what. When someone said to me, "Eric is great!". I responded with, "That's Eric? My Eric?"

After almost 6 years together, I had never heard him really play. He moved to CA with his acoustic, which he's played a little from time to time, but usually just trying to remember a song from college, never really playing all out. The acoustic has been in the closet for the last 2 years at least. He just bought an electric last week so he could jam with Ted, but when he's at home he never has the amp turned on without headphones, so I just hear the "ping ping ping" of the unamplified strings.

Although incredibly proud hearing his talent and having people be so impressed by him, I was also left with a feeling of, who is that guy? Do I know him? What else about him do I not know after these few years together?

I knew a few weeks ago when we first went into a Guitar Center together, that this was a part of his world that I was not going to be apart of, and it was uncomfortable. I know its healthy to have our own lives, and I certainly have mine but I have lived here all of my life. I have my friends, and my hobbies, and my work. Whereas, he moved here with only a small part of his world, most of his friends are my friends too, and I've been with him has he has grown his knowledge and love for his landscaping business. This guitar, rock band, thing? Totally foreign to me. He has been encouraging me to pick something up to be able to "jam" too so we can do it together, but it just feels like he needs to have something just for him.

I completely encouraged the buying of the guitar. I want him to have something in his life that is not related to work and will get him out of the house to hang out with friends without me. He is never able to stop working, because he is always thinking about plants and design, and invoicing, and money. He needs friends. He needs hobbies. He needs a life outside of me.

Argh, I hate when my head knows stuff, but my heart is so not listening.

Monday Blues

The joys of summer allergies! Or possibly some virus.

I came into the office WAY late today. I just couldn't get up when that alarm went off at 5am. Reset it for 6am. And then appartently turned it off. Around 9am I got up to email my boss that I'd be in late. (I usually am in by 7am).

Turns out half of my team or at least their SigOthers are feeling this exhaustion, not quite sick, but sneezing, feeling puffy, blowing the nose all the time thing. WEeeee!

Eventually I'll get out at least some pics of the weekend. Friends, Food, Fruit and Beer!

Weekend free of work

Today is so totally Friday!

Last week we were given a 5 day notice that we are expected to work on most Saturdays for the next couple of months, unless of course we have prior obligations that we can't get out of (or are about to drop from exhaustion and burn out). Before I was hired I already had plans for this weekend, and next weekend the team is scheduled a recovery weekend. So I have 2 full weekends coming up. The pressure is on, so I've been staying at work until about 8pm everyday except the night of my final. So this weekend feels like an extended holiday to me.

This has been one of those weeks where every morning I swear it must be the weekend by now, or at least Friday, hell I'd even take a Thursday. This is what happens when I have to work just one extra day. I'm so spoiled now. You'd never know I used to work 3 jobs and go to school at the same time. Good thing I only have to work on the weekends until November!

I'll try to not bitch too much over the next few months. I'll try really hard.

Dot, stop rolling your eyes! I mean it!

Let the summer eating fest begin!

My brother and sister-in-law are coming for a visit next week. They moved up to Victoria, BC a few years ago and I miss them desperately. We have almost always lived close to one another, and one activity that was at least a weekly standard was cooking fabulous meals together, or going out to eat.

My brother is a MEAT man, and my sister-in-law has been a semi-vegetarian ever since she lived in Mexico because the meat down there... not so clean. She found that the abundant, high quality and cheap veggies and seafood were far more appetizing. My Eric is a VEGGIE at heart, but does love his meat from time to time, so we cook lots of vegg in our house with a sampling of meat here and there. I miss being able to cook up big meat dishes, and BBQ and push them onto my brother. Now? We can't get through a tri-tip before having to toss it. With my brother... that baby would be gone in one sitting.

Next Wednesday they will start the drive south for a visit. They don't have a date they have to go home, so they are going to stay until they feel like leaving (how awesome is that!) He has to work, and she has a friend that just had a baby so she's going to help her out during the day. That means we're going out to eat or cooking a yummy meal almost every day for the next 2 weeks (of course unless they have plans or something).

I've been looking forward to this ever since they mentioned a possible trip a few months ago. In the back of my mind I have kept a running list of things we must do while they are here (note, it is all food related):

Places we will go out to eat:

• Korean BBQ - some place in Oakland we go to but never remember the name
• SUSHI - Yanagi Sushi, Concord
• Mediterranean - The Mediterranean, Concord
• Indian - Sargam Indian Cuisine, Walnut Creek
• Chinese Buffet - Buffet City, Concord
• The best Chinese food in NoCal - O'Mei's in Santa Cruz
• Napa - anywhere, its Napa... Everything is good!

Stuff I want to make:

• BBQ Pulled Pork
• Duck with a Cherry Gastric
  
• Grilled Salmon
• Steak & Scallops
• Some tasty pasta dishes
• Sourdough bread
• Pizza
• Eggs Benedict
• Cinnamon Rolls
• Apricot Cobbler
• Plum Tart
• Shortbread

Oh how I love having company! MMm Mmmm

I so didn't fail!

Yes this is a blatant patting myself on the back post which runs on longer then anyone cares, and by no means is it a plea for yipees, congratulations, hoorays, or the like.

Ok, I didn't exactly excel, but somehow I didn't fail my final.

There were only 5 people left enrolled in the class come the last night (might say something about the difficultly, or the teacher, or both), and one of the 5 had done so well that he didn't need to take the final. Disgusting really, as he works full time doing the shit we were learning and knew more up to date information then the instructor.

When I got the final I looked over the 3 pages. Decided that I might actually be able to pull this one off. 'Hold on tight! Here we go!'

I flew through the first 2 pages, leaving one question completely blank. There was no need to even consider it, I didn't know the answer. Then that last page. Oh, the evil page of questions that you actually have KNOW everything from the class to be able to pull these babies off. I answered some, and put down partial answers for the others just to see if I could scrape some sympathy points.

I don't know how but I was the first to turn it in. I asked if I could wait for it to be graded, so he pulls out his red pen.
Check
Check
Check
Dirty look - He calls me up to review the one I skipped, and when I say I didn't answer it on purpose, he rolls his eyes.
Check
Check
...
Scribble, Scribble (we're onto the last page here)

He motions for me to come back up. Oh my. 35.5 out of 40! That isn't' failing at all! Then I point out to him that he scored the whole last page incorrectly, they were worth 2 points each, not 1. Can I stab myself in the back any harder? He adjusts my score, but still didn't weigh them all 2 points so I only lost one additional point, but this time I let it slide. Maybe he was just being nice.

Phew! My summer can now begin. Am I taking a class in the Fall? HELL NO!


(Bringing back memories anyone?)

Whine Whine Whine

Look out people... I am cranky and whiney today (ok I have been for a few weeks, and it was peaking yesterday but I tried to contain it until I unleashed it out onto J. I'm Sorry J!) .

I'm burnt. I don't wanna do anything. On Sunday in an attempt to not study, I even booted up my beloved SIMs and was bored with them within 2 minutes. Why do I want to make these computer "people" do stuff if I can't even seem to do anything myself right now. I'm a lump. A lump on a log. I'm tired, and I do nothing about it.

Exercise will make ya feel better!
Yea, I know. But that would require me to leave the couch, and I'm really really good at making excuses.

Meditate!
Uh Huh. I know it totally works for me, and even better if I combine it with exercise and do me some good yoga.

But alas, reading blogs, whining about my bum-ness, watching ill produced TV shows, looking at catalogs which I will never buy anything out of, sitting in a car for my long ass commute, then sitting in a very "neutral" cloth covered cubicle with barely a glimpse of the outside world, avoiding studying for a class I have lost interest in (which finally ends tonight), takes up so much of my day that I hardly have time to take care of myself. Thank goodness I can fail my final tonight so I can be done with that class.

As my darling friend over at Autumn's Mom reminds me, "tomorrow is another day". Perhaps I will turn myself around this month, my birthday month (oh GOD, not another birthday to remind me of my failure of "the Plan"). Wait a minute, there can be no perhaps. I will. I must.