Stressed?

So I must say that I laughed at almost all of your very kind and thoughtful comments on my little procrastination post yesterday. Almost every one sent their best wishes on my de-stressing and feeling better. I laughed because when I wrote that post I totally did not write it with a voice of a stressed person (in my head), and when I re-read it... nope, still not overly stressed. But clearly it came across that I was about to loose it.

I mean, I am a little on edge I admit, perhaps because I worked until 2am Tuesday morning but when I declared it time to go to bed I realized that I STILL procrastinated and didn't work on the tasks that were due 2 weeks ago and then I couldn't fall to sleep until about 3am, and then I set my alarm an hour later because 5am was just not happening, so I went with 6am and then snoozed for a round, which thoroughly annoys Eric because for some reason he stayed up late as well, and he didn't have to be up until 7:30am. (les pant, les pant (think Pepé Le Pew's little girl cat he used to run after... she used to pant to catch her breath but would throw in a "les" in front of it cause she was so french). And then I had to remember to drive to work today and not take the train, where I could have slept for an hour and a half, but instead I had to drive because I had a doctor appointment for them to look at my wrist/hand pain which cropped up after I started knitting. And the reason I started knitting was as a form of meditation, and to reduce stress, and damn it its fun, so my hands hurting is so uncool.

So why do you people think I'm stressed?
TeeHee

Procrastination sucks!

I am a procrastinator. I sign up for reasonable sized challenges and projects (where talking in every aspect of life here, not just work), but I have never been one to start on them early or on-time. All through school, and now into my adult life, I still wait until the last minute to do stuff that has deadlines. And if it doesn't have a deadline, then heaven help me if I ever start.

Every time I say... "Next time I won't do this to myself", but I always do.

Plus I'm a perfectionist, so that doesn't really help matters when you are already a few days past the due date and you want it to be perfect. Lots of sleep is lost. Tempers are raised. And the inevitable breakdown will happen at which point Eric will be the wonderful man that he is and will help me through whatever mess I've gotten myself into this time. Even if it is going out to get me comfort food take-out so I don't have to think about the most daunting thought of the night... what to have for dinner?

When I'm stressed, I get all weird about what I'm going to eat. And often I don't eat because I get even more stressed trying to make food or even decide on what will be yummy. Stress is not the healthiest of diets for me. It's bad enough that I am usually not sleeping much by this point, but when I stop eating, then you know it's bad.

My procrastination isn't just about big projects. It also shows itself when it's time to get ready to leave the house. No matter how much I'm looking forward to who I'm going to see or what I'm going to do, I don't seem to start to get ready until I'm supposed to be leaving or honestly, am supposed to be already there. I know.. sad huh? And very frustrating to my friends. I was even late to my 2 rounds of interviews at my current job, but I still go it so I figure I'm just not learning any lessons here so I just keep doing what I do.

I blame this habit on my birth, not my mother, just my birthing situation. I was almost a month late. I had a twin at conception, but was alone at birth and was breech on my due date, so the doctors figured to let me cook a while longer and turn around naturally since I didn't have all of the resources for the first many months of my development (ok that is TOTALLY weirding me out when I think about being a developing fetus). And out I popped a Virgo and not a Leo, which totally makes sense because I'm SOOOo a Virgo.

New Holes

This weekend I was down in Santa Cruz helping out a friend with a project she had taken on. It was fun! but I'm still recovering. Photos and post to follow sometime this week....

On Saturday, after the project was completed and I had zoned out on her parent's couch for a while, I decided it was time to hit the road and head home. Since I was in Santa Cruz, I couldn't help but to stop and do something a little "Santa Cruz"y before I drove home, so I got my ears pierced. Yes, I know.. I'm 30-something (I can't believe I just typed that), and I am now deciding to get my ears pierced.

I got them pierced when I was 15ish, in the mall with one of those piercing guns. The backs never healed and were always a little, ummm.... crusty and one of them was crooked. This is what you get for letting an 18 year old stick things through your head with a spring loaded weapon. I know for many people, the piercing gun works just fine, but it didn't for me.

A few, ok many, years ago I decided to jump on the band wagon and got my navel pierced, so I had researched and had become familiar to more sophisticated piercing techniques. A friend who used to tour with Lollapalooza and worked in a piercing tent (who knew you could go to a concert and do such things), taught me all about the practice and took me to an artist she trusted. I had 2 friends holding my hands and a quick breathe in and breathe out and it was done.

So since I had had that done, I knew what to expect. A co-worker who is still into that sort of thing, recommended an artist in Santa Cruz, and since I was there... hey why not. I have been wanting to do this for a while now, and I would like to wear ear rings for the wedding, so I need to get this done now if they are to heal in time (for whatever date and plans we might make for the wedding).

With the navel piercing there was just one poke, so I wasn't looking forward to the double whammy. It turned out just fine and the artist was very nice and helpful and calming. Honestly, they are healing up much better then the navel since I don't wear pants around my head, but man I am VERY aware of my ears now.

Car Goes Vroom

For the last 4 months, I have been driving my car with the "Req's Maint" light on. No need to worry, I was not taking my life into my own hands (well I was, but my driving skill has nothing to do with this post), this maintenance light is simply triggered by the odometer to remind the driver to get it serviced every 10,000 miles. My last service was right at 80,000 and the service dude never reset the light. Yes I was annoyed but not annoyed enough to pop off little panel to reset it myself, or to take it back to the dealership's service department.

So this week my car rolled into the 90,000's so I took it in for a dreaded major service... and to get that darn light reset. For some reason I continue to take it to the dealership's service department where I know I pay more for it, but I kinda like that I can look up my maintenance records online. Silly I know. I also could change my own oil, but I don't do that either.

My family's mechanic has told my mother to not take it to the dealership I had been going to as they cut corners, and to take it to the dealership in the next town over. So this time I made the switch.

Can I just say that I've never had my car serviced and paid an extraordinary amount of money AND notice my car running better? Of course they also told me that I needed to replace 2 tires, so I knew another couple hundred bucks would be added to my credit card debt this week, but it isn't nearly as painful when I also don't have a car payment.

I swear, I can feel the car run better. It even feels lighter somehow. I didn't really notice it running poorly before, but I really notice that it's smoother now.

I don't know if it just needed the service and even taking it to my old dealership would have done the trick, or if it the service really is that much better at the new place, but for now, I will drive the few extra miles.

Happy Weekend driving all!

Page 123 MeMe

I saw this MeME over at Ally Bean's Crazy Dust in My Coffee, and I thought it sounded fun. So here's goes:

1. Find the nearest book.
2. Name the book & the author.
3. Turn to page 123.
4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page. Copy out the next three sentences and post to your blog.
5. Tag three more folks.

Since the closest book is the phone book, and that's boring, and then is a dictionary, I shall reach a little further and grab the first non-listy book:

Gaia's Garden - A Guide to Home-Scale Permaculture by Toby Hemenway
5th, 6th & 7th sentence of page 123:

"Spiders and birds also thrived in these thickets. Whenever pests swarmed into the adjacent fields, predators were waiting in the wings to gobble up this new food source. With all of the nature standing ready in hedgerows and fallow fields to right any imbalance, pest problems rarely got out of hand."

Well aren't you hungry now? Mmm swarming pests being gobbled up!
I'd tag people, but pretty much anyone who reads this, read's Ally Bean and you probably already did it if you wanted to, so I shall leave this one tagless.

What to wear?

This last Saturday was my company's annual party. I haven't been here long enough to know what kind of parties this place throws, but I do know they like their alcohol.

About 2 weeks before the party, I received an invitation in the mail... at home. Dress - Black Tie optional. Now I was already shocked that they didn't just send out an email because you know that would be cheaper, but BLACK TIE OPTIONAL? Holy Crap! What kind of shindig is this?

The invitation also noted that there would be plenty of food, an open bar, and Wii and PlayStation2 setups, and a live Karaoke Band. What is a live Karaoke band you ask? It's a band that knows a whole lot of songs, really well, and they hand you a list, you pick and then you entertain the crowd with your well trained voice.. NOT!

So I was quite confused by what to expect because on one hand it sounds like it's gonna be fancy with the dress options, and on the other hand... video games?

With my procrastination habits in tow, I waited until the last possible moment to venture out to find a dress for this occasion, Saturday afternoon. Yup, 4 hours before I had to jump into the shower. I debated on what shopping center I might have the most luck at, and I incorrectly choose the close, cheap and umm... now I know, trashy one. But it was closer to home, and the car wash which I had a coupon for, so I ran with it. (and yes, I had to get my car washed because I had no time to wash it and I can't let the valet guys see my dirty Civic. Standards people, standards!)

After much frantic trying on, I actually walked out with 3 dresses, 2 of the three drastically marked down (i.e. Ann Taylor brown strapless number - orig. $178, sale $59). I had my heart set on wearing the Ann Taylor dress, but after visiting every shoe store in the mall, I found no appropriate shoes... BUMMER! The other two dresses were black and I had a pair of strappy dress sandals at home which could be worn one more time before they officially die from 6 years of being the only dressy shoes I own.

I ended up wearing the least expensive of all of the dresses, as it was very comfortable and a little less formal, and most importantly I could wear a normal bra with it (you boys out there have no idea!). Of course I was dressed down in comparison to the gowns that were there, but there were also people in jeans, so it was really nothing I should have worried about.

I will wear the brown number to a wedding in April in New Orleans, so I have a little more time to find "the" shoes. Zappos.com had some that were cute, but I've never paid $200 for shoes, especially ones I've never tried on, so we'll have to see how that goes.

All in all, it was a great party. Eric looked hot in his suit, and most people didn't recognize me in a dress with the hair up and make-up applied. Food was eaten. Songs were sung. Dances were danced. A few drinks were drunk (a few more by Eric then by me, as I was the driver, which is probably why he was on the stage singing and not me). And yes, many a game were played (Eric wants a Wii now!).

I wonder what they'll do next year?

CAN'T STOP KNITTING

I swear this blog will not become a knitting blog... ok maybe it will a little bit, but I must admit this last week I have become addicted to knitting.

I have all of these projects running around in my head. I want all sorts of tools and toys and yarn and books. There are so many great free resources on the web that I find myself a tad distracted. I want more people around me to be pregnant so I can makes lots of baby blankets. It's a good thing that I love scarves, as I want one in almost all of the soft fuzzy colors I've seen. And have you seen this thing called the 'INTERNET'? There is so much more stuff out there.... if only I could touch it all!

Yes, I went back to JoAnn's this week, and purchased new needles and yarn for my next project as I was coming very close to the end of my first one (I don't want to be on a 2 hour train ride with no yarn to be knitting!). And yes, I was so excited to show Eric the new yarn, that I immediately balled it up, and cast it onto my new needles (size 15 is SO much funner then size 8 -- ACK I'm a knitting geek!). Soon it was 2 hours past my bedtime and I was still sitting on the bed knitting away at my new fluffy scarf.

I've seen this crafting monster in me before. It's the one that spends way too much money on filling up the attic with storage bins of projects that are never finished. I swore I would not buy anything for a new project until I was finished with the first, but there are sales and Internet coupons to be used! And babies that need blankets, and heads that need hats, and Sunday naps that need afghans.

I truly hope I do not really start a stash of projects undone, but it's very very tempting. I think I know what kind of presents I'll be giving from now on. My friends and family will be very warm.


**update**
I finished my first project last night, and I am almost done with the chunky scarf as of my train ride into work. Hmm... what will my next project be. Donna, you ready to give me another lesson?

Aren't cat's great models?

Chilly Tushy

Most everyone has noticed that the weather in our respected areas of the world is just not what it usually is this time of year. Here in Northern California, it is cold. Way colder then a normal winter. And it's been pretty dry, which adds to the chill factor since we haven't had much rain to warm things up.

It is known that buildings in this area are not well insulated. Even though we have really hot summers, builders of the 70's and earlier just didn't insulate like they do today, so this winter, heaters have been running almost non-stop.

One area of each building I've been in over the last month or so that is so incredibly cold is...the Bathroom (or Restroom if you prefer I write more gentile-like). I fist noticed it in my office building with the ladies room which has a wall of window glass (frosted of course) and I figured the chill was due to heat lose through the window, but I've noticed the excessively chilly porcelain in almost any bathroom I've had the pleasure of visiting this winter.

Has anyone else noticed this design flaw most likely put together by a man? Is this just a specific design in this normally warmer area of the world? Or is this really the norm and my tushy is suddenly more sensitive to the chills of winter?

A New Reason to Ride the Train to Work

This weekend, I met up with a friend, Donna of DonnazChaos, who I have re-connected with through the blogosphere . We met on Saturday at one of the most dangerous stores around.... JoAnn's Fabric and Craft Superstore.

You see, I'm a crafter at heart but I'm not very good at following through. Growing up my grandmother crocheted her little heart out and filled her home with doilies and afghans. She taught me the basics but I never took them anywhere. My mom, being a piano teacher for kids, always had crafty things for the kids to make to solidify musical theory into there little sponges for brains (I know music theory crafts don't sound that fun, but I loved it and she's been doing it for 40 years and it seems to still work with the little ones). I grew up with bins and bins of crafting supplies, and we never threw anything out, but we also rarely used the left over bits and pieces so they usually went off to the local preschool. I have started many projects with good intentions, and they oh so often end up in the trash as I get tired of moving them with me from place to place.

For the last 5 or so years, I have started a few projects but mostly swore off crafting as it tends to overtake my life, and my house, and the attic fills with storage bins of fabric, and such for projects that never even got started or rarely finished. Of course I still have the baby fleece I bought to make baby blankets for a little man that is now 2 years old. And so my return to JoAnn's was a dangerous step down the road I had fought hard to stay away from.

Donna is a very crafty and talented woman who was so kind as to donate her Saturday morning to me to teach me to knit. I had been thinking that I wanted to learn for a few months, when Donna found my blog and we started emailing, and she agreed to pass on her knowledge.

We walked up and down every aisle of the yarn craft section and fondled all of it as she told me about how each one can be used, how to read the labels and stories of what she has made with this kind or that. It was a little overwhelming, and she was very patient with me as I selected yarn for my first project. She was a great teacher, and had obviously taught people before as she knew exactly how to break down all of the steps. It was a great way to start the long weekend and I got to learn a new skill and catch up with a friend.

If I stop ripping out the scarf and starting over... perhaps it'll be done by summer.

Big or Small?

Thank you all for your excellent advice and feedback in the realm of wedding planning fun.

We are not extravagant people, and very practical at that, so spending a lot on a day, albeit a very special day, is not something we take lightly at all. Plus, we're not exactly broke, but we continue to live paycheck to paycheck. Our parent's are not helping with the festivities, although my mother has offered to help pay for something, but I know their financial situation so I'm not about to ask for any assistance. Plus, we are in the process of trying to fix up our place to rent it out or sell it, so that we can move so the throught of additional debt is really not appealing and if my mortgage broker knew about this plan, he's smack me as hard as he could through the phone.

Since I have worked in catering for both small and large companies, and of course gone to many weddings myself, I have seen many takes on how extravagant to make the day. Our first plan was to have a BBQ/potluck where we provide the meat, beverages and sundries, and we ask everyone else to bring side dishes. If I had any sort of catering or restaurant type of meal, I would want to go too far the other way because THAT is the kind of stuff that I love to do and I like the wow factor and seeing my guests smile. Any dinner party I have, or even if I am preparing something at a friend's house, I like to go for the wow. Let my loved one's know that I love them through the food I prepare or serve them (you see the theme in the need to have wonderful food?)

The idea with the potluck, was that since Food = Love, that we wanted people to bring food as that would be a way for our loved ones to gather around us to "feed us" love. Some people feel loved with gifts... me, it's food. And Eric really doesn't want gifts (I haven't taken him registry shopping yet so he doesn't really know the possibilities) so he was full on board with the potluck idea.

But then we got all excited about other ideas. Like going to Yosemite, which turned into a BIG deal, and that was the plan which included way too much expense and time for our guests. Perhaps we can still carry out the Yosemite idea if we elope, or maybe Hawaii, or Fiji? Man eloping sounds fun!

I am battling with my dreams and my reality, and it's not easy. I don't want to ever look back and wish we had done things differently (I'm very much a "What if" type of person). I don't like to regret decisions, and I know this is simply something I need to get over and learn how to be comfortable with me and what I've done in my life.

I'm Sorry that Date isn't Good for Me

We have been putting off planning our wedding for far too long. We have too many family and friends who we would like there, that have to travel so we know we need to let them know as far in advance as possible to allow for vacation time and travel planning. This week we have been trying to solidify our guest list, general details and the big one.. the DATE.

I know we can't make everyone happy, and traveling for a weekend or more for someone else is expensive and sometime sucks, but it's OUR WEDDING!

We'd also like to see these people as much as possible, so if they can be there before the wedding it would be ideal so we can leave for our honeymoon a day or so after. But if we butt the day up too close to school getting out, then people want to stay after and can't come sooner.

My ideal wedding is too expensive for the guests and included expensive lodging and rental cars and much driving, plus flights and a lot of time. We can't afford to pay for everyone, so that dream went out the window. So we are trying to stay more local for us, which will still include flights for many, rental cars, and such, but not as much driving time and slightly cheaper lodging. The whole wedding/honeymoon is going on credit so we're trying to balance dreams with reality. It sucks!

And then there is the guest list. Ranking your friends is not fun, and it forces you to come to terms with friendships that have ended or have waned to the point that when it comes down to numbers you have to cut them.

Perhaps we want too much for our day.
Perhaps we want too many people there.
Perhaps we are too stubborn on who we want there.
Perhaps we are trying to be too accommodating.
Perhaps eloping is a REALLY GOOD IDEA! but then we'd have to pick out witnesses and all hell breaks loose again.

Many of you have gone through this experience. What advice or stories do you have to share?

Blog Reading... all caught up

Since mid-December, my blog reading slowed dramatically. I chose to keep up on the very few blogs where I know and interact with their authors on a semi-daily basis, so I could keep up to date with them. It's kinda funny how even though these are friends who I mostly talk to, or at least IM with for a few minutes everyday, we still really keep up on each other through our blogs. Which goes to show you that we truly are open people on our blogs, as you get all the juicy details that you would tell to a really good friend.

Ok, maybe not all of the details. Like I know that my friend's kid clogs the toilet more often then the parents... you know stuff like that doesn't always get shared on the blog.

So after almost a month of an effort to focus on improving my productivity and functionality in my life as a whole, I have caught up on most of my blog reading.

Bloglines (0)

Of course, I was not able to read ALL of the posts of the blogs I like to follow, because some of you had a good 30+ posts, and blogger/google has been having mucho issues and maintenance going on, so my little 10-15 breaks were being bombarded with 500 errors, so I admit I did spend more time on you wordpress, typepad and personal domainers out there.

That being said, I am now limiting my bloggy activities to 30 minutes per day. If I'm not reading or doing any other activity on the train (and I actually get my butt to the train station on time everyday so I don't have to drive to work) I will be writting my posts then so that doesn't count into my 30 minutes per day. If I'm unable to keep to my 30 minute allowance, then I will have to weigh out the pros and cons of just reading or just writting, or maybe I might have to give it up. I'm so not an in-between type of person. I'm all about the extremes.

At least now that Bloglines doesn't say I have 194 posts to read, it isn't quite so daunting (although it appears that many blogspot RSS feeds aren't working so who knows if I really do have more posts to read and I'm just kidding myself into believing I've caught up). But it does give me an exercise in choosing and sticking to my priorities.

Five Things You May Not Know About Me

Even though I am a WAY OPEN person, and sometimes I open things up too much and let things spill that really should be kept inside, I'm sure there are some things that you may not know about me. I also tend to write about things that are happening right now, and don't look back at the past because sometimes that sucks and it's better to keep looking forward. But sometimes, it great to look back. To remember good times and bad and to reflect on who we are today, because of those times we've lived (gosh that was gooshy). I've been tagged to do this meme which contains 5 things you don't know about me.

1. Since Dennis tagged me, and most of you don't know Dennis this is easily my #1. I met him in my "Raving" days, I laugh when I think of that because I'm such the straight laced, control freaky type that DO NOT go to raves (anymore). I was totally too old to be going to raves, but my new man, Eric, who is now my fiance, was shocked (along with many other co-workers), that I had never been to a rave let alone a club. Eric had found a really great bunch of super creative, open minded people with great big hearts to hang out with and Dennis was among this group. I am envious of Dennis' life as he takes awesome pictures which I drool over, he is a founder of his own company, he gets to work from home and therefore since he is his boss, he gets to take time off in the middle of the week to go do stuff like this (well he didn't DO that, but he went to watch and take wonderful pictures). He's also very involved in the San Francisco culture, travels a ton and participates in life to it's fullest. I'm honored to be tagged by Dennis, because he's still one of the cool kids that I like to look up to.
2. I've been engaged 3 times, and this time it's STICKING. The first time I was in high school, and few people should get seriously engaged in high school. I suppose we thought we were serious, but no dates were ever set, just a lot of dreaming... and then I grew up, woke up and moved on. Sadly this means I missed out on a lot of high school life. The second time was fast and painful. The day was all planned out, and deposits were made, and then a house was purchased. We moved in together and then I realized that this is not someone I could live with. I was not ready to live a life of compromise. Perhaps now I am more ready, but come on! We could never go to out to eat without a scene because he hated cooked vegetables, and heaven forbid any food items touch each other. Oh and he didn't like any sort of sauce...so there goes Chinese food, soups, stews... you get why I had to leave? He also was very particular about the way household chores were done. I'm a control freak already, and I learned that two control freaks shouldn't live together. We were broken up in less then a year (yes, that means we got engaged after only a few months of dating). He got the house and the dog, and I got an apartment and the cats. And I learned a ton about myself and life lessons that were hard learned, but have made me the much more loving and compassionate person that I am today. And you know what? compromise isn't all that bad.
   
3. I LOVE to cook and bake. Ok, most of you have probably figured that out about me already. But I don't just love it, I need to do it. This is how I express my love (so you can see why the second engagement didn't work out so well). I got this gift (or sometimes curse) from my father, and let me tell you how thrilled he was when Eric and I came over the other evening, with empty bellies. He served us up a breakfast for dinner, and his fried eggs and ham are the best!
4. I don't know if I've mentioned this one before, because sometimes I don't like to go there because sometimes people take it like I'm saying I'm better then they are, but after my experience, I fully know that this experience does not in any way trump life experience, handed down stories and lessons, and just plain ol' hard work and experimentation. I went to culinary school after the dot.com boom. I was laid off from my software job and did some sole searching which landed me with student loan debt until 2017. I figured that I didn't have a mortgage or kids, and didn't ever want to think "If only I had gone to culinary school...", so I went. I loved it. I sucked everything out of it I could. I worked for my chefs in their personal catering businesses, I did some catering of my own, and worked for 2 large catering companies in the area. I also continued to work at a resort hotel restaurant for 2 years, even though that software company that had laid me off, asked me to come back a few months after I had started school. At some point, I decided to buy a house and suddenly $11.50/hour at 3-4 jobs wasn't cutting it and I went back to high tech full time. I love having weekends, nights and holidays off that much! My shoe size also went up a whole size from standing all day and night, and my upper back issues went away, but the lower back troubles took it's place. Now the feet are still bigger, but my lower back is better and the upper back pain is back in full force.
   
5. I once went on a train trip across the US from CA to DC. I was 7 years old (I think), and my mom took my brother and I to a National Choristers Guild Conference in our nation's capital. My mom was a minister of music (they didn't ordain women back in the day), so I grew up in chior. My mom got really lucky, as there was another family travelling from CA to IL, that had 2 boys who were both mine and my brother's age. We tore up that train, annoyed many passengers and had a blast! The conference in DC wasn't half bad either. After choir practice, there were organized day trips for the kids and the teens (separate of course, as what teenager wants to hang out with his 7 year old sister when he was big and cool at 11). My mom gave us each $20 each day for food and souvenirs. I didn't eat much each day, as I managed to purchase a stuffed animal at each location...except at the US Mint, where I bought a 24K gold necklace for $18. A possible sign I was starting to grow up already.

Wooo Weee! that was longer then I expected.
So the next part of this meme, is that I'm to tag 5 people, but please feel free to run with it if you so feel the urge. And with that I am tagging: -Starshine, Ginger, LaLuna, PyKorry, and J.

To Shop or not to Shop

My team lead perhaps just made the biggest mistake of his day just now. He was simply hoping to show me some cool new online retail technology and talk to me about Amazon.com's new business direction and wanted me to see their new beta boutique site that just launched. Go to it and see for yourself.... Endless.com

Now I ask you, how am I supposed to get my deliverables completed today?

Happy Friday!

Wait Your Turn

I am the type of person that worries. I'm also the type that gets irritated at other people whom really have very little impact on my life. I do realize that this is really quite silly and adds a touch of self-destruction to my life because really it is worth upsetting myself over such insignificant actions as someone cutting someone else off or someone not using their turn signal? Really it's not worth it.

About 7 years ago I came to a realization that my irritation at drivers was sooo not worth taking that anger home, and therefore so not worth starting in the first place. I kind of came to peace with idiot drivers, and that people are people and they make mistakes. Of course I still want them to realize they make mistakes so I'm still working on my irritation of drivers that are clueless to how their actions effect others.

In general, I am hyper sensitive to how my actions effect others. So I therefore expect others to do the same. Maybe I need to work on the hyper part of my sensitivity, but really, it is so much to ask that if there is an obvious line waiting to get onto the train, and people coming off, and everyone in the LINE is stepping back and allowing these nice people to get off the train, must you, the ever important man with the acid washed 80's Levi Jean Jacket and very short crew cut, push your way passed the LINE and upset the outgoing passengers so you can stand in the train? You didn't even try to get a seat. You just stood there, now blocking those in the LINE calmly walking onto the train.

You see? Sure he was the rock the the middle of the stream that disturbed the glass like surface, but really was it so much of a disturbance that I aught to notice? And then secretly laugh inside my head when the train was delayed due to "Police action" at a station down the line, and he obviously was bothered by his day being disturbed so he paced for a few minutes and then stomped off the train in a huff? (tee hee) And then here I am, I've made it to the office, 1/2 an hour late yet I still have the images and my feelings of irritation fresh on my fingertips.

Why should I care?
Why does my mind see these things, and then hold onto them?

Perhaps my mother scolded me often as a child to not cut in line. Or to watch out for people around me as I spun around in circles, singing aloud in the middle of the aisle of the grocery store. Whatever it was that caused my sensitivity to the effects and feelings of those around me, I'm sure my mother had something to do with it. It always comes down to the parents.

Family Vacation Planning

After being away from the blog for a few weeks, and not really reading much, I feel I have so much to write about and to catch up on. There are Christmas stories, and travel stories, and the New Years stories and meltdowns and the awesome book I'm reading, but first things first.

I need your help.

In April, much of Eric's family is travelling down to New Orleans for the wedding of his cousin (his 3rd wedding... and he's just 30. I'm not judging!) The Bride grew up in the New Orleans area, and her uncle has offered up his VERY nice and spacious home and property for the event which is about 20 miles from the city. Many crawdads and beingets will be eaten and I'm so looking forward to the whole ordeal.

Our little side of the family that is travelling in is 7 adults and 3 kids big, coming from 4 different airports. The Bride's side of the family is HUGE, so we're going into this head on as a group so as not to get lost in all the southern hospitality. Just getting all of those flights booked to come in and go out at the same time, at a good rate was a challenge in itself, but we got that accomplished.

The first part of the trip is 100% wedding focused. We are staying in the town of the wedding so we are there for all of the events and festivities, and the wedding party can really gel (Eric and his niece are both included). The bride picked out a few hotels in the area, and Eric's aunt took care of those reservations which was immensely kind of her to take on that expense and task to book room preferences for everyone. Mostly everyone was pleased with her selection but you can't bitch if you don't pay so that has worked out just fine.

Most of us have not been to New Orleans, so we opted to stay a few extra days to see the sites. The thing is, we decided to stay in the French Quarter since that is really the area we want to explore. But then there is the question of where to stay, and then silly me volunteered to research hotels. This chunk of the trip, everyone is paying their own lodging so now I have inadvertently volunteered to spend other people's money, so I'm trying to balance expense with amenities and location, and still try to make everyone happy. You see I'm insane.

So here is where I ask for your help.
Is there anyone who has taken on such a task that can give some advice?
Has anyone planned a trip to the French Quarter or lives in the area that can recommend a hotel/inn?

So far my research is going well, but feedback and input from others is what makes my world go round so any information and advice is much appreciated.

A New Year Already?

With the new year comes thoughts and plans for the next year and a look back at the past. I start thinking, and planning out all that I would like to do and change and goals I would like to accomplish, and then Eric I and start talking about our thoughts and dreams for the year, and realize that they don't always align, and then I generally get all overwhelmed and don't want to even think about tomorrow, and I want to eat cookies or take a nap. And then the next thing I know it's 11pm, and I'm tired and crabby, and have already had a few meltdowns this year.

Every year I do this. I think about all that I wanted to do last year but didn't, I vow I will do them all the next year, and then I don't and then I beat myself up about it all. I also say that I don't do resolutions because really it's just torture, plus I'm an over planner and a perfectionist as it is, so I'm in a constant state of goal setting, and breaking, and beating myself up and then re-setting the goals, which then gets broken again... you see the cycle?

So even though I say I don't do new years resolutions, I am going to instate a life resolution to be kind to myself and to learn to set the bar low(er). We'll see how this goes.

Happy New Year all!