East Coast / West Coast

Last night, Eric's best friend in Pittsburgh called up to check in on the wedding plans. Since he is a resident doing his fellowship (a 3 year Cardiology fellowship, plus more if he chooses to specialize in a specialty of his chosen specialty) and needs probably the most notice of all those that need to travel. Magically, this phone call sparked a few decisions on our part. Because HELLO, this was one of the main reasons I was pushing Eric to start planning last year, since it's mainly his side that needs to travel (assuming we don't elope to Hawaii). Of course now, it's me that is slowing the plan train down.

So we talked about the March wedding in a blooming orchard and agreed that it was just too close. Although gorgeous, we should have thought of that sooner. BUT, we can do engagement photos in a blooming orchard! Not quite as magical, but still VERY us and very special.

Eric's best friend said that he wants to be there no matter how small we go, which is something that I know means a whole lot to Eric, since he is out here on the West Coast with me, and his entire family and childhood friends are all back in the Northern East Coast. Eric went to his friend's wedding in India, where he spent a month travelling around the country and had the wonderful opportunity to stay in Kerala with his friend's family for quite a long visit. These two are brothers that just happen to have different parents. When his friend called to tell him he was getting married, and the wedding was going to be in India, Eric said, "Well I guess I'm going to India". There were no questions about it.

Out here, Eric has me, the cats, his business, and some newer friends mostly met through me. He is still very attached to the East, and sometimes we have struggles since I am a girl that is so very tied to the West, and his decision to start a business that is also very much dedicated to this area. We could move elsewhere and he could still have his business, but he'd really have to start over. Besides, its cold in the North East!

Right now, he's good. He's happy to be here. He's happy with me and the cats and the lack of snow. But when we have kids, someone is going to be on a plane a lot. I just don't quite know who it's going to be yet.

I'm Sorry that Date isn't Good for Me

We have been putting off planning our wedding for far too long. We have too many family and friends who we would like there, that have to travel so we know we need to let them know as far in advance as possible to allow for vacation time and travel planning. This week we have been trying to solidify our guest list, general details and the big one.. the DATE.

I know we can't make everyone happy, and traveling for a weekend or more for someone else is expensive and sometime sucks, but it's OUR WEDDING!

We'd also like to see these people as much as possible, so if they can be there before the wedding it would be ideal so we can leave for our honeymoon a day or so after. But if we butt the day up too close to school getting out, then people want to stay after and can't come sooner.

My ideal wedding is too expensive for the guests and included expensive lodging and rental cars and much driving, plus flights and a lot of time. We can't afford to pay for everyone, so that dream went out the window. So we are trying to stay more local for us, which will still include flights for many, rental cars, and such, but not as much driving time and slightly cheaper lodging. The whole wedding/honeymoon is going on credit so we're trying to balance dreams with reality. It sucks!

And then there is the guest list. Ranking your friends is not fun, and it forces you to come to terms with friendships that have ended or have waned to the point that when it comes down to numbers you have to cut them.

Perhaps we want too much for our day.
Perhaps we want too many people there.
Perhaps we are too stubborn on who we want there.
Perhaps we are trying to be too accommodating.
Perhaps eloping is a REALLY GOOD IDEA! but then we'd have to pick out witnesses and all hell breaks loose again.

Many of you have gone through this experience. What advice or stories do you have to share?