Tuesday, February 06, 2007

You Mean I Have to PLAN the Wedding?

I seem to think I'm going to get married soon, yet I've planned not a thing and the potential date we settled on, is starting to get really close. We have much to do. Much to decide on. Much shopping and planning and... oh hell, let's elope. Oh wait, eloping still involves planning. CRAP!

So I mentioned this wedding thing up there... yea, right up there, it was mere seconds since your eyes scanned over it. So I keep saying to everyone, "Yea, so we might elope, but I still want the dress, the flowers and the pictures! Oh, and a few people there would be ideal." The thing is, if I still want all of these things, then I still need to make plans, sign contracts and write checks (which require money to back them up, have you heard?). My mom says she is fine with whatever we decide, but I totally heard the pain in her voice when she said that. Eric's mom is actually hoping we elope (don't know what that's about). And our siblings are both down with the date we've given them, but are waiting on confirmation before any flights are booked.

We had finally agreed on a date in June that seemed good for the "must have" guests. But then we think about how much money we could save if we elope now and get Eric on my benefits, and just do a really little thing. But that isn't very romantic or memorable, or really what falls in line with what I want. I know I need to find that balance, and balance is not something I'm really known to find in any aspect of my life. It's one extreme or the other. I admit that I want to be smart with this wedding, and I'm not really an extravagant person, even my dream wedding has a small number of guests but in a location that isn't really easy for people flying in, and therefore pricey.

Plus the thought of asking people to spend 100's of dollars for a weekend where we can only provide one meal, just seems like asking too much. I've never flown anywhere for a wedding, but I'm sure I would for a close friend or relative. We're flying to New Orleans for a wedding in April, so I know people do it, but it just seems so foreign to me. And then it comes down to actually choosing and sadly, ranking people, and not wanting people to feel obligated to come if we do choose to invite them when it just doesn't work for them.

Then Eric came up with the idea to get married in an orchard in bloom. Great idea! Sounds gorgeous! Guess when orchards are in bloom? NEXT MONTH! I contacted our orchard of choice and they don't feel comfortable with the liability of an event, but are open to us taking pictures there, which sounds great... but that means I need to find a dress and photographer in um... a month. Not to mention the cake and someone to marry us, oh and what date is good for you?

Oh yea, and then I'd like to be in better shape because my arms are starting wave back at me, and I have a touch of acne on my shoulders that I'd like to go away for the day.

So June is sounding more reasonable, but still, we need to get our butts into gear and get some decisions made, so people can make plans, cakes can be ordered, photographers can be booked. Huh... SF City hall is looking more and more pretty! Or maybe Hawaii. Hawaii is nice!


Ginger said...

I'm sorry to tell you that it will not get any better (the planning anxiety) from here on out until it is over. That is why people take honeymoons. Not because they need time together to start their new life (although that is good) but because a honeymoon is better than being institutionalized after the nervous breakdown.

Starshine said...

Ginger's comment is cracking me up!

Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

Thanks for your comment on my blog today...you are definitely welcome to jump on the train with me. There's strength in numbers, right?

Ally Bean said...

We had a wedding in a church with a reception in a nearby hall. It was not a pleasant experience from the git-go. I have never felt so manipulated by people who did not have my best interests at heart as I did during the planning and marrying of us.

So, from my limited experience, I'd say elope!!

ML said...

Planning a wedding is a very stressful thing! My wedding was very small and informal, but the stress was straight from hell!

We probably should have eloped :)

Lalunas said...

It is so thoughtful to think of all the people who would like to share in your special day.
I think you should take some time possibly when you are commuting on the train, think what you would like. Do not think of Uncle Joe or your good friend from years past. Exclude everyone and think about what you really would like. If you feel one thought enter your mind, like Oh this relative would not like that, just force that thought away and think, What would Cherry like. Write it down. It may take a couple or train rides. When you get it down on paper, share it with Eric. Then you two can tweek the details. I think you are caught up with what everyone else will want, and that is why you are having a difficult time planning this day. It is your special day, and only you and Eric will remember it 20 years from now. So do it the way you want to do it.

J said...

I'm with LaLuna, figure out what will make you happiest, and everyone will have to deal with it. If they can make it, all the better, but if not, you'll see them another time. Eloping in Hawaii sounds SO romantic. :)

Cherry said...

Ginger - Yea, I'm so using the honeymoon as a lovely vacation with my new husband and as a "holy crap get me out of here!"

Starshine - Cho Cho! Salad for lunch and gonna go for a walk tonight!

Ally Bean - Eloping is definetly high on the possibilities. If only I could find a balance between that and all the things I want.

ML - Vote 2 for eloping...check!

LaLunas - I am considering what my mother would like since she didn't get to plan much of her own wedding. But mostly I'm battling with myself and a touch of Eric.

beenzzz said...

Wedding planning is stressful!!! Good luck with everything.

Gina said...

One thing that made our weding A LOT easier was that the reception and ceremony were held at the same place. That eliminated a lot of planning and "coordination" of timing the photos and all that. I would heartily recommend that to anyone, if possible.

But just know, that whatever you decide to do- you are marrying the love of your life! It will be special no matter what!

Anonymous said...

hmm...i so sympathize with you when it comes to planning. but hey, since both parents are open to your choosing of either formal or informal (i.e., eloping) why not both of you consider doing an anonymous wedding at City Hall over your lunch break, then take your sweet time planning or fantasizing where the "ideal" wedding would really take place...

just a thought.