Another new toy!

For the first time in 17 years of working, I had President’s Day off!
Eric and I had a wonderful weekend, full of Olympic watching, South Park watching, friend hanging outing, Parent’s Anniversary Dinner having, and one very long “quick” trip to REI for some sale shopping. And as mentioned before… no SIM playing.

I wanted to go to REI to buy 1 thing. A Heart Rate Monitor. My brother has been trying to get me to buy an HRM for a while, telling me how it’s the only way to truly measure your body’s effort and capacity, blah blah blah.
If you read back a few months ago, I decided to torture my physical and emotional self by going for a gymnastics workout. This was a reality check for me. I am not 12 anymore. I am 31, and have a completely different body then I did when I was young, and athletic. I may like to think that I’m still athletic, but when I'm winded from climbing the 1 flight of stairs I have to go up at work, home and at BART, hello… that’s not athletic! I’m out of shape. I have been for years. I bitch about the pounds and the inches and about how the new jeans that I finally gave in and bought a size larger, are already too tight. But do I do anything about it? No.

I still eat crap:
breakfast – tea with cream and Splenda(that’s something right?) and a bag of Cheetos
lunch – salad (with bread and cheese of course!)
snack – Coke and Cheetos (I try to limit this to one day a week, well at least the Coke part)
dinner – anything I can make really quickly or we’ll go out

I belong to a gym, but I haven’t been since last year.

A few weeks ago I bought a pair of running shoes (my last excuse to not run). I’m going to start running!

About a month ago, we started our Sunday mornings with a brisk walk around the park by our house, and then I’d try to run around the park as far as I could go, and then walked around again as a cool down. I built up to running around the park 1 and a half times. Then the next couple of times we went out I’d say that I wanted to just talk, or I had a cramp, or some other excuse, and we’d just walk…briskly mind you.

Then I got the HRM. According to my calculated optimum heart beat rate range for loosing weight & building cardiovascular fitness, I don’t have to do much of anything. Cause you see… I’m that out of shape! I walk up the stairs at home and the darn alarm is going off that I’ve already topped out of my range. If you didn’t know, the more fit you are, the more you can do without increasing your heart rate. So the fact that I am winded at 20-some steps, tells y’all that I’m no teenager anymore.

So last Monday, I ran, walked, danced around the house for 32 minutes while keeping my heart rate in my “fitness zone”. That little piece of irritatingly uncomfortable plastic is a total motivator! It even yells at you if you haven’t exercised in 3 days.

Of course I didn’t pick it up again until this last Sunday (because 30 minutes of dancing around the house and walking up and down the stairs, can make a person amazingly sore!). I found that if I speed walked (yes with the swinging arms and the wiggly ass), I could keep my heart going at my optimum rate for weight lose and cardio fitness. So we walked about 4 miles, which took a little over an hour. Woo Hoo!

Let’s see if I keep this up. Cheer me on! I finally have something to write about.

Simulated Redo Button

This last weekend was a glorious long weekend - Hooray for dead presidents! And even though I had prior consent to go off and play in my world of SIMs, I never got around to it. They continue to miss me. But it's ok, because the last time I played, a whole bunch of stuff happened that I didn't want to happen, so I simply didn't save the game and will get to try again.

They have no idea that my really smart and highly paid 20-something woman died, her mother died, and her stay at home boyfriend was obducted by aliens, impregnated and gave birth to a beautiful green baby girl. The 8ish year old girl they had adopted joined the family, so the boyfriend was having to raise 2 kids, care for the dead girlfriend's ailing father, who was hitting on the nanny, and go back to work, while trying to educate himself to get promoted (which you need to have friends to do, and of course he has no time for that). REDO! That kind of challenge is just not fun anymore!

I may not have found the Redo button for my real life, but I've figured out how to simulate one in the SIM world.

What to write about?

Everyday I try to think of something to write about. Sometimes I think of these wonderful stories to tell and then never take the time to write them down. Other times I want to write some random thoughts, just to record a bit about what is going on in my life today, but then again don’t take the time to write them down and they leave my brain, never to be heard from again. I feel bad that I don’t post more often. My 4 adoring readers check in almost everyday (per my site tracking, I CAN SEE YOU!), and they are so wonderful to never complain.

The trouble is, I will not write about work, so there goes about 80% of my material. We all tend to write about what is happening in our lives (fictional and otherwise). Our thoughts. Our dreams. Our goals of the moment. Lately I’ve found that I am overly obsessed with the work part of my life and hence can’t write about what is going on in my head.

Maybe I’ll write about my therapy sessions (yes I go to therapy, so stuff it!). Sometimes I want to write about my relationship but something in me doesn’t think that is wise. Maybe I’m wrong, since only 4 of your read this and y’all know all about everything anyway. I had the thought of taking pictures of the things I see everyday, but that idea got boring fast because I do the same things everyday, and the scenery doesn’t change, nor is it exciting. How many of you really want to see more pictures of my cats, Eric, my drive to & from work, and the oh so boring view from my cube. As one person told me, it’s time to get a new view!

My SIMs miss me

My poor poor sims, are stuck in suspention. I haven't visited them for a very long time. Luckily I have Monday off, and am planning to spend some quality time with them. No worries, I already cleared it with Eric.

Mmmm See's Chocolate

This morning Eric jumped out of bed with my alarm and ran to met me in the hall. He had his hands behind his back with a big grin on his face. The first thought that popped into my head was the same one that you all thought. This thought quickly flew out of my head because I had explicitly told him never to propose on Valentine ’s Day.

He handed me a 1/2 pound box of See’s chocolate, hand picked by him. He knows my love of See’s chocolate runs very deep, and although I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day (corporate, retail, Hallmark Holiday, Blah Blah Blah,) I am a HUGE fan of See’s chocolate. Note I said SEE’s chocolate. Not your everyday chocolate bar.

I quickly opened the box to see the selection of tasty treats he especially picked out for me. This is something he has been trying to perfect since we started dating. He got almost all of them right. Although the See’s Lady put in Dark Chocolate Bourdeuxs instead of Milk, BAD SEE’s LADY! The one tasty treat which wasn’t in my favorites list was a row of Milk Chocolate Chocolate Buttercreams. I adore regular Milk Chocolate Buttercreams with the Vanilla center.

This is the most endearing part of this valentines goal of his. Every year he tries to very hard to please me with this token of his love, and every year, he ends up with one buttercream that I don’t really enjoy. He even asked for the right kind, but when the lady asked him “Did you want the ones with the Chocolate or Vanilla center”, he panicked and switched up his response and said the chocolate ones.

Now don’t anyone of you even start to think that I’m complaining. This man went to the store and stood in a long line to get me my favorite sweets. I love him so, and will enjoy and savor every single one of those chocolates because they are little bits of his love.

I love you, LOVEY!

Another beautiful day

Although it took me an hour to get to this point in my commute. It's views like this that make the drive not too bad. Of course I try to ignore the obvious layer of smog, but just look at all that blue!

Thank goodness I work inside an office and don't have to be subjected to all of that uncirculated fresh ocean air!

Oh the weather outside is frightful

View from my cube. I do believe that is sunshine out there.

Look at it! All that glorious blue out there.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN HERE?

Bad Place

Sorry all. I'm not really in a posting mood right now. I might be a bit absent for a little while. No worries, I just can't do it all right now. Check back for new pictures though. I think that may be a better media for expression right now.

Happy! Happy!

Offsite

Hello. You have reached the voicemail for Cherry. I am out of the office today, attending an our annual department planning meeting. We will be having lots of tasty food and getting to listen to a variety of interesting people speak about all the fun we have in store for us in the upcoming year, followed by a team outing dinner to Teatro ZinZanni. I will be well fed, but very tired tomorrow.

I'm sorry I have missed you, but please do leave me a message and enjoy the 100+ new (and old) pictures which have been added to my Flickr account.

Thank you and have a great day!

Diet?

I could drink the liter of water sitting here at my desk, but the can of Coca-Cola and Cheetos sounds much more tasty.

Trade Ya an Aria for Your Stuff!

A very cool article about my father was in the Contra Costa Times last week. I finally found it online. Unfortunately, the pictures included in the printed article were not included online. I've written to the author, Janice De Jesus, to see if I can get a copy of the photos and permission to reprint the article as it will only be on the Contra Costa Times site for a short period of time.

I am sad that the article does not mention that my parents actually met because of his desire to sing and to improve his voice. When my father came to the US when he was 14 years old, was when he was first introduced to western music (as he puts it). He fell in love with the opera. He would often sing while working, or walking to and from work & school, and would be told that he had a beautiful voice. Some people told him he should seek out professional training and this lead him to my mother. He was told of this woman who was the Minister of Music at a near by Presbyterian Church. He went to her and asked her to train him and she took him on as a private student. Eventually things moved beyond their lessons, and he proposed. Her answer, "Yes, but I can't be your teacher anymore".

I grew up in a house full of music. From my mom's piano, voice and organ lessons at one end of the house, and my father singing or whistling in the kitchen, to my brother practicing his trumpet & french horn and playing the radio & records. I hope my kids will be able to grow up in as musical of a household as I did. Perhaps we'll take off the headphones and share a little more music.

Has anyone seen my Redo button?

I would like to live my life never having any regrets. Afterall, this is why I justified incurring a HUGE amount of debt to go to culinary school. So starting NOW I am living with no regrets. Or maybe now. or Now?

If anyone knows how to change the chemistry of my brain to deprogram regret, please tell me how! Stress would also be a good one to deprogram.

I’m a teeny bit of a stress case. Ok, I stress, worry, over-plan, over-analyze, and am wrought with anxiety over just about any decision in my life. I don’t want to regret decisions, so I clear them with anyone whom will listen and tell me their honest opinion. Of course then I regret going to everyone asking them what to do and not being able to handle my own life. I know I have over used my friends on this part of the job of ‘being Cherry’s friend’, and I’d like to decrease the amount of neediness that I have in this department. After years of over working myself, I am getting better at the over-planning, stress, anxiety, worry thing. Just a little better. No Really. DAMN IT, LOVE ME!

Recently, Staples started running a television ad campaign where office workers can simply press an “EASY” button to clean, get organized, find stuff, stock the office with supplies, etc. I want a button just like this, but for REDO (well maybe EASY would work too). I know this goes against my desire not to regret, but lately, I’ve been wishing I could step back in time and REDO a chunk of my life.

Some examples from last night alone:

• Loudly bitching about work crap with co-workers, while still in the office (I’d be more explicit, but the word DOOCED flows through my brain)
• Getting upset with Eric for saying we won’t be ready for babies for another couple of years so I don't need to worry about that kind of stuff right now (I know this is true but I didn’t want to hear him say it)
• Eating a Taco Bell Nacho Bell Grande even though I had no appetite and was sick to my stomach with stress
• Stewing about all the things I regretted doing that day, all night long, so I got little sleep

Needless to say, I really need to work on this regretting that I'm regretting my regrets thing.

When does my therapist get back from vacation?

Christmas Shopping Done!

Thanks to Julie, My Christmas shopping for this year is over!

We will all wear this











And decorate with these














And proudly display these at work!

Sad excuse for a Thursday

Today is almost gone (at least the work part of the day) and I don't know what I've accomplished.

• Went to the dentist to have my pearly whites polished, poked, scrapped, drilled, etc. I'll spare you the details, but the words "Crown", "Expensive", & "Root Canal" were all used today. Hopefully the drilling will relieve some of the symptom so we can avoid, or at least postpone the previously mentioned evil words.
• I fumbled, bumbled and almost had an anxiety attack while on-air with my favorite Morning Radio Show (they were talking about stupid names parents make their children live with, and they said that Cherry must be the worst name to possibly give a kid, so how could I not call in?)
• Per Miss J, I have added Bubble to my Netflix queue (we'll see who gets it first Missy!)
• While looking at my Netflix queue, I have added the 5th and 6th season of South Park, and the movie that came out in 2000. Eric will enjoy these, and then send them back without me getting a chance to see them, so don't you all start thinking I'm some sort of South Park nut. Eric missed out on the fantastic premiere of South Park back in the 90's (he was living in Germany and somehow missed out in the excitement). So, to keep him entertained when he needs something to stare at, we keep a steady stream of foul mouthed, brain numbing, animated comedy coming into the house. He likes it. It makes him happy. It is good.
• I have done some work stuff - they pay me and buy me lunch (Mmmm fruit tart for lunch) so I feel obligated
  
  And now I am looking forward to my hour drive home.
  
  Grand. Just Grand.
  
  At least I have 1 big lovey and 2 little grey lovies waiting for me at home. I think Kielbasa and Sauerkraut will be the menu of the night. As long as Eric is eating meat, I gotta get in all of my favorites now!

Sappy Warning! Sappy Warning!

When we first started "hanging out", we went to Rodeo Beach in the Marin Headlands. We were doing the normal, newly dating beach walking activities, including picking up pretty rocks and shells. At some point these 2 rocks, shaped like beans caught our eyes. We said the green one was me, and the red one, Eric. They have since represented "us".

Similar, yet different, from very different origins but somehow ended up on the same beach.

Humbling

One of my co-workers invited me to join her Adult Gymnastics class. She said there were all ages in the class from early twenties to mid sixties, and ability levels from just beginning to competitive gymnasts that just want to continue to work out. I used to do my share of gymnastics when I was young and was pretty good. She had been going to 3 years and helps people through their stunts. I thought it sounded like a fun workout, so I went to try it out last night.

We got there a little early so we began stretching our old, tight muscles. I figured it had been a while since I had been in a gym like this, but it would come back to me. When I sat down and figured out how long it had actually been since I did any sort of gymnastics, I was blown away to think that it was about 18-19 years ago. What struck me the most was that I didn’t even have my PERIOD the last time I did gymnastics. I got scared, and very wary of what skills I still had.

The workout started with running around the mat 5 times, and then back the other way. I thought I was going to fall over with this. “What have I gotten myself into?” I quietly said, as my friend laughed. Then everyone started doing jumping jacks. 75 to be exact. This is going to kill me, I thought. Then 35 push-ups and 35 sit-ups. I did 2 push-ups and felt my arms go to jelly. This is not the fun workout I was looking for. The little girl in me that got pushed by her coaches was yelling at me to keep going. For heaven’s sake, the 60+ year old man in the class was kicking my ass!

After that bit of cardio and strength, came the stretches. All your normal stretches, plus holding all 3 splits for 1.5 minutes. I used to be so flexible… now, not so flexible. I was afraid I was going to tear something, so I eased up. And good thing, cause then we started the BEGINNER tumbling.

Beginner tumbling my ass! Ok, so I used to be able to do all this stuff when I was 8 years old, and then some. But now…. Hell no! I was dizzy with the first pass of forward rolls. And nauseous with the second. I sat out for the back-roll extensions, but did try just one regular backward roll. A BACKWARD ROLL! I did these when I was 5 years old all around the house, but now they make me dizzy and want to hurl, and we won’t talk about my lack of grace. I got my courage back for the cartwheels and round-offs and handstands, so something in me was remembering some of this stuff. The addition of some 30+ pounds, a weak cardiovascular system and many years of neglecting my physique was showing.

My friend and I went and played on the uneven bars, beam and trampolines, and that was a great end to the 2 hour torture. The coach spotted me on my back handspring on the tramp, and that was the most difficult move of the night. I’m glad I did it, because I needed some sign that I hadn’t lost all of my skills.

I was nauseated by the BART ride home, and couldn’t concentrate on anything when I tried to read in bed. This morning I hurt and I’m tired. I feel like someone clocked me upside the head while I was running a marathon, and then told me to do it again. I am humbled. Completely humbled. All those years of going to the gym, and I now realize just how little I was really pushing myself. I’m totally going back next week!

It's not enough

My love has returned to me. And for the last 2 nights I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to feel the warmth of his body near me. I feel incredibly comforted and safe. We have even been falling asleep all cuddled together, which we NEVER do. Something is changing. Something good. The fact that I’ve slept for over 6 hours the last 2 nights is just a bonus.

The evening I was to go pick him up at the airport, a co-worker IM’d me asking if I needed a ride (only 4 people in the office live to the East of Oakland so carpooling is a treat!). I responded that I had driven to the office as I need to pick up my boyfriend from the airport. As I sent my response I stared at that word. “Boyfriend” That word is just not enough. It feels too minor, insignificant, and juvenile.

First of all, the word “Boy” struck me as incredibly wrong. Now I’m the last person to say that I’m a woman and he’s a man, as I have this issue with growing up, but to call him a boy suddenly seems trivial. Am I growing up? Is he growing up? Oh gosh, are WE growing up?

Second, calling him a “Friend” didn’t seem to fit. He is more then just a friend. He is my BEST friend. My partner. My companion. My teammate. My conspirator. My Supporter. My Therapist. My Love. He’s not my everything, because that just wouldn’t be healthy. But I can’t call him a boyfriend anymore.

I need a new word. A more significant title.

The end of a very long 7 days

My love comes home tonight. It’s been 1 week. That’s it. And yet I’ve had such an issue with this brief separation. He was gone for almost a whole month last August, and I had an easier time.
In the last week, the earliest I went to bed was 12midnight, and last night was the least amount of sleep I’ve gotten – 2 hours plus a bad dream of an intruder in the house and I couldn’t tell if the noises I had heard were real or just in my dream, and that feeling carried over into my shower where I swore someone with a big knife was on the other side of the shower curtain.

If anyone is thinking of some fun plans for the weekend? count me out! I'll be sleeping.

Where did the weekend go?

How is it already Monday night? ... late Monday night? In fact, it's almost Tuesday morning.

I managed to survive my weekend of being home alone. Of course, it was easy considering I didn't spend it at home, or alone. I thought about having a Home Depot weekend of home projects, and purging closets and general organization, but then I thought about the last project I attempted while my love was out of town. (and no I haven't had the ceiling re-plastered yet).

I went and hung out with some friends and had the pleasure of babysitting while they went to the new Hawaiian Restaurant in Downtown Pleasanton.

This kid is the easiest kid EVER! He's fun to play with. He rarely gets upset. He's incredibly adorable. He can sit and play happily even though his diaper and pants are full of chunky poo. He's so lovable that you don't even mind scrapping said chunky poo out of his pants and other places it has been squished into. He can entertain himself with toys or books or anything that is within reach. Even though he is starting to walk, he isn't the crazy running around boy yet. He likes to dance to music (even if it is his dad singing - Shake your booty! Which has been caught on video and is currently being edited for it's grand release in 2020, maybe. )


He doesn't even whine for his bottle. He just looks at you and says very clearly with his eyes and the gentle rubbing of his blanket "Hi nice lady. I'm starting to get a little tired and a yummy bottle of milk would be a great way to end this fun evening." And after he finishes his bottle, you simply have to put him in his crib and he just goes to sleep. Of course, if you stay in the room and mess with the way-too-silent humidifier, he gets a little upset screaming "GET OUT OF MY ROOM. DON'T YOU KNOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE RIGHT AWAY? THIS IS NOT HOW MY PARENTS DO IT!" so you have to pick him up and cuddle with him until he calms down (that cuddling part is really the toughest part of the night.)

All that in only an hour and a half, and I could take more... so if his parents ever want to go try more tasty food, I'm available!

Home Alone

Hmmm... what should I do with myself for a whole week?

My man has left me at home alone for a whole week. He's gone flying off this morning to hang with his family at his sister's house in Amesbury, MA. He'll sure be cold, but he does miss the snow, so he'll get a good dose of that. Hopefully he'll update Flickr with some great photos of his neices.

Generally when he goes out of town, I can't make myself go upstairs to go to bed, and often end up passing out on the couch sometime in the middle of the night. Hopefully, the fact that I haven't slept well all week will help me get a full night of sleep. I thought that maybe I'd play SIMs until I got too tired, but we all know that I would end up watching the sun come up before I would realize it was 'night-night time'.

I was also thinking that I'd cook and bake and stuff, but we've eaten out this week and I have a fridge full of leftovers (I HATE to eat leftovers, except maybe pizza), so maybe it's a week of Taco Bell for me. Oh, and going to the gym. yea, thats right. The gym.