Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Has anyone seen my Redo button?

I would like to live my life never having any regrets. Afterall, this is why I justified incurring a HUGE amount of debt to go to culinary school. So starting NOW I am living with no regrets. Or maybe now. or Now?

If anyone knows how to change the chemistry of my brain to deprogram regret, please tell me how! Stress would also be a good one to deprogram.

I’m a teeny bit of a stress case. Ok, I stress, worry, over-plan, over-analyze, and am wrought with anxiety over just about any decision in my life. I don’t want to regret decisions, so I clear them with anyone whom will listen and tell me their honest opinion. Of course then I regret going to everyone asking them what to do and not being able to handle my own life. I know I have over used my friends on this part of the job of ‘being Cherry’s friend’, and I’d like to decrease the amount of neediness that I have in this department. After years of over working myself, I am getting better at the over-planning, stress, anxiety, worry thing. Just a little better. No Really. DAMN IT, LOVE ME!

Recently, Staples started running a television ad campaign where office workers can simply press an “EASY” button to clean, get organized, find stuff, stock the office with supplies, etc. I want a button just like this, but for REDO (well maybe EASY would work too). I know this goes against my desire not to regret, but lately, I’ve been wishing I could step back in time and REDO a chunk of my life.

Some examples from last night alone:
  • Loudly bitching about work crap with co-workers, while still in the office (I’d be more explicit, but the word DOOCED flows through my brain)
  • Getting upset with Eric for saying we won’t be ready for babies for another couple of years so I don't need to worry about that kind of stuff right now (I know this is true but I didn’t want to hear him say it)
  • Eating a Taco Bell Nacho Bell Grande even though I had no appetite and was sick to my stomach with stress
  • Stewing about all the things I regretted doing that day, all night long, so I got little sleep

Needless to say, I really need to work on this regretting that I'm regretting my regrets thing.

When does my therapist get back from vacation?

1 comment:

J said...

See, i said once that it would be nice to have a way of seeing how each choice in life would affect things, and look at all of the options, and then we could choose the best one. You said you liked the surprise of not knowing... don't you see how knowing the best way would = a big stress reliever button? I mean, redo is fine, but what if you redo it even worse the next time through? Ack! One more thing to worry about.

I regret the pringles I ate today. And that I finished my book, because I was really enjoying it and didn't want it to end. Oh well.