Friday, January 13, 2006

It's not enough

My love has returned to me. And for the last 2 nights I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to feel the warmth of his body near me. I feel incredibly comforted and safe. We have even been falling asleep all cuddled together, which we NEVER do. Something is changing. Something good. The fact that I’ve slept for over 6 hours the last 2 nights is just a bonus.

The evening I was to go pick him up at the airport, a co-worker IM’d me asking if I needed a ride (only 4 people in the office live to the East of Oakland so carpooling is a treat!). I responded that I had driven to the office as I need to pick up my boyfriend from the airport. As I sent my response I stared at that word. “Boyfriend” That word is just not enough. It feels too minor, insignificant, and juvenile.

First of all, the word “Boy” struck me as incredibly wrong. Now I’m the last person to say that I’m a woman and he’s a man, as I have this issue with growing up, but to call him a boy suddenly seems trivial. Am I growing up? Is he growing up? Oh gosh, are WE growing up?

Second, calling him a “Friend” didn’t seem to fit. He is more then just a friend. He is my BEST friend. My partner. My companion. My teammate. My conspirator. My Supporter. My Therapist. My Love. He’s not my everything, because that just wouldn’t be healthy. But I can’t call him a boyfriend anymore.

I need a new word. A more significant title.


Autumn's Mom said...

Sooooooo are you guys gonna take the next step???? It's a doozy! :)

Liz said...

I knew a woman once who called her husband "Sweetie". Like it was his name. She would have said, "I have to go pick Sweetie up from the airport." It didn't matter who she was talking to, she always referred to him as Sweetie.

Please do NOT do that.

J said...

OK, and in the vein of asking what NOT to choose, also please don't start calling him your "LOVER". That's the term my mom's generation used, for just the reasons you describe, and I always thought it was SOOOO GROSS, like saying, "WE HAVE SEX EVERYONE!!! WE HAVE SEX!!"

Personally, I like boyfriend until it officially moves on to "Fiance", but of course it's your call. You could say, Partner. Or the ever-lame term used by Sociologists, "Spousal Equivalnt". :)

How about, "Eric, the light of my life?"

Autumn's Mom said...

ack! How about NOT!