I admit it, I'm a girl who is perfect. Perfectly set in her ways that is (which are very well thought out and pretty darn close to perfect!). Oh sure, I can change if you give me good reason too, but I have to be the one to decide on the changing and the when and the how. But when it comes to certain matters, I have a pretty good track record of being right. Eric agrees, it's not just me thinking I'm the bomb. (I really don't!.... REALLY! stop rolling your eyes! I can see you!)
So I want to know, why the hell do I care when I see someone do something a little differently then myself. Just because it's not the way I would have done something, as long as the end product is the same/equivalent/acceptable, that's what matters right? RIGHT?
I really wish I could just be more laid back, and not care about how something is done, as long as it gets done. Or really, does that thing HAVE to be done right now like I'd do it, or really can it wait? This is something I'd like to improve in myself. Perhaps this is a little bit about letting go of my control freak ways... just maybe. Maybe it means I am looking to be a better partner and friend, because why on earth would I want to be upset with someone I like or love?
Since before the wedding, I have been learning how to ask for help. This isn't something that came easily to me, seriously! So lately, during my recovery period, when I really couldn't take care of the things I'd normally take care of, I have been having to ask for even more help and have had to let other people take care of things. Sometimes not everything is done exactly how I'd do it or to my silly standards, and I'd feel myself get irritated. It just didn't seem right that I'd be feeling this way towards someone doing something to help me, and I am honestly getting sick of myself. I'm finding the fact that I get irritated, is more irritating then the initial irritation trigger, and I want it to stop. (did you all follow that?) The way I see it (and I'm sure there are plenty of other great ways to see it, because really I know I'm not perfect) the only way to make it stop is to either continue my control freak ways and and re-take over everything or learn to not care so much about the little stuff.
I started working on this a while ago and tonight I didn't even sigh when Eric stopped at MULTIPLE stop signs but well past the limit line. See? I'm getting better! Now to get rid of the impulse to sigh... that's the next step. I admit that I did point out his speed about 4 times though.
Wish me luck!