Monday, June 16, 2008

Worrier

Last week I was worried for one friend who's family was displaced due to a wildfire threatening her childhood home. The next day I learned sad news from another friend about loosing her father and worrying about how she is doing. Today I learned sad news from yet another friend about loosing her mother, and I worry about how to be a friend for her during this time of grief and healing. For the last week I have been worried about my own mother's 2 week travel plans which begins tomorrow (see, worrying before I have anything to worry about), and today I learn she is planning another trip this summer, Oy! You fold in the ridiculous amounts of worry I give to work and no wonder I also worry about the frown lines which grow deeper between my eyebrows each night. (I actually get up in the middle of the night to put more de-wrinkling cream on them if I have had a worried filled sleep).

Today I worried about backing up our dying computer, but not wanting to spent too much money but worried about buying the wrong solution. I worried about the fact we haven't paid off our wedding debt even though our anniversary is next week or figured out our joint finances let alone filed our last year's taxes. I worried about feeding our cats a high carb dry food diet which might give them diabetes and researched a better alternative. Which then lead to down a long road of worrying about their teeth, their colons, their kidneys and their general happiness to be indoor kitties.

I have known for a long time that I am a worrier, but I have been finding that my worries seem to be much of what I think about. If I were to be more mindful of my worries, I think I'd worry I was worrying too much, which I guess I worry about. So for now, I accept my worries as part of my heart and part of my chaos. I honestly don't know who I'd be if I didn't worry.

6 comments:

Autumn's Mom said...

Sigh. I could have written this one myself. Hello, my name is Dot and I'm a WORRIER.

I'd list some of mine..but I'm choosing to ignore them today ;)

Angie said...

From one worrier to another - I can completely relate!

Hopefully, you married a non-worrier like I did - he always helps me keep some perspective.

"How is worrying about it going to change anything?" This is his constant refrain that I sometimes can appreciate and sometimes NOT!

Ted said...

It's tough not to be buried in worry - especially when there's so much to be worried about. But it shows you care about the people you love. :-)

J said...

Worrying sucks, and I'm pretty good at it. Though it looks like you're putting me to shame in that dept!

Karen MEG said...

I almost got lost in that post Cherry, but just know that you are NOT the only worrier. I'm an obsessive worrier, according to my husband.

In fact, it's probably weird, but I don't feel that "content" unless I have something that concerns me. If I'm not worried, than I'm thinking that there's something missing and I should be worried about it.

But getting up in the middle of the night to put on more wrinkle cream?!! You are too funny Cherry! A funny worrier, the best kind!

Tracy said...

Dear Cherry,

I cannot thank you enough for your care and concern. You have no idea how much it meant to me that you came to my Dad's funeral. I so appreciate you and your friendship so much.

My sister and mom are sitting here with me. Jilly says, "It was so good to see you.", and my mom says, "Hi."