Missing my Husband

Ever have those periods in your life when you just don't seem to have time to do what you would normally do?
I'm kinda feeling that about now. I don't know exactly what is happening, but I haven't been home much and when I'm home I'm pooped, and can only seem to get the most basic and essential tasks completed. My routines just feel off.

We still have clean clothes, and there is milk, eggs and bread in the fridge, but we seem to be in a state of chaos.

I think work has kind of taken over our lives at the moment. I've gone into my cyclical routine of doing just one more thing before I head home from the office and then suddenly its 7pm or later. I work best in the early morning and in the evening, and over the years I have found that I will do these spurts of working later and later and then I burn out go back to normal-ish working hours. Eric's business has been keeping him very busy. He is currently having to schedule jobs months in advance and juggling more then one client project at a time, which is awesome but taxing.

We are finding we are missing each other, which is sad for newlyweds who live together. So many nights someone goes to bed alone while the other is either not home yet or is just finishing up one more thing. We haven't even been sharing meals together which as many of you probably know, is a big deal in my book. I haven't been cooking, and have been eating a lot of crap lately. Yes, fast food containers have re-entered our lives. Eric actually eats more dinners with my parents then he does with me (his plant nursery is at their house so he often works there until the sun goes down and then my dad fixes him dinner). Which is cute, but I miss him.

Since one person has said they need to work late, then the other justifies working late too, and then... we don't see each other.

Finding balance is something we have always struggled with, so we'll find it this time too. But we will probably have to keep reminding ourselves.

Taxing

Have I mentioned we are procrastinators? Yes both of us are, and even though one of us plugged in HER numbers into the ol' computer days before the deadline, the other one didn't get on it until a few hours before the witching hour. Most frustratingly to the person who gets very stressed out about rules and such.

I kept begging him to work on them sooner (while also begging myself to work on them sooner). The worst part, was that hours before it was time to click that e-file button, we realized there might be a problem with my part of the paperwork. Not knowing enough about it, and no luck in searching the internet for help I concluded that I had screwed up. So little miss high and mighty over here, who was freaking out on her very busy husband ended up being the bottleneck to the filing on time, and off went the extension.

After some frustrated words were shared and knowing the alarm for 5am would be going off too soon, we sat in bed talking about why we do this procrastination thing to ourselves. We didn't come to any conclusions, but being unorganized and living in a slightly functional chaotic way might have something to do with it. Soon we laughed it off with the thought of us sitting there, looking defeated with tax papers all over and the word "FAIL" written over our heads.

Yes, we will be hiring an accountant very soon to help our sorry asses with organization and do's and don't, and hopefully setting up a better financial system for the business. It was one thing when we each were only responsible for our own monies, but now we have to be all responsible as a family and business owners. Man, growing up is hard.

East Coast Trip

Soon, I will be going on the first business trip I've been on in over 4 years. The itinerary is packed with working a conference booth and customer visits. I was completely overwhelmed when I saw I would be flying into Philadelphia, driving to New Jersey, staying in New York, and back to New Jersey for more meetings and then flying home, all over 3 days.

This California girl doesn't know much about East Coast living and got a little upset by the packed trip. My husband, who grew up in Pennsylvania, has assured me that my trip won't be as crazy as I think it'll be. That really, all of the places I'm going to visit is completely reasonable in a few day period.

After closer inspection of the itinerary, my co-worker and I will actually have the night we are staying in New York free of planned meetings and this has definitely lightened my outlook on this trip. I've only been to New York once, and that was the last business trip I was on. I had to work the entire trip, and my only sightseeing adventure included going out on my own at 11pm with my now husband on the phone telling me where to turn on my guided walking tour, assisted by Internet Maps. My hotel overlooked Ground Zero and I pretty much just walked around that area.

I just checked the website of the hotel we are staying at on our night in New York. It is located near the Southwest end of Central Park. I've never seen Central Park! I'm totally going to go for a walk in Central Park!

When I first found out about the trip, all I knew was that I'd be going to Philly, and I said I would be fine as long as I get a cheesesteak sandwich (which I better still get!). Now, I have a whole night in New York to experience. Even if all I get is another phone assisted walking tour, I'll take it.

Any suggestions?

Also, since this California girl is also an engineer in a tech company she also doesn't have any business attire to wear (got rid of all of that stuff ages ago), so she will be going shopping in the next few days as well. Look out closet! You will get to house more then t-shirts, jeans and tennis shoes soon. Hope its nice because I don't think I'll be able to find cold weather clothing in these parts at this time of year.

Finding Old Friends

Last night I had the pleasure to re-connect with some dear friends from my past. As I mentioned here and here, I have joined Facebook and was able to find a friend who I was sad to have not kept in touch with after high school graduation.

This weekend, my friend had a Spring celebration BBQ and invited my husband and I. Very excitedly I accepted the invitation. I was a little surprised that I did not feel nervous or especially anxious when the day came, which would be par for me. I made a few dishes to share potato salad and cupcakes, because as you already know I share food to express emotions. I had to stop myself at two, but I probably would have made a whole buffet to show my excitement.

When we arrived at her house, there was a small amount of squealing and hugging. There was an immediate feeling of welcome and familiarity. Through the night, I saw a little bit of the life she has lived over the last 16 years. I was also able to catch-up with 2 other people I haven't seen since high school, which was an added bonus. By the end of the night, we both felt like we knew each other but really there is so much that we don't know. Perhaps through catching up, sharing and time, we will each find ourselves a new friend.

PS - Neither of us thought to take pictures until the end of the night when we were both pretty tired. But next time, for sure!

Disposable Memories

One of my goals this weekend (other then taxes) was to go through my box of photos to find some memories to share. There were 2 sets of pictures I was specifically looking for, some from Jr High and High School, and some from about 10 years ago.

I am meeting up with a friend from high school this weekend who I haven't seen for 16 years, and I had some funny and mostly dorky pictures of us together from the 80's. We were pretty close back then and after graduation we never spoke again. Frankly I only kept in touch with 2 people. Thanks to Facebook, we have gotten back in touch and if the emails are any indication this weekend is going to be a blast. She recently posted a photo of us from Jr. High and I joked that I would do that same.

The other photos were of a 3 year old's birthday party which I had separated out all of the doubles for her mom. That 3 year old is now 13, and I thought her mom might appreciate the pictures. I remember putting them in an envelope to mail to her but I don't think I ever did. I wanted to make sure she got those pictures as her little baby with blond curly hair is now a beautiful TEENAGER with black and green hair. HA!

Sadly, as I pulled down that box of pictures, I realized that it was far lighter then I had remembered. Very vaguely I remember "cleaning out" this box last year. I think I was tossing photos that weren't in focus, or weren't clear from using a crappy camera, ones I would never put in a book or scan on the computer. Perhaps there were also some memories I decided I didn't need to keep a photo of because I had them in my head well enough. I had probably just watched "Clean Sweep" on TLC and had been inspired.

So now I'm bummed. Sad that the memories aren't quite as clear as they had been on that cleaning day. Sad that I don't have the fun pictures to share, or the history to archive. I do know that there was a large bunch of pictures in there that I had once thrown away when I was still living at my parents and my father pulled them out of the trashcan and gave them to me, telling me that someday I'll regret that.

Papa, you're right. I do.