It's over

Phew! What a trip.

I am a bit bewildered by the last few weeks that just flew by.

2 weeks ago was my last week at my OLD job. It's over. Finally.
And in that last week, I worked harder and longer then I needed to by just about anyone's standards, but there was something in me that HAD to get things done. I worked a minimum of 12 hour days, including leaving at 12:30am on the last Thursday just to return for my last day at 8am. That night I had to do a couple loads of laundry and pack for a week long road trip which I was leaving for straight from my last day at my job. Needless to say, I got little sleep. And hence the absense of posts.

That last day flew by. Tons got done, and I think I left things as neat and tidy as I possibly could under the circumstances of the last year. However, I never got to send out my farewell email. I was supposed to meet my co-workers at a bar across the street at 4pm for my sendoff, but I was struggling to get things finished and my personal files taken care of. I was working on my farewell email and finally clicked SEND, but some unnamed power told "them" to shut down my access because I was supposed to stop working and go drink. I thought he was joking and assumed "they" would understand this to be a joke.

This email was very important to me because I didn't want to leave the people I worked with. I wanted to leave the company. I wanted to say goodbye and thank them all for their support, their time and their friendship, and of course pass on the customary personal info which most people never save or use, but it's nice to think someone might want to connect with me at some future date and not via the company global address book.

I CC'd my personal email account, added all of the people I wanted to send it to and clicked SEND. Then shut down the laptop, handed it to IT and out the door I went, luggage in hand to grab a beer, get/give hugs and run off to SFO to fly to Pennsylvania.

I didn't check my email until days later. I thought it was odd that I didn't get any emails from people at my personal account. Then realized that I didn't get the farewell email I had CC'd myself on. I contacted the-best-teammate-a-person-could-ask-for, who is also the person that made it the hardest to leave, and he said he didn't get it either.

Those bastards!

Kick me in the pants why don't you.

Maybe they didn't actually shut it down, but instead it got lost in the wonders of the ethers. Who knows.

This may sound like nothing to y'all and that I should get over it (and I will now that I've written this -- blogging = therapy), but damn I'm glad I'm outta there.

Tonight we had a wonderful dinner at one of my OLD co-worker's homes with his wife, and the-best-teammate-a-person-could-ask-for and his wife. They were wonderful and hardly talked about the company. Sure it came up, it's bound to seeing as that is the biggest tie we share. But they didn't tell me how the projects I was working on are going, or how my replacement is doing. Part of me wants to know, but a bigger part is working on the de-stressing project that is more on my mind. I haven't checked the company stock or website (although I hear it isn't doing well).
My manager at my new job (starting in one week) has already voiced his concern that I will have to deal with some separation anxiety. We seem to be very much alike in our work practices, and he shared some of his experiences with leaving jobs and really letting them go. He was very nurturing and I hope he can help me adjust my behavior to work in a healthy way. I think this new job will be a good fit, for the people and the work (at least for now).

My new personal goals:

• Learn to care about work but not let it in
• Work 8 hours/day
• Work effectively and efficiently
• Leave work at work
• Take breaks
• Breath
• Live

Wish me luck!

**Note** Posts about the vacation will be coming shortly. Until then, check out a sampling of the pictures at my Flickr account.