Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Milestone day

Today is a day which will be marked on the calendar. Ok, maybe it won't be because it depresses me a little even as I try to look at the upside to it.

Today I am reminded I am older.
I am no longer dealing with teen angst... much.
I am not afraid of the bullies.... much.
I am able to go to the store and buy what I want... mostly....on credit.... but I don't because I also know the difference between need and want.
I am wiser.
I am stronger.
I am a little bigger too... but we're trying to stick to the positives here.
I don't care as much about wearing the perfect outfit so the cute boy behind me mind notice me.
I've accepted I have straight hair and no longer feel the need to put chemicals in it to change it's structure so it frizzes out instead of laying all shiny and straight.
I have accepted that I am no longer a size 0-2, even if I haven't quite accepted my current size.
I like that I can't see my ribs anymore because that was kinda gross.
I make pretty decent money without getting up at 4am to throw papers at people's houses.
I have learned that being treated badly by a man is NOT OK! and there are other fish in the sea!
I own stuff.
I have found my own voice and use it regularly.
I may not still regularly speak to my friends from my childhood but I have surrounded myself with who I feel are life long friends.
I've accepted it is ok to loose touch.

So even though I am reminded about all of these GOOD things at this point in my life (plus more but my wrists are starting to say we've had just about enough typing for the moment), today is a milestone day which depresses me a little because....

It's too soon! It's just too soon!
I also have dark dark brown hair and this hair is white white white and kinky and right in my part on top of my head.

sigh... so much for not caring so much about my hair.


Autumn's Mom said...

NO WAY! Did you pull it out??? Look at it as a badge of honor. I know I'm lucky I'm blond, I pretend my grays are actually just highlights ;)

~Donna~ said...

I found my first one at 21yrs old. Never really cared about it til they started showing up around my face. I've been coloring with a vengenace since I was 29. :) Welcome to the club of "HAVE to color", and goodbye to the "color cos I wanna" club.

J at said...

Eloquently stated, and it sounds like that first gray hair was earned via much maturity. If it were me, I'll pull it out though. ;)

Cherry said...

BTW - I tried to pull that sucker out but its got some deep roots and I was running late. Plus, if I pulled it out, then I'd have to fully acknowledge it and while it's up there all kinky and white I can pretend it was just the lighting.

Starshine said...

Cherry, that was a GREAT POST!

Congratulations on all that personal growth, even if it meant growing one little gray hair! ;)

C said...

Cherry, what a fantastic post! You really made me smile with this one! How refreshing! XOXO

Karen MEG said...

I've got too many to pull now... I used to be so ecstatic that I would only have one or two every couple of years... and then I had the girl, showed my sister my hairline and she reeled away in horror..."Is THAT what happens after you have a baby?"? Well, I must admit I was approaching 40.

And grey is just soooo unbecoming on dark hair.

Colour is my new best friend too...