I admit, I've never seen The Exorcist and I do not EVER plan on it, but I am aware that there is a scene where the young Linda Blair's head spins. Tonight I feel like this might happen at anytime. I am feeling really really irritable tonight and am just waiting for some small thing to set me off. The announcer on the Winter X-Games Eric is watching and/or Eric making comments about the cooking show I was watching was getting me really close, but I resisted because I knew it was a stupid reaction to nothing.
Wheee!
One irritation point of my Sunday evening is that I made this really awesome corn bread last month and apparently didn't write it down or save the link or where ever I got the recipe. I know I adjusted it, and I recall there were reviews of the recipe which tells me it was on the net. But with all I remember about it, I can't find it. I've been looking for it for well over an hour and still nothing that seems right.
GRUMBLE!
Meanwhile I have a chili simmering away. Now I truly love a LONG simmered chili, so this time is not wasted at all. But still... it is getting too late for dinner and still NO RECIPE. Yea, maybe I'm obsessing on this whole cornbread thing, but it was that good.
I have since given up on the recipe finding and have tried out the Better Homes &Gardens recipe with some adjustments. We'll see how it tastes (it's currently enjoying it's brief cooling time before we dive into our 9:30pm Sunday dinner). At least I already have all of the various dishes cleaned and the only thing we'll have to deal with is the chili pot and the cornbread pan.
Oh SNAP! I still have a load of laundry I have to do before tomorrow morning. I have a feeling I'm going to have a really tough Monday morning.
Cornbread Update: It turned out squat, dense and greasy. I admit I did up the butter a touch, but not enough to make that much difference. Sigh. Dont' worry, I'll eat it anyway.
Oh and I put diced raw onion in my bowl of chili because usually I love it and I have brushed my teeth 4 times and I can still taste it! EWW!!!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Overwhelmed by Procrastination
Have you ever found yourself with a situation on your hands where it starts off very minor and could take no more then 5 minutes to clear up and be done with. And then you don't deal with it right then and it gets worse, and worse, and it becomes easier to not deal with it then to face it. And when you try to face it, starting the process is overwhelming and walking away to deal with it later just feels easier. Yes, I'm a procrastinator.
I have been feeling like this is a constant in my life. Some situations are minor, some major and some just feel like they are there all the time nagging me to get my act together. Some take physical effort, others it is mainly brain work or cooperation of multiple brains, but all take time. Perhaps this is just part of being an adult and having responsibilities. I look around me and I feel like there are so many people who seem to really have it together. But then I figure everyone has stuff they probably aren't dealing with, but it is how they cope with what goes undone.
I guess you can say I'm a perfectionist, and I have a hard time letting things go (you've probably figured that out by now). I'm working on that. Don't ask me how... but I am. I have to.
This past weekend was full of procrastination, and then on Monday both my husband and I jumped up and spun around the house taking care of lots of those little annoying things, the weekly chorey things, and some not so little and overwhelming things and we both felt so much better when we went to bed that night. Now if we can only do that with organizing our finances, setting financial goals and getting a tax person, and I'll feel WAY better.
I have been feeling like this is a constant in my life. Some situations are minor, some major and some just feel like they are there all the time nagging me to get my act together. Some take physical effort, others it is mainly brain work or cooperation of multiple brains, but all take time. Perhaps this is just part of being an adult and having responsibilities. I look around me and I feel like there are so many people who seem to really have it together. But then I figure everyone has stuff they probably aren't dealing with, but it is how they cope with what goes undone.
I guess you can say I'm a perfectionist, and I have a hard time letting things go (you've probably figured that out by now). I'm working on that. Don't ask me how... but I am. I have to.
This past weekend was full of procrastination, and then on Monday both my husband and I jumped up and spun around the house taking care of lots of those little annoying things, the weekly chorey things, and some not so little and overwhelming things and we both felt so much better when we went to bed that night. Now if we can only do that with organizing our finances, setting financial goals and getting a tax person, and I'll feel WAY better.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I Can't Believe I Did It!
About four years ago I started using this photo sharing site called Flickr, some of you may have heard of it. I was really getting into it. Sometimes I was trying to "compose" shots and tried to get all artsy but then most of the time I filled my account with snap shots of whatever I did that day. At one point I got really self conscious and only wanted really good photos up there (because I wanted to turn my little point and shoot hobby into something more artistic) and then I didn't really care because I wanted to just use it as a sort of photo book to share and to remember.
I had paid for a few years of a Pro account but in Nov of 2007 totally stopped updating it. I hadn't stopped taking pictures but I was no longer carrying my camera every where I went. And the time to sort and choose which ones to upload seemed to have gone away. I was bummed because I enjoyed that part of my life, plus I had already paid for the service.
I also have a Picasa photo account, but there I have an storage limit since it's free. I started using that site for photos of work events so I could keep my work and personal photos separate. I enjoy some of the features of Picasa, but since I've already paid for Flickr and it's unlimited storage I feel I should use it.
And now, we recently purchased a new camera, so I'm hoping to take my pictures to the "next level" whatever that may be. I'd still like to have a place to share them so what now?
Do I let Flickr end where it is and just use the blog as my photo sharing site which I'll then of course be limited to Picasa's limits again?
Do I research other photo hosting options? Perhaps host it myself?
Do I return to Flickr and start updating it from now on out?
Do I go back through a year of photos and upload the photos I never got around to uploading?
Well, crazy me spent my Sunday going through various external hard drives and camera memory cards to come up with A LOT of photos to share. I found photos from 2006 through the present which I wanted to share with family, friends and whoever. I decided to return to the way of Flickr and started the long evening of uploading. The photostream is somewhat in chronological order, but mostly the sets are where I spend my organizing time. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it more up to date from here on out. (yea right)
Go on over and check them out. There are 16 pages of new ones to peruse.
I had paid for a few years of a Pro account but in Nov of 2007 totally stopped updating it. I hadn't stopped taking pictures but I was no longer carrying my camera every where I went. And the time to sort and choose which ones to upload seemed to have gone away. I was bummed because I enjoyed that part of my life, plus I had already paid for the service.
I also have a Picasa photo account, but there I have an storage limit since it's free. I started using that site for photos of work events so I could keep my work and personal photos separate. I enjoy some of the features of Picasa, but since I've already paid for Flickr and it's unlimited storage I feel I should use it.
And now, we recently purchased a new camera, so I'm hoping to take my pictures to the "next level" whatever that may be. I'd still like to have a place to share them so what now?
Do I let Flickr end where it is and just use the blog as my photo sharing site which I'll then of course be limited to Picasa's limits again?
Do I research other photo hosting options? Perhaps host it myself?
Do I return to Flickr and start updating it from now on out?
Do I go back through a year of photos and upload the photos I never got around to uploading?
Well, crazy me spent my Sunday going through various external hard drives and camera memory cards to come up with A LOT of photos to share. I found photos from 2006 through the present which I wanted to share with family, friends and whoever. I decided to return to the way of Flickr and started the long evening of uploading. The photostream is somewhat in chronological order, but mostly the sets are where I spend my organizing time. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it more up to date from here on out. (yea right)
Go on over and check them out. There are 16 pages of new ones to peruse.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Lunching with Starshine
As some of you in the blogesphere know, our lovely Starshine is moving soon. She currently lives in Southern California, but will soon be packing up her and her husband's things to start their new adventure back in her home state of Texas. She has some family up in the SF Bay Area, so she hopped on a plane and headed up north for the weekend.
While she was up here, a few of us Bay Area Blogger had the chance to meet up with her for lunch. J, Dot and I had a wonderful time chatting with her over some yummy Mexican food and Margaritas.
Starshine and Dot had never met in person before, so this was a first time reunion of sorts which was a long time coming. J and I had met up with her in 2007 at her bridal shower, but Dot was unable to attend that day. She has become a very special friend to us all so a meeting up before moving to Texas was a must.
Through blogging we have all connected in so many way. Recently, Starshine and I each received the same camera for Christmas so we did a lot of camera talk and asking each other advice on what we have learned so far. We are both beginners and are eager to learn how to use all of the new tools to express our creative sides. I'm sure we bored J and Dot when we'd suddenly start spouting off about this lens and that setting. I have a feeling you'll be seeing more and more photos on both of our blogs.
We spent the entire afternoon together and could have easily continued talking all night long. But alas, other family members would like to spend some time with her too and we had a bit of a drive back across the bay to spend time with our own families. Sigh.
We hope this will not be the last time we get to spend time with her. She is quite a gem.
Thank you Starshine for making the trek up north. We wish you and your hubby lots of luck and happiness on this next chapter of your lives.
Mental Note: I should try to get in front of the camera occasionally
While she was up here, a few of us Bay Area Blogger had the chance to meet up with her for lunch. J, Dot and I had a wonderful time chatting with her over some yummy Mexican food and Margaritas.
Starshine and Dot had never met in person before, so this was a first time reunion of sorts which was a long time coming. J and I had met up with her in 2007 at her bridal shower, but Dot was unable to attend that day. She has become a very special friend to us all so a meeting up before moving to Texas was a must.
Through blogging we have all connected in so many way. Recently, Starshine and I each received the same camera for Christmas so we did a lot of camera talk and asking each other advice on what we have learned so far. We are both beginners and are eager to learn how to use all of the new tools to express our creative sides. I'm sure we bored J and Dot when we'd suddenly start spouting off about this lens and that setting. I have a feeling you'll be seeing more and more photos on both of our blogs.
We spent the entire afternoon together and could have easily continued talking all night long. But alas, other family members would like to spend some time with her too and we had a bit of a drive back across the bay to spend time with our own families. Sigh.We hope this will not be the last time we get to spend time with her. She is quite a gem.
Thank you Starshine for making the trek up north. We wish you and your hubby lots of luck and happiness on this next chapter of your lives.Mental Note: I should try to get in front of the camera occasionally
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Husband Done Good!
As I've noted before, my husband considers gifts to be a big deal. He puts much thought and research into gifts for me. He's also very sneaky and pays close attention to my constant blah blah blahing to pick out the perfect gift.
Apparently he had really been listening to me talk about my on again off again knitting hobby and how I never realized how expensive it would be. Not as much for the yarn (although my yarn stash has become insane and only a year ago I didn't understand why people made such a fuss about the size of their yarn stashes... I understand now), but for the needles. I didn't realize that each knitting project/yarn combo could require a new needle size I hadn't yet acquired. And even though I was buying kinda crappy craft store needles, there costs still add up. Oh, and then I started needing different cable lengths for the same size needles I already had. Or started needing different styles of needles for more advanced projects. Each project was costing more and more.
Yes, I realize my non-knitting readers (all but 1 of you) probably aren't following my knitty babble, but I must explain this information for you to understand why my husband is so awesome.
My husband heard my absent minded grumbling when realizing I needed to go back to the store again because I needed a different needle, heard me complain about the cost, how I preferred bamboo, how knitting on the train was easiest with circular needles, and how my new love of making hats requires new needles with shorter cables and apparently heard me mention needle sets with interchangeable cable lengths.... because my Christmas present arrived on our doorstep this week (delivery delayed by a shipping blunder)
KA Bamboo Interchangeable Circular Needle set from Japan
Sizes US 5-15
Cables to create lengths ranging from 16-53"
All in a very cute and handy fabric case
All of the sets I had seen don't go as small, contain as wide of a range of needles and cables and most were metal needles. Much research he did, and reviews look promising.
Thanks my love!
Off to knit.
P.S. Since Donna is likely the only one who is still reading this (she taught me to knit), I want to let her know that I also just made the leap from craft store yarn to the real stuff. Cascade Leisure Bulky (50%Alpaca/50%Cotton) to be made into a hat for my SIL (maybe). My first HANK and they even wound it for me. Found here. Smallish selection compared to other LYS's I've been to but VERY nice staff. And lots of sample projects to fondle and get ideas from.
Knitting Weee!
Apparently he had really been listening to me talk about my on again off again knitting hobby and how I never realized how expensive it would be. Not as much for the yarn (although my yarn stash has become insane and only a year ago I didn't understand why people made such a fuss about the size of their yarn stashes... I understand now), but for the needles. I didn't realize that each knitting project/yarn combo could require a new needle size I hadn't yet acquired. And even though I was buying kinda crappy craft store needles, there costs still add up. Oh, and then I started needing different cable lengths for the same size needles I already had. Or started needing different styles of needles for more advanced projects. Each project was costing more and more.
Yes, I realize my non-knitting readers (all but 1 of you) probably aren't following my knitty babble, but I must explain this information for you to understand why my husband is so awesome.
My husband heard my absent minded grumbling when realizing I needed to go back to the store again because I needed a different needle, heard me complain about the cost, how I preferred bamboo, how knitting on the train was easiest with circular needles, and how my new love of making hats requires new needles with shorter cables and apparently heard me mention needle sets with interchangeable cable lengths.... because my Christmas present arrived on our doorstep this week (delivery delayed by a shipping blunder)
KA Bamboo Interchangeable Circular Needle set from JapanSizes US 5-15
Cables to create lengths ranging from 16-53"
All in a very cute and handy fabric case
All of the sets I had seen don't go as small, contain as wide of a range of needles and cables and most were metal needles. Much research he did, and reviews look promising.Thanks my love!
Off to knit.
P.S. Since Donna is likely the only one who is still reading this (she taught me to knit), I want to let her know that I also just made the leap from craft store yarn to the real stuff. Cascade Leisure Bulky (50%Alpaca/50%Cotton) to be made into a hat for my SIL (maybe). My first HANK and they even wound it for me. Found here. Smallish selection compared to other LYS's I've been to but VERY nice staff. And lots of sample projects to fondle and get ideas from.
Knitting Weee!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Cars and Coffee (or steamed milk for me)
Today my car is in the shop. It's there often. Not so much for fixing broken things, but more for maintenance. By sticking to the schedule my car maker so lovingly put together for me (every 10k miles) and driving a 100 mile a day commute, my car is costing me more then it should. Even though I'm trying to take the train more and more, the miles still seem to add up quickly.
Oh sure, it has never broken down, and it gets great mileage for a 9 year old car (still getting at least 33mpg), this maintenance is killing my budget (if I theoretically was organized enough to have one). I suppose the servicing may be why it has continued to run so well, but at the same time I'm probably stupid to be continuing to bring it to a dealer service center to pay their inflated prices. Maybe I'll GET it washed today too, since I'm already throwing money at it.
So today I am working from a Starbucks a few blocks from the dealer. Sadly, there is only one non-big-name cafe in downtown Walnut Creek and they have terribly uncomfortable chairs. I sat there for 5 hours the last time, and my back just wouldn't let me do it again. I walked by it and it was dead empty. Kind of sad. They have tons of power outlets though, so if the crowded Starbucks I'm in gets too much for me to handle, I may wander down there for a few hours.
Perhaps a tour of all of the Starbucks (4 total), Barnes and Noble, Pete's, Saxby's is in order for today. There's nothing like a change of scenery to make the day go by.
Oh sure, it has never broken down, and it gets great mileage for a 9 year old car (still getting at least 33mpg), this maintenance is killing my budget (if I theoretically was organized enough to have one). I suppose the servicing may be why it has continued to run so well, but at the same time I'm probably stupid to be continuing to bring it to a dealer service center to pay their inflated prices. Maybe I'll GET it washed today too, since I'm already throwing money at it.
So today I am working from a Starbucks a few blocks from the dealer. Sadly, there is only one non-big-name cafe in downtown Walnut Creek and they have terribly uncomfortable chairs. I sat there for 5 hours the last time, and my back just wouldn't let me do it again. I walked by it and it was dead empty. Kind of sad. They have tons of power outlets though, so if the crowded Starbucks I'm in gets too much for me to handle, I may wander down there for a few hours.
Perhaps a tour of all of the Starbucks (4 total), Barnes and Noble, Pete's, Saxby's is in order for today. There's nothing like a change of scenery to make the day go by.
Monday, January 05, 2009
First Day Back
Today is my first day back. First day back to real life. First day back to work in the office after a 2 week vacation and a week to be at home while waiting and coping. My co-workers were great to pick up my mess to get through some looming deadlines, and today I get to see what has become of it all. I did not check e-mail once in the last 2 weeks.... work email that is. And my other personal email accounts, were only checked occasionally. It was great to be unplugged for so long. I'm trying to figure out if I missed it. Any of it.
In the last 3 weeks, my life changed and yet it has also gotten back to normal. I feel "normal" and I look "normal" but I am changed none-the-less. I have dealt with our loss the only way I knew how, by ignoring it and being upbeat and all business about it. And then when I thought I was doing fine, I broke down. When the opportunity arose to start trying again I lost it. I wasn't ready. I'm not ready to go through that again. Eric had no idea what was going on because I had pushed my hurt so far down he only saw the light of the future. My grief brought up his grief and we spent the first few days of the year just being in that place.
2 weeks ago we flew out to the East Coast to be with Eric's family for Christmas. They were absolutely great about everything. We only get to see them once a year if not every other year. Eric's nieces are growing so fast (3 and 9), so it was fun to reconnect with them and to see all that has changed. As always, we had a great time with Eric's sister, brother-in-law and his mother.
We rented a cottage in New Hampshire for the week of Christmas and spent the bordering days in Massachusetts at Eric's sister's house. Lots of cooking and eating of the kinds of snack foods I don't usually buy for our house. Chips and Dip are my and my hips friend. Mugs of hot chocolate with piles of whipped cream were almost constantly in my hands. We made comfort foods, built big fires, and stayed very cozy in the cottage when we weren't out in the snow or shopping for those last minute gifts.
We had a beautiful White Christmas, and lots of fun playing in the snow. The day of our arrival at the cottage was one of the most exciting as we discovered just how much the Honda Odyssey and Accord are not equipped to go up a hill of ice to the driveway of the cottage (the Accord got much further then the Odyssey). Unloading 2 cars with enough luggage and groceries for a week AND Christmas presents for 7 people and carrying it all up an icy hill in the dark... AWESOME! Of course the boys were able to get the cars up the hill with a few bags of salt and sand, after the cars were completely empty. We were snowed in the second day which was a welcomed calm way to start the week. We got to see sunny days, snowy storms and freezing rain in that week. It really was a wonderful time where time seemed to go slowly at first and then magically the week was gone. Sigh... hopefully we'll be able to return again in a few years.
Last week my company opted to shut down the US/Canada offices for the week, so while unplanned, I got another week off (using vacation time of course). I was going to sort and purge and organize. Our house was going to feel light and chaos free. I was going to go through the last year of photos I've never sorted through or published on Flickr, and I was going to renew my Flickr account for that matter. I was going to see friends and catch up on all sorts of things. Well... I saw a few friends, and this morning I finished the last load of vacation laundry (it wasn't that much it just got easier and easier to walk around the sorted piles of clothes on the floor). Yesterday I even processed all of our photos from the vacation. Hey, getting through 1 week of photos is a dent into the 15 month and growing backlog. The drawers, freezer, closets and pantry are still a total mess, but I'll get to them someday.
Oh, I should mention that after the miscarriage, we did a little self-pity shopping and bought ourselves a camera. It was a planned purchase to get for the baby, so we decided to get good at it now for the next time. It's not super fancy, but it is my first experience with something that doesn't fit in my purse. Let's just say that I had thousands of photos to go through from our 10 day vacation and I was only in about 2% of them. I think I love it. It has an issue with the video out port, so it will be getting returned this week. But this time I know a little bit more about it and will be choosing the lenses instead of just taking whatever kit lens they packaged with it.
So that's a little update on how my Holidays played out, and how my new year began. I truly hope that yours was as full of warmth, family, fun and memories... but hopefully you got through those lofty ideas of doing stuff around the house.
Hope your first day back was smooth going and over painlessly!
In the last 3 weeks, my life changed and yet it has also gotten back to normal. I feel "normal" and I look "normal" but I am changed none-the-less. I have dealt with our loss the only way I knew how, by ignoring it and being upbeat and all business about it. And then when I thought I was doing fine, I broke down. When the opportunity arose to start trying again I lost it. I wasn't ready. I'm not ready to go through that again. Eric had no idea what was going on because I had pushed my hurt so far down he only saw the light of the future. My grief brought up his grief and we spent the first few days of the year just being in that place.
2 weeks ago we flew out to the East Coast to be with Eric's family for Christmas. They were absolutely great about everything. We only get to see them once a year if not every other year. Eric's nieces are growing so fast (3 and 9), so it was fun to reconnect with them and to see all that has changed. As always, we had a great time with Eric's sister, brother-in-law and his mother.
We rented a cottage in New Hampshire for the week of Christmas and spent the bordering days in Massachusetts at Eric's sister's house. Lots of cooking and eating of the kinds of snack foods I don't usually buy for our house. Chips and Dip are my and my hips friend. Mugs of hot chocolate with piles of whipped cream were almost constantly in my hands. We made comfort foods, built big fires, and stayed very cozy in the cottage when we weren't out in the snow or shopping for those last minute gifts.
We had a beautiful White Christmas, and lots of fun playing in the snow. The day of our arrival at the cottage was one of the most exciting as we discovered just how much the Honda Odyssey and Accord are not equipped to go up a hill of ice to the driveway of the cottage (the Accord got much further then the Odyssey). Unloading 2 cars with enough luggage and groceries for a week AND Christmas presents for 7 people and carrying it all up an icy hill in the dark... AWESOME! Of course the boys were able to get the cars up the hill with a few bags of salt and sand, after the cars were completely empty. We were snowed in the second day which was a welcomed calm way to start the week. We got to see sunny days, snowy storms and freezing rain in that week. It really was a wonderful time where time seemed to go slowly at first and then magically the week was gone. Sigh... hopefully we'll be able to return again in a few years.
Last week my company opted to shut down the US/Canada offices for the week, so while unplanned, I got another week off (using vacation time of course). I was going to sort and purge and organize. Our house was going to feel light and chaos free. I was going to go through the last year of photos I've never sorted through or published on Flickr, and I was going to renew my Flickr account for that matter. I was going to see friends and catch up on all sorts of things. Well... I saw a few friends, and this morning I finished the last load of vacation laundry (it wasn't that much it just got easier and easier to walk around the sorted piles of clothes on the floor). Yesterday I even processed all of our photos from the vacation. Hey, getting through 1 week of photos is a dent into the 15 month and growing backlog. The drawers, freezer, closets and pantry are still a total mess, but I'll get to them someday.
Oh, I should mention that after the miscarriage, we did a little self-pity shopping and bought ourselves a camera. It was a planned purchase to get for the baby, so we decided to get good at it now for the next time. It's not super fancy, but it is my first experience with something that doesn't fit in my purse. Let's just say that I had thousands of photos to go through from our 10 day vacation and I was only in about 2% of them. I think I love it. It has an issue with the video out port, so it will be getting returned this week. But this time I know a little bit more about it and will be choosing the lenses instead of just taking whatever kit lens they packaged with it.
So that's a little update on how my Holidays played out, and how my new year began. I truly hope that yours was as full of warmth, family, fun and memories... but hopefully you got through those lofty ideas of doing stuff around the house.
Hope your first day back was smooth going and over painlessly!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year Everyone!
I'll write up a little update soon.... all is well 'round these parts and I hope everything is well with you!
Off to J's house now to celebrate J Day! I'll let her know that you are all celebrating her birthday too!
I'll write up a little update soon.... all is well 'round these parts and I hope everything is well with you!
Off to J's house now to celebrate J Day! I'll let her know that you are all celebrating her birthday too!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
And Now It's Over
It was sad and surreal and painful. Ok... it is still surreal (and still sad and sadly, even still painful but hopefully all of that will subside). I've seen the doctor and will not need to go through the surgical procedure.
Not a chapter in my life I had ever expected, but I really hope it is over now and I can feel a sense of closure on the last 3 months. Not the expected ending, but it's the way it is.
I have never felt anger through all of this, because I don't feel there is anyone to blame. It's just something that happens sometimes and happens more then anyone would like to know. It's more a bummer than anything. A delay. A change in the plans.
Today I cried, and I'll likely cry some more. But even as I said goodbye (ok, maybe I'll cry right now) I am very hopeful for the future. I know far too many people who have gone through this, some a few times, and who have multiple very healthy and happy children.
It will happen. Just a little later then we had hoped.
Not a chapter in my life I had ever expected, but I really hope it is over now and I can feel a sense of closure on the last 3 months. Not the expected ending, but it's the way it is.
I have never felt anger through all of this, because I don't feel there is anyone to blame. It's just something that happens sometimes and happens more then anyone would like to know. It's more a bummer than anything. A delay. A change in the plans.
Today I cried, and I'll likely cry some more. But even as I said goodbye (ok, maybe I'll cry right now) I am very hopeful for the future. I know far too many people who have gone through this, some a few times, and who have multiple very healthy and happy children.
It will happen. Just a little later then we had hoped.
Still Waiting....
Thank you to everyone who have called, emailed, messaged, commented and to those who have kept us in your thoughts. We are still keeping really close to home and honestly, I just don't know how I'm going to react if I see someone who knows what we are dealing with. Not seeing people is letting me stay in my bubble of feeling like I'm coping and dealing and all of that. I suppose I'll find out soon enough because we'll be spending the holidays with Eric's family.
I would especially like to thank the friends who have shared their experiences with me and those who have allowed me to share my experience with them. So few people talk about miscarriage... which I TOTALLY get, but you see I'm a "verbal processor" and I always seem to need to talk and talk and talk in great detail of what I'm dealing with and what I should expect. Even just knowing that people have gone through this has helped a great deal. In a way I feel so alone, but every person who has shared their story with me also have kids.... which again gives us great hope. This is a time when friends have been so utterly important.
So we are still here, and still just waiting. While yesterday was what I thought was going to be my hell day, the day of pain I experienced stopped in the evening without anything happening and I have a feeling what I experienced is so minor compared to what "it" could really be like. Thankfully doctors like to prescribe narcotics so is tolerable and I'm thankful our neighbors work during the day so they don't think someone is being beaten over here. Drugs are weird though as didn't expect I would want to giggle and run around with my arms flailing wildly 25 minutes after popping a pill. The pain still shows through which keeps me pretty grounded to the couch all day long. Oh wait.. that's where I've been for the last week. Today has been constant lower level pain with the occasional moment of being doubled over with a squeal, but still nothing is really happening. In a way I'm sort of getting used to the waves of pain, but mostly I'm just done with it all.
With that I need to also put out some ginormous kudos to my husband. While a tad bit of hovering has been going on, this is his way of coping. He's protecting me and providing for me anyway I let him. I'm such an independent person, so sometimes it's hard for me to accept help. I'm working on it though. He's been completely awesome and I hope I have been able to provide the emotional support he needs as well.
I just want to move past this all day pain. Just waiting to move on.
I would especially like to thank the friends who have shared their experiences with me and those who have allowed me to share my experience with them. So few people talk about miscarriage... which I TOTALLY get, but you see I'm a "verbal processor" and I always seem to need to talk and talk and talk in great detail of what I'm dealing with and what I should expect. Even just knowing that people have gone through this has helped a great deal. In a way I feel so alone, but every person who has shared their story with me also have kids.... which again gives us great hope. This is a time when friends have been so utterly important.
So we are still here, and still just waiting. While yesterday was what I thought was going to be my hell day, the day of pain I experienced stopped in the evening without anything happening and I have a feeling what I experienced is so minor compared to what "it" could really be like. Thankfully doctors like to prescribe narcotics so is tolerable and I'm thankful our neighbors work during the day so they don't think someone is being beaten over here. Drugs are weird though as didn't expect I would want to giggle and run around with my arms flailing wildly 25 minutes after popping a pill. The pain still shows through which keeps me pretty grounded to the couch all day long. Oh wait.. that's where I've been for the last week. Today has been constant lower level pain with the occasional moment of being doubled over with a squeal, but still nothing is really happening. In a way I'm sort of getting used to the waves of pain, but mostly I'm just done with it all.
With that I need to also put out some ginormous kudos to my husband. While a tad bit of hovering has been going on, this is his way of coping. He's protecting me and providing for me anyway I let him. I'm such an independent person, so sometimes it's hard for me to accept help. I'm working on it though. He's been completely awesome and I hope I have been able to provide the emotional support he needs as well.
I just want to move past this all day pain. Just waiting to move on.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
With the Good... sometimes comes the not so good.
Last June, Eric and I planned for our wonderfully casual and love filled day of our wedding - Good! What we didn't plan for was me hemorrhaging at the rehearsal. Oh yea.. AWESOME, but not so good.
The day of the wedding was exhausting and totally lovely, and the best thing was that we ended the day becoming our own little 2 person family. GOOD! But then we didn't get to go on our honeymoon because the day after the wedding, my body decided to pick up where it left off at the rehearsal. The night before we were to fly out to Hawaii, we spent the night in the ER while I received 4 pints of O+, a diagnosis that surgery was unavoidable, and the news that our eminent trip to Hawaii would be ill advised. Not so good.
Then in August I had said surgery which was deemed a success. GOOD! But we wouldn't know if I would be able to get pregnant until we tried which was NOT ALLOWED for at least a year. Not So Good.... but hopeful!
Then this past July we were given the go ahead to start trying. GOOD!
And trying was fun, and frustrating, and calculated, and brought us together, and well... Good, but sometimes not as good.
A few months go by and lots of sticks were pee'd on between ovulation monitors and I'm-not-even-late-yet-but-why-not pregnancy tests. One morning I casually pee'd on another stick and got in the shower (by now a familiar routine). We were both in the bathroom a tad later, brushing our teeth or applying make-up (I'm pretty sure I had the make-up and Eric had the tooth brush), and then I looked down at the pee'd upon stick. TWO LINES! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD!
Didn't even know this would be possible! YAY GOOD!
Doctor was called. Ultrasounds were checked to make sure the placement was good as there was high risk of eptopic pregnancy after the surgery. The location wasn't too close to my surgical scar or other existing fibroid (grumble there is already another fibroid), so they shouldn't cause any problems. All looked good! Even a tiny little flutter of a heartbeat was there.
GOOD!
Boobs sore - check
all day nausea - check
pants slowly not fitting anymore - check
baby books piled on the night stand - check
All looking good.
Even got to cancel the fertility tests which were scheduled to begin that very month. WOO!
THEN.....
Second Ultrasound. Ohh! The squiggly image on the screen is way bigger, even baby shaped with little legs and things! Strong heartbeat (all three of us!). The size is a good half week smaller then expected, but that's ok, every one is a little different. That's a heartbeat! The heartbeat is the important part! Excitement grows because I feel we can finally tell family. I can finally tell the story on my blog! DYING not being able to write this down for you fine people! I've been planning for months to tell you all! I have pictures of positive pregnancy tests and scanned in ultrasound pictures and all sorts of little cute stories to tell of picking names and dreams and fun stuff.
Good! Good! Good!
Thanksgiving comes and my parents are here, and I tell my parents. A few days later I call my brother. A few days later I tell people at work, even though my boss knew because I had one particularly bad morning sickness week.
GOOD!
Eric decided to wait to tell his family when we are with them for Christmas. Well.. not exactly what I was hoping for because that means waiting another month for the blog. Still Good!
This week....
I start spotting some brown stuff. It's ok, lots of people spot! I would normally be getting my period today. It's all good right? Advice nurse schedules an appointment for the next day but since its hardly anything there's no worry. Let's just get checked out just in case. To be safe, let's do a semi-bed rest. Yea.. ok. Bed rest. Uh... not so good.
Hours before the appointment, its not brown stuff anymore, it's blood but still very very little. Yea, that's still ok right? RIGHT?
Appointment time comes. My doctor wasn't available so I have some new man saying things to me, and poking and looking and reassuring me. Then another ultrasound (I'm old hat at this now). More poking, some prodding to "wake it up", but its small. like 2 weeks ago small. And it's not moving. We just see my heartbeat in the image getting harder and harder. I ask what if questions and what's next and options and things were schedules, and my arm was continuously stroked by new Dr. man.
NOT SO GOOD! NOT GOOD AT ALL! BAD! VERY BAD!
A formal ultrasound was scheduled with the big fancy machine at the imaging lab to confirm the diagnosis (isn't that a terribly cold word?). Technician knows I already know, and my fancy OB surgical doctor was certain of the diagnosis but said to go through with the ultrasound because they can get a report on the fibroid in there. Technician and I get along great. I'm able to laugh, relax and just go with it. Half way through she gets really quiet and moves more slowly, asks a few questions tenderly, and then its over.
Confirmed.
Sigh. It's not so bad anymore. Not good, but time has given me the ability to get used to the idea.
So I sit at home now. Waiting. Waiting for my body to catch up with what is going on and to do the natural thing. The last scan shows development stopped at 8.5 weeks, only a few days after the previous scan, possibly a few days after Thanksgiving. It's been two weeks, and it is apparent that my body doesn't get it and I will have to have a D&C. The procedure is already scheduled, but it is still a week out. And joy of joys.... we fly out to the East Coast the very next morning to be with Eric's family for Christmas, which was when we were supposed to be telling them our joyous news.
But during this time, I still have to wait. Just in case my body suddenly decides it has figured it all out and puts me through what I hear to be a very messy, emotionally exhausting, and painful hell. After which I will hopefully feel a sense of relief and emotional closure. I'm not about to go through that at the office or in the middle of my commute, which is 1.5 hours away from my comfy blankets and loving kitties and do-anything-he-can-possibly-do-for-me husband, so the wonderful people I work with are letting me work from home or to not work but to be at home when I just can't keep thinking about schedules and issues and designs which seem so very unimportant right now.
So in all of this, we now know we CAN get pregnant (GOOD!) but this time all of the little miracles that needed to happen perfectly to make the most wonderful of miracles, didn't happen in that perfect way. (not so good)
Sigh.
The day of the wedding was exhausting and totally lovely, and the best thing was that we ended the day becoming our own little 2 person family. GOOD! But then we didn't get to go on our honeymoon because the day after the wedding, my body decided to pick up where it left off at the rehearsal. The night before we were to fly out to Hawaii, we spent the night in the ER while I received 4 pints of O+, a diagnosis that surgery was unavoidable, and the news that our eminent trip to Hawaii would be ill advised. Not so good.
Then in August I had said surgery which was deemed a success. GOOD! But we wouldn't know if I would be able to get pregnant until we tried which was NOT ALLOWED for at least a year. Not So Good.... but hopeful!
Then this past July we were given the go ahead to start trying. GOOD!
And trying was fun, and frustrating, and calculated, and brought us together, and well... Good, but sometimes not as good.
A few months go by and lots of sticks were pee'd on between ovulation monitors and I'm-not-even-late-yet-but-why-not pregnancy tests. One morning I casually pee'd on another stick and got in the shower (by now a familiar routine). We were both in the bathroom a tad later, brushing our teeth or applying make-up (I'm pretty sure I had the make-up and Eric had the tooth brush), and then I looked down at the pee'd upon stick. TWO LINES! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD!
Didn't even know this would be possible! YAY GOOD!
Doctor was called. Ultrasounds were checked to make sure the placement was good as there was high risk of eptopic pregnancy after the surgery. The location wasn't too close to my surgical scar or other existing fibroid (grumble there is already another fibroid), so they shouldn't cause any problems. All looked good! Even a tiny little flutter of a heartbeat was there.
GOOD!
Boobs sore - check
all day nausea - check
pants slowly not fitting anymore - check
baby books piled on the night stand - check
All looking good.
Even got to cancel the fertility tests which were scheduled to begin that very month. WOO!
THEN.....
Second Ultrasound. Ohh! The squiggly image on the screen is way bigger, even baby shaped with little legs and things! Strong heartbeat (all three of us!). The size is a good half week smaller then expected, but that's ok, every one is a little different. That's a heartbeat! The heartbeat is the important part! Excitement grows because I feel we can finally tell family. I can finally tell the story on my blog! DYING not being able to write this down for you fine people! I've been planning for months to tell you all! I have pictures of positive pregnancy tests and scanned in ultrasound pictures and all sorts of little cute stories to tell of picking names and dreams and fun stuff.
Good! Good! Good!
Thanksgiving comes and my parents are here, and I tell my parents. A few days later I call my brother. A few days later I tell people at work, even though my boss knew because I had one particularly bad morning sickness week.
GOOD!
Eric decided to wait to tell his family when we are with them for Christmas. Well.. not exactly what I was hoping for because that means waiting another month for the blog. Still Good!
This week....
I start spotting some brown stuff. It's ok, lots of people spot! I would normally be getting my period today. It's all good right? Advice nurse schedules an appointment for the next day but since its hardly anything there's no worry. Let's just get checked out just in case. To be safe, let's do a semi-bed rest. Yea.. ok. Bed rest. Uh... not so good.
Hours before the appointment, its not brown stuff anymore, it's blood but still very very little. Yea, that's still ok right? RIGHT?
Appointment time comes. My doctor wasn't available so I have some new man saying things to me, and poking and looking and reassuring me. Then another ultrasound (I'm old hat at this now). More poking, some prodding to "wake it up", but its small. like 2 weeks ago small. And it's not moving. We just see my heartbeat in the image getting harder and harder. I ask what if questions and what's next and options and things were schedules, and my arm was continuously stroked by new Dr. man.
NOT SO GOOD! NOT GOOD AT ALL! BAD! VERY BAD!
A formal ultrasound was scheduled with the big fancy machine at the imaging lab to confirm the diagnosis (isn't that a terribly cold word?). Technician knows I already know, and my fancy OB surgical doctor was certain of the diagnosis but said to go through with the ultrasound because they can get a report on the fibroid in there. Technician and I get along great. I'm able to laugh, relax and just go with it. Half way through she gets really quiet and moves more slowly, asks a few questions tenderly, and then its over.
Confirmed.
Sigh. It's not so bad anymore. Not good, but time has given me the ability to get used to the idea.
So I sit at home now. Waiting. Waiting for my body to catch up with what is going on and to do the natural thing. The last scan shows development stopped at 8.5 weeks, only a few days after the previous scan, possibly a few days after Thanksgiving. It's been two weeks, and it is apparent that my body doesn't get it and I will have to have a D&C. The procedure is already scheduled, but it is still a week out. And joy of joys.... we fly out to the East Coast the very next morning to be with Eric's family for Christmas, which was when we were supposed to be telling them our joyous news.
But during this time, I still have to wait. Just in case my body suddenly decides it has figured it all out and puts me through what I hear to be a very messy, emotionally exhausting, and painful hell. After which I will hopefully feel a sense of relief and emotional closure. I'm not about to go through that at the office or in the middle of my commute, which is 1.5 hours away from my comfy blankets and loving kitties and do-anything-he-can-possibly-do-for-me husband, so the wonderful people I work with are letting me work from home or to not work but to be at home when I just can't keep thinking about schedules and issues and designs which seem so very unimportant right now.
So in all of this, we now know we CAN get pregnant (GOOD!) but this time all of the little miracles that needed to happen perfectly to make the most wonderful of miracles, didn't happen in that perfect way. (not so good)
Sigh.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Another blog post at 1am. WOO!!
The reason why naps after a lovely lazy meal of Dim Sum with friends is not such a good idea.... I SHOULD BE SLEEPING!
Between the nap which left me rested and energized and the Internets playing their "surf here, now surf there, click this link I dare you" game, I again find myself here at the wrong time of day.
Although I'm thankfully starting to feel tired and will quickly drift off in slumber because my alarm will go off at 6am regardless of the amount of sleep I've had, I still want to share the little treasure of what is right beside me.
That's Mousy on the bottom of the pile of cuteness touching Eric's sleeping head, and Cosmo on top using Mousy's butt as a lovely squishy pillow.
So cute, I had to share.
and yes... they are BIG cats.
Between the nap which left me rested and energized and the Internets playing their "surf here, now surf there, click this link I dare you" game, I again find myself here at the wrong time of day.
Although I'm thankfully starting to feel tired and will quickly drift off in slumber because my alarm will go off at 6am regardless of the amount of sleep I've had, I still want to share the little treasure of what is right beside me.
That's Mousy on the bottom of the pile of cuteness touching Eric's sleeping head, and Cosmo on top using Mousy's butt as a lovely squishy pillow.
So cute, I had to share.
and yes... they are BIG cats.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
I Am an Adult. I Am an Adult.
Yea yea, whatever. It's 3:30am and I'm awake, with laptop on lap and downstairs in a cold townhouse (my toes are freezing). I think I woke up at 1-something am. Stupid work thoughts wouldn't leave my head so I came downstairs just to write the frickers down so I can get some sleep. Of course then I realized I had not saved my ToDo list from the last time I did this (Tuesday), and I had to sit here and try to remember all of those items too! Grrr!
Then Facebook happened, emails, blog posts to read... UGH, I'm insane!
So while I'm sitting here, about ready to give sleep another go, I heard something. A sort of thumping/bumping sound outside the front door. Immediatly, I get scared. I stare closely at the front door to see if it's locked, phew it is. I look to see if the window blinds to the front of the house are closed, they sure are. I then recognize the sound as our security screen door not securing a darn thing and being wide open and the wind banging it on the wall (darn post man!). Will I go open the front door to close it? NO! Do I have a scared-of-the-monsters-under-my-bed feeling in my tummy... YES! Do I realize I'm an adult and there are no monsters under my bed, YES but I still don't like them and will not look under the bed to check!
Yes, I realize these are irrational fears (and yes I still do not like hallways in the dark and will always turn on the light in the bathroom for fear of Bloody Mary (and yes, I just got the willies when I looked up Bloody Mary and google brought back images and I immediately had to clear my google search cache because I don't want 'IT' remembering that search)).
and no, I still cannot watch scary/thriller movies because I WILL pull those fears into my life and dreams, and yes the 'Thriller' video scared me and I'm still not a fan although I know the dance!
Are there still remnants of your childhood fears lurking in your mind?
Then Facebook happened, emails, blog posts to read... UGH, I'm insane!
So while I'm sitting here, about ready to give sleep another go, I heard something. A sort of thumping/bumping sound outside the front door. Immediatly, I get scared. I stare closely at the front door to see if it's locked, phew it is. I look to see if the window blinds to the front of the house are closed, they sure are. I then recognize the sound as our security screen door not securing a darn thing and being wide open and the wind banging it on the wall (darn post man!). Will I go open the front door to close it? NO! Do I have a scared-of-the-monsters-under-my-bed feeling in my tummy... YES! Do I realize I'm an adult and there are no monsters under my bed, YES but I still don't like them and will not look under the bed to check!
Yes, I realize these are irrational fears (and yes I still do not like hallways in the dark and will always turn on the light in the bathroom for fear of Bloody Mary (and yes, I just got the willies when I looked up Bloody Mary and google brought back images and I immediately had to clear my google search cache because I don't want 'IT' remembering that search)).
and no, I still cannot watch scary/thriller movies because I WILL pull those fears into my life and dreams, and yes the 'Thriller' video scared me and I'm still not a fan although I know the dance!
Are there still remnants of your childhood fears lurking in your mind?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I DID IT! Again!
And so another November full of posts ends. 3rd year trying, 2nd year successful.
This year, it wasn't really hard at all. Considering I've hardly posted this year, and switching into posting everyday was strangely an easy transition. I think it made it so much easier because I didn't stress about it. It was more just a matter of fact. "Honey, I gotta got write a post, be right back." was heard often.
I don't know if I'll keep it up in December, we'll see. I don't feel compelled to do it nor do I feel burnt out.
Here are some updates on some posts from this month:
Felled Down and Felled Down Update: Oddly enough, my foot still hurts. My big toe joint seems to be the main issue, although all of the toes are not quite right on that foot. I can't go up on my toes (not even downward dog), and I can't jog, and I can only do short walks (1 mile max). I'm gonna try to get to the doctor next week just to make sure something bad isn't going on.
We'll See: The hair color... yea, it's fine. The bright red/burgandy has faded and it's looking pretty good.
Is It Worth It?: NOPE! I totally slept in. If I happen to of woken up I might have gone to hit the sales but I totally had a lazy Friday at home. It was awesome!
Hope all of you who took the challenge had a good time, and those of you who didn't take the challenge but read along, I hope I didn't totally bore you!
On to December!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
100 Foods Meme
I found this food meme over at J's blog, and well I'm never one to turn down a food meme.
- Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
- Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
- Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
- Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.
1. Venison - The gamier the better!
2. Nettle tea - Eric picked the stinging nettles and made a lovely tea out of it. Unfortunately he wasn't careful and some brushed against his leg while picking. Ouchy!
3. Huevos rancheros - One of my favorite breakfasts! I still remember my first time having this was at my High School Senior breaksfast. We had it at a Mexican restaurant and hired a commedian. Good fun!
4. Steak tartare - Oh, yummy! While I can usually do without the egg, do enjoy this dish. I had Kobe tartare once on a busines trip with a quail egg. It was rich and delicious.
5. Crocodile - I had this in Texas, breaded and fried. Well maybe it was allegator, but that's close enough right?
6. Black Pudding - Blech. Generally I stay away from the congelled blood items.
7. Cheese fondue - My mom made this a few times growing up and I've made it at home too but I can only eat so much. I've always wanted to go to a REAL fondue place where you get the whole meat in oil or broth fondue and the chocolate fondue too! I still think about it and REALLY want to go. Someday.
8. Carp - Yup. My dad used to cook carp all the time.
9. Borscht - I've had a few kinds of borscht. My favorite is white or green borsct although I do enjoy a good beet borsct. There is a little Russian/Ukranian restaurant a few blocks from my work and I love going up there on a cold day.
10. Baba ghanoush - Although sometimes I find that it has a bit of a stinging taste to it, sometimes Eggplant is like that, I always enjoy it.
11. Calamari - Preferably fried please! Salt and Pepper Squid is a favorite dish of mine.
12. Pho - I have Pho at least once a month, but I usually get BBQ Pork Bun (vermaceli) when I get Vietnamese. Which I have at least once a week. AT LEAST!
13. PB&J sandwich - Most recently made with the plum jam I made over the summer.
14. Aloo gobi - Mmmm!
15. Hot dog from a street cart - Any chance I get!
16. Epoisses - Had to look this one up. I've never had it, but I'd try it. I've never met a cheese I couldn't appreciate. I may not gobble it up, but I'd try it.
17. Black truffle - The last day of culinary school, one of our chefs brought in his personal little stash of black truffles and made us a most esquisite truffle risotto. We were all clammering that in all the while in school we were never given the opportunity to try truffles. We were an awesome class so he personally made sure we got to try it. Since then I've had it at a few birthday dinners and at home I have a black truffle oil but no real truffle in my budget.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - We have a friend that makes blackberry wine. Its yummy!
19. Steamed pork buns - MY ALL TIME FAVORITE! Char Siu Bao was the first dim sum item I knew how to order. My father used to go to Chinatown on Sundays to pick up his weekly Chinese newspapers and would bring home pink boxes tied with string, full of these awesome buns. I would eat 2-3 after school. But he'd always make me steam them to reheat them. Microwaving them was just wrong. Probably the first thing he taught me how to steam.
20. Pistachio ice cream - I've had it a few times, even made it once. Mostly I get it in Spumoni though.
21. Heirloom tomatoes - I love late summer so I can get my hands on ripe heirlooms. My favorite summers were ones where Eric was working at an Organic Farm. Many tomato sandwiches were had those summers.
22. Fresh wild berries - Mostly I've had wild blackberries and huckleberries. We had many up in Canada this summer, and I still remember camping and spending a lot of time picking and eating berries. Hikes along trails with berries always go very slowly.
23. Foie gras - Yum! One of my favorite meals was one where my brother and SIL took me out in celebration of me graduating culinary school. I think every dish had foie gras! They even made us a special foie gras tart as an appitizer. I'd hate to of seen the bill on that meal!
24. Rice and beans - I didn't care for beans and rice as a kid, probably because the only rice I knew was white sticky rice. Now though, love the combo. Very comforting.
25. Brawn or Head Cheese - I've had it. It's not my favorite. I'd rather have a lovely mortedella or salami.
26. Raw Scoth Bonnet pepper - PAINFUL! I'd rather cook with it then eat it raw. I don't need my food to hurt but I do enjoy the heat in a dish. I only tried a tiny little bit and it was enough.
27. Dulce de leche - Adore it! So thick and yummy! I admit I've never made it, only bought it in a can.
28. Oysters - Love them raw or cooked. I used to only like them raw, but then I had an oyster burger at a place in Victoria, BC and now I'm hooked on the fried oyster sandwich.
29. Baklava - This is one of Eric's favorites. I used to find the honey to be too much but now I love it. It has to be light and crunchy though. The really dense varieties don't do it for me.
30. Bagna cauda - Another one I had to look up. I haven't had it but it sounds REALLY good!
31. Wasabi peas - Crunchy, sweet and spicy. Mmm
32. Clam Chowder in Soudough Bowl - Yum Yum Yum! I've done this at home and in restaurants but the best is always in San Francisco. Thankfully I live nearby, and used to work there. There was a Boudin's bakery only a few blocks from one of my offices and many a winter day I had this for lunch.
33. Salted Lassi - I know, it sounds odd but I like the Lassi drinks and recently I finally tried the Salted Lassi. It went so well with the spicy food. I've had sweet lassi's that were too sweet, so I much prefer a salted one over a too sweet one. Although I REALLY like the salted Indian lemonade if I can find it.
34. Sauerkraut - Adore it! Preferably with some sausage or pork roast.
35. Root beer float - As long as its scooped ice cream and not soft serve, this is a favorite treat. Coke floats and Orange Soda floats also rock.
36. Cognac - tasted it... don't need to anymore.
37. Clotted Cream Tea - I guess I've had this. I've put clotted cream in tea before if that's what it is.
38. Vodka Jelly/Jell-O - haha! Jello Shots! I've totally had these... at one point in time maybe a few too many.
39. Gumbo - Ohh! Eric's cousin recently got re-married in New Orleans. I had the BEST GUMBO ever! I also had some not so good Gumbo there. I prefer Jumbalyaya though.
40. Oxtail - Ohh! Oxtail soup! I've had multiple versions of this and have loved them all. Very homey and comforting.
41. Curried goat -I've had goat but never curried goat... that I know of. But I am a fan of curry so I bet I would enjoy this!
42. Whole insects - chocolate covered grasshoppers, ants and grubs. That's about it. Oh... well there was that tequilla worm once.
43. Phaal/span - I haven't had this one, but I would totally try it. But make sure I have a Lassi near by!
44. Goat’s milk - Mmmm yes. Rich! According to a recent Oprah show, apparently it's good for you too!
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more - Oh goodness, I don't remember how much the bottle was but it was A LOT! way more then $120, at least at the bar. Someone else was buying and even though I'm not a huge fan of whiskey, I tried it. It was better then the younger less expensive stuff.
46. Fugu (aka pufferfish) - Maybe someday when I'm off in Japan I'll try this. Living on the edge!
47. Chicken tikka masala - LOVE IT! This was my first favorite Indian dish. Probably because its so um.... American in flavors. :-)
48. Eel - I've had eel a few ways but most often in the form of Unagi. The bowl of tiny eels I could do without again.
49. Kispy Kreme original glazed donut - Eh. I've had many but if they aren't hot off the line then its not worth it. We call them "Hot Nows" in our household and we were very sad the night we went to get some "Hot Nows" and our local Krispy Kreme has closed. SO WRONG!
50. Sea urchin - I've had it. It's ok. There are other sea creature I'd rather eat. Like salmon!
51. Prickly pear - Oh I made prickly pear jelly a few years ago. and my mom brought us prickly pear jelly candies.... sorry mom, we threw them out. Too sweet! Eric has a prickly pear cactus which we are waiting to bloom and fruit.
52. Umeboshi - I had to look it up but YES! I've had it. I do prefer the Chinese variety more though. But that's probably because it's what I grew up with.
53. Abalone - I've had a few friends who would go Abalone diving and we'd have these lovely Abalone dinners. Very lovely.
54. Paneer - My brother makes a mean paneer.
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal - And I call myself an American! I've never had a Big Mac! I've had many McDonald's items but never a Big Mac. I'd totally have one, but I tend to order other things.
56. Spaetzle - Anytime I'm at a German restaurant I'll order a side of Spaetzle. I call it "Spattle" though and it drives Eric crazy. Probably because he's German though. It's super easy to make from scratch.
57. Dirty gin martini - Dirty is the only way I like my martini's. Helps to cover up the gin ;-) I'd much rather have a vodka martini if i'm going that route.
58. Beer above 8% ABV - I don't drink much beer anymore but my friends make some pretty good home brews that are easily above 8%! Tasty!
59. Poutine - I've never had poutine but I WANT TO! I love fries and cheese curds and gravy so why not all of it together! I'm hoping someday I'll get to Eastern Canada so I can get the best.
60. Carob chips - Ahh yes, carob. I used to get this in trail mix and the kids that were allergic to milk always had carob. I'd much prefer chocolate anyday.
61. S'mores - For years I found these to be too sweet. But throw on a darker chocolate and I love it. We have few friends who have killer backyards and fire pits and we do smores with wine. It's the best parts of camping out but I still get to sleep in my own bed and take a hot shower!
63. Kaolin - Uhh... never heard of it and even with the internet, I still don't really know what it is. Digestive aid huh? Well, I'm always a fan of helping with the tummy aches.
64. Currywurst - Well I like sausage and I like curry. Why not?
65. Durian - yea, I'm one of the people who like Durian. Sure it smells very strong and tastes of onion, garlic, bananas and other tropical fruits all rolled into one. Oh and the texture is squishy, but I like it!
66. Frogs legs - I've never had it, but I MIGHT try it.
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - I LOVE FRIED DOUGH!
68. Haggis - I had it at a Scottish wedding... umm yea.
69. Fried plantain - As long as it is fried up really well, then its really tasty. If its not cooked all the way through, its chaulky and woody.
70. Chitterlings, or andouillett - I've never had chitterlings but I'd try them. I mean, they are fried! And I like "natural casing", so why not.
71. Gazpacho - Perfect summer soup. So flavorful, especially with a splash of really good olive oil.
72. Caviar and blini - Mmmm! I spent a few years catering fancy dinners and I have mad thousands of blini and put together fancy little caviar bites of goodness. If I accidentally made one a little less then round, well I had to get rid of the evidence... with a dollop of creme fraiche and caviar of course.
73. Louche absinthe - I have friends who manage to get their hands on absinthe.. like real absinthe. I'd probably taste it but not DRINK it.
74. Gjetost, or brunost - Again, have never seen a cheese I didn't at least try.
75. Roadkill - Umm... not on purpose unless I was starving... like REALLY starving.
76. Baijiu - I'd sip. You know to try it.
77. Hostess Fruit Pie - Blackberry was my favorite!
78. Snail - Uh, butter and garlic in a shell... with a little chewy bit. SURE! But its a delicacy, not a meal for sure!
79. Lapsang souchong -Many Many cups full!
80. Bellini - Mmmm white peach and champagne. Yum!
81. Tom yum - My first Thai food favorite! Adore this soup! Eric often orders rice so he can stretch this very flavorful soup into a meal.
82. Eggs Benedict - This is my breakfast love. I judge a breakfast joint by its hollandaise but I must try it if they have it.
83. Pocky - There are so many flavors now! This is an office favorite treat. Very easy to share.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant - I've never been to a three-Michelin-star restaurnat but I'd LOVE to! I often get the tasting menu when out for a special meal and I really want to experience the chef's work.
85. Kobe beef - I've had it a few times, and I've also had Wagu Beef, which is the same kind of beef but hasn't been finished in Japan. It really is lovely as long as it isn't cooked beyond medium rare. Kobe tartar was probably the best!
86. Hare - Rabbit is like tender chicken. I've only had little ones, so I don't know if that would be considered "hare".
87. Goulash - I made this once for a report on Hungary. It was tasty.
88. Flowers - Love the edible flowers.
89. Horse - Hmm... I've never had it, but I wouldn't not if I were in a place where that's what they do. My brother said he got pizza in Italy that had horse on it.
90. Criollo chocolate - Oh YEA! I've had lots. Maybe too much.
91. Spam - Fried up with an egg and rice please! Oh, the spicy kind if you got it.
92. Soft shell crab - Spider roll was one of the first sushi rolls I ever tried. I rarely get it now because its a little expensive but its good!
93. Rose harissa - I don't know. know I've had Harissa sauce, but I don't know about rose harissa.
94. Catfish - Plenty of times and I think it tastes like the dirt they eat at the bottom of the crick. Yes I said Crick!
95. Mole poblano - Mmm Hmmm!
96. Bagel and lox - Yes please! I hate to pay for it, but I do love to eat it!
97. Lobster Thermidor - I love lobster, but I'd be afraid that the thermidor part would just loose out on the awesomeness that lobster is. Oh, but don't worry I'm sure I'd eat it and LOVE it!
98. Polenta - I go through stages where I'll make a ton of polenta. Of course I make it with a bunch of cream and cheese. Oh yea!
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee - So nice! I'm not a coffee snob, but I will never pass up Jamaican Blue Mountain. It's very good.
100. Snake - Like crocodile, I've only have had it fried so it wasn't very distinctive.
Wow, that was surprising... and took a really long time. I have a lot of bold going on up there and not too many crossed out. I'm a fan of food and eating and trying things so it's not too surprising I guess.
Friday, November 28, 2008
TV Guilty Pleasure
I watch my fair share of TLC shows and I they are a bit of a guilty pleasure... no obsession. That network is so marketed right at me. I'm not much for the reality shows of MTV or ABC, but give me a show about families living their lives they way they do everyday and I'm hooked. Sure, sure, they get endorsement deals from local companies ALL THE TIME but if they can work it, then power to them. These shows won't last forever so they need to squeeze everything they can out of them while they last. I mean, they are opening up their lives both the pretty and the ugly to be taped, edited and then for us to watch over and over again.
I started out watching TLC mainly for shows like 'What Not to Wear' and 'Trading Spaces' (which I'm so over!), but these family shows bring out the voyeur in me and I guess maybe my love of sociology. 'Little People, Big World' sucked me in really fast. Watching the kids grow up and the whole family dealing with adversity, different challenges and well... differing personalities. I found it fascinating.
And now, I fully admit I am one of the people out there who have fallen completely in love with the Gosselins from 'Jon & Kate Plus 8'. Sure they fight, and they don't always speak kindly to each other, but I love that they are REAL. Their kids are adorable (I want Asian babies!) and all very different. I realize there is a lot of controversy around them making money off of their kids, but I guess it's up to them and well... I am fully guilty of enjoying watching their kids grow up and Jon and Kate figuring out parenting with 8 kids. There is also a fair amount of "is this real" rumors, but whatever . Do what you gotta do!
Recently, TLC started airing a commercial campaign for their "Family Monday Nights" which I feel is so well done that I must share it here. The song is "Beautiful Life" by Fisher, which I was so happy to find and had to buy. The three shows they are promo'ing here are 'Jon & Kate plus 8', 'Little People, Big World', and the new 'Twins, Twins & Sextuplets' (so new, it doesn't even have a web page yet).
Then Jon and Kate had a few episodes showing their Vow Renewal in Hawaii. This commercial actually gets me choked up. I don't know if it's the loving smiles at the beginning, or the lighting, or more of this song which I love. Just a REALLY well produced 30 second spot.
I know, I know. Totally guilty!
BTW - if you look up these commercials on YouTube, many people have posted videos they took of their TV's. I guess we're not the only ones who thought they were well done. Eric and I actually TiVo'd the commercial and watched it multiple times. (CRAZY!)
I started out watching TLC mainly for shows like 'What Not to Wear' and 'Trading Spaces' (which I'm so over!), but these family shows bring out the voyeur in me and I guess maybe my love of sociology. 'Little People, Big World' sucked me in really fast. Watching the kids grow up and the whole family dealing with adversity, different challenges and well... differing personalities. I found it fascinating.
And now, I fully admit I am one of the people out there who have fallen completely in love with the Gosselins from 'Jon & Kate Plus 8'. Sure they fight, and they don't always speak kindly to each other, but I love that they are REAL. Their kids are adorable (I want Asian babies!) and all very different. I realize there is a lot of controversy around them making money off of their kids, but I guess it's up to them and well... I am fully guilty of enjoying watching their kids grow up and Jon and Kate figuring out parenting with 8 kids. There is also a fair amount of "is this real" rumors, but whatever . Do what you gotta do!
Recently, TLC started airing a commercial campaign for their "Family Monday Nights" which I feel is so well done that I must share it here. The song is "Beautiful Life" by Fisher, which I was so happy to find and had to buy. The three shows they are promo'ing here are 'Jon & Kate plus 8', 'Little People, Big World', and the new 'Twins, Twins & Sextuplets' (so new, it doesn't even have a web page yet).
Then Jon and Kate had a few episodes showing their Vow Renewal in Hawaii. This commercial actually gets me choked up. I don't know if it's the loving smiles at the beginning, or the lighting, or more of this song which I love. Just a REALLY well produced 30 second spot.
I know, I know. Totally guilty!
BTW - if you look up these commercials on YouTube, many people have posted videos they took of their TV's. I guess we're not the only ones who thought they were well done. Eric and I actually TiVo'd the commercial and watched it multiple times. (CRAZY!)
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
And a belated Thanksgiving to my friends up North!
Tonight my parents came over for a fairly simple meal to celebrate Thanksgiving and my father's birthday. I forgot to make the rolls, and then I forgot to put the baked potatoes in to bake, the grill flamed up while I wasn't paying attention and put a little extra "color" and "crust of flavor" on the ribeyes, but in the end it all turned out just fine. We had a lovely meal, and visit.
The only sad part of the night was knowing my brother was up in Canada alone tonight. His wife went home for a surprise party for her mom and my brother had to work. I wish he could have come down to have dinner with us but the 20 hour drive was a bit much. Although I did ask! Multiple times! Maybe next year.
I hope you all had wonderful times with your families tonight.
And a belated Thanksgiving to my friends up North!
Tonight my parents came over for a fairly simple meal to celebrate Thanksgiving and my father's birthday. I forgot to make the rolls, and then I forgot to put the baked potatoes in to bake, the grill flamed up while I wasn't paying attention and put a little extra "color" and "crust of flavor" on the ribeyes, but in the end it all turned out just fine. We had a lovely meal, and visit.
The only sad part of the night was knowing my brother was up in Canada alone tonight. His wife went home for a surprise party for her mom and my brother had to work. I wish he could have come down to have dinner with us but the 20 hour drive was a bit much. Although I did ask! Multiple times! Maybe next year.
I hope you all had wonderful times with your families tonight.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Is it Worth It?
Last night, we ventured out to get a few colder weather clothing items. Eric adores soft fleecy loungey pants and when he has them, he will wear them all winter. Over the years they have become more difficult to find. Usually Old Navy is our best bet, but they don't have them for long when they do carry them. So that's where we went.
While we were there he did find his pants (very happy boy! and one who will now wait for me to do my thing since he's had a successful trip).
I went wandering into the massive piles of denim to see about finding a new pair of jeans. I had gained some weight recently and out of my large stash of jeans, I've only been able to fit into a single pair. Yes, this means I've been doing laundry multiple times a week because this girl pretty much just wears jeans and t-shirts and when she only has one pair to wear.... well, you get the idea.
I had to dig through piles of jeans to find the style and size I like. While in the dressing room with my find, I overheard that all denim would be one sale 50% on Black Friday. Now I knew why there was such a mass of jeans all over the place, piled high on tables instead of in the normally pretty neat stacks. The manager was telling a woman she could bring her receipt back on Friday to get the price match, but she'd have to wait in like with everyone else.
I hemmed and hawed about coming back on Friday to try to dig through the stacks again to find my size/style or to come back with my receipt both while dealing with long lines and crowds (at 5am mind you!). While these jeans aren't designer jeans expensive, I don't sneeze at the $30 price tag. I decided to walk out with my full priced jeans and haven't decided if getting up at 5am and standing in line outside is worth the savings. I did get 2 pairs, so that would be like getting a pair for free. errrr... is my sleep and sanity worth it?
Will I even try to do any shopping on Friday?
Will you?
While we were there he did find his pants (very happy boy! and one who will now wait for me to do my thing since he's had a successful trip).
I went wandering into the massive piles of denim to see about finding a new pair of jeans. I had gained some weight recently and out of my large stash of jeans, I've only been able to fit into a single pair. Yes, this means I've been doing laundry multiple times a week because this girl pretty much just wears jeans and t-shirts and when she only has one pair to wear.... well, you get the idea.
I had to dig through piles of jeans to find the style and size I like. While in the dressing room with my find, I overheard that all denim would be one sale 50% on Black Friday. Now I knew why there was such a mass of jeans all over the place, piled high on tables instead of in the normally pretty neat stacks. The manager was telling a woman she could bring her receipt back on Friday to get the price match, but she'd have to wait in like with everyone else.
I hemmed and hawed about coming back on Friday to try to dig through the stacks again to find my size/style or to come back with my receipt both while dealing with long lines and crowds (at 5am mind you!). While these jeans aren't designer jeans expensive, I don't sneeze at the $30 price tag. I decided to walk out with my full priced jeans and haven't decided if getting up at 5am and standing in line outside is worth the savings. I did get 2 pairs, so that would be like getting a pair for free. errrr... is my sleep and sanity worth it?
Will I even try to do any shopping on Friday?
Will you?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Working from Bed
Today I started off tired... starting to sound like a broken record with that one, and I pretty much remained tired all day long. I was working from home today and pretty much stayed in bed. I already had my laptop at the ready next to me from checking on the late night blogger posts last night, so here is where I worked... oh yea, I'm back here again to read up on blogs and to write a little myself, though I promise you I did shower and leave the house for a short while.
I'm finding I'm in this position a whole lot lately. Laying here, with my laptop propped up just so typing away. Usually I have at least one cat squishing on me and keeping me company (my favorite part of working from home on occasion.). I had my handy phone with headset with me for my calls into meetings, and a jug of water by my side. I was set!
Funny how while I don't feel like I exert much more energy while I'm at the office, this whole working from bed thing finally left me sort of energized by the evening, instead of crashing the moment I got home from my commute. Don't worry, I'm still just about to fall asleep which I'm off to do now. Good night!
I'm finding I'm in this position a whole lot lately. Laying here, with my laptop propped up just so typing away. Usually I have at least one cat squishing on me and keeping me company (my favorite part of working from home on occasion.). I had my handy phone with headset with me for my calls into meetings, and a jug of water by my side. I was set!
Funny how while I don't feel like I exert much more energy while I'm at the office, this whole working from bed thing finally left me sort of energized by the evening, instead of crashing the moment I got home from my commute. Don't worry, I'm still just about to fall asleep which I'm off to do now. Good night!
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