Love Quiz

I saw this over at Stealthybean and I think it's pretty accurate. Ok, ok, maybe I dig the Valentine's day thing a bit. But I still don't need all of the hoopla.

You Are A Romantic Realist

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Mean I Have to PLAN the Wedding?

I seem to think I'm going to get married soon, yet I've planned not a thing and the potential date we settled on, is starting to get really close. We have much to do. Much to decide on. Much shopping and planning and... oh hell, let's elope. Oh wait, eloping still involves planning. CRAP!

So I mentioned this wedding thing up there... yea, right up there, it was mere seconds since your eyes scanned over it. So I keep saying to everyone, "Yea, so we might elope, but I still want the dress, the flowers and the pictures! Oh, and a few people there would be ideal." The thing is, if I still want all of these things, then I still need to make plans, sign contracts and write checks (which require money to back them up, have you heard?). My mom says she is fine with whatever we decide, but I totally heard the pain in her voice when she said that. Eric's mom is actually hoping we elope (don't know what that's about). And our siblings are both down with the date we've given them, but are waiting on confirmation before any flights are booked.

We had finally agreed on a date in June that seemed good for the "must have" guests. But then we think about how much money we could save if we elope now and get Eric on my benefits, and just do a really little thing. But that isn't very romantic or memorable, or really what falls in line with what I want. I know I need to find that balance, and balance is not something I'm really known to find in any aspect of my life. It's one extreme or the other. I admit that I want to be smart with this wedding, and I'm not really an extravagant person, even my dream wedding has a small number of guests but in a location that isn't really easy for people flying in, and therefore pricey.

Plus the thought of asking people to spend 100's of dollars for a weekend where we can only provide one meal, just seems like asking too much. I've never flown anywhere for a wedding, but I'm sure I would for a close friend or relative. We're flying to New Orleans for a wedding in April, so I know people do it, but it just seems so foreign to me. And then it comes down to actually choosing and sadly, ranking people, and not wanting people to feel obligated to come if we do choose to invite them when it just doesn't work for them.

Then Eric came up with the idea to get married in an orchard in bloom. Great idea! Sounds gorgeous! Guess when orchards are in bloom? NEXT MONTH! I contacted our orchard of choice and they don't feel comfortable with the liability of an event, but are open to us taking pictures there, which sounds great... but that means I need to find a dress and photographer in um... a month. Not to mention the cake and someone to marry us, oh and what date is good for you?

Oh yea, and then I'd like to be in better shape because my arms are starting wave back at me, and I have a touch of acne on my shoulders that I'd like to go away for the day.

So June is sounding more reasonable, but still, we need to get our butts into gear and get some decisions made, so people can make plans, cakes can be ordered, photographers can be booked. Huh... SF City hall is looking more and more pretty! Or maybe Hawaii. Hawaii is nice!

I'm Sorry that Date isn't Good for Me

We have been putting off planning our wedding for far too long. We have too many family and friends who we would like there, that have to travel so we know we need to let them know as far in advance as possible to allow for vacation time and travel planning. This week we have been trying to solidify our guest list, general details and the big one.. the DATE.

I know we can't make everyone happy, and traveling for a weekend or more for someone else is expensive and sometime sucks, but it's OUR WEDDING!

We'd also like to see these people as much as possible, so if they can be there before the wedding it would be ideal so we can leave for our honeymoon a day or so after. But if we butt the day up too close to school getting out, then people want to stay after and can't come sooner.

My ideal wedding is too expensive for the guests and included expensive lodging and rental cars and much driving, plus flights and a lot of time. We can't afford to pay for everyone, so that dream went out the window. So we are trying to stay more local for us, which will still include flights for many, rental cars, and such, but not as much driving time and slightly cheaper lodging. The whole wedding/honeymoon is going on credit so we're trying to balance dreams with reality. It sucks!

And then there is the guest list. Ranking your friends is not fun, and it forces you to come to terms with friendships that have ended or have waned to the point that when it comes down to numbers you have to cut them.

Perhaps we want too much for our day.
Perhaps we want too many people there.
Perhaps we are too stubborn on who we want there.
Perhaps we are trying to be too accommodating.
Perhaps eloping is a REALLY GOOD IDEA! but then we'd have to pick out witnesses and all hell breaks loose again.

Many of you have gone through this experience. What advice or stories do you have to share?