You mean I have go TO the office?

This getting back into the swing of full-time in the office work is going slowly.

Yesterday I woke up with every intension of getting to the office my 9am. REALLY! Instead I woke up, checked my email and found that my 7am customer call was canceled and somehow got back in bed. I don't even remember laying back down, but around 9:30am I woke up. Guess I'll be working from home today because it would take me until about noon to get into the office, and I would get far more work done if I just stayed home at this point, so off my email was sent to my very understanding management.

Then today I already knew my calls were canceled so I set the alarm for 7:30. This day I was going to purposely go to work a little late.. not too late, just a little late because I'm pooped. And instead I woke up at 1am, then 2am and then at 5am I gave up and just got up. I had taken a decongestant last night and suddenly found myself REALLY irritable. I could only explain it as a side effect from the drug because I was perfectly content before I laid down. Eric had even rubbed my back until I was just about to pass out.

I headed to the train station before the sun came up and was thrilled when I got to the platform with time to spare. I got on the train to find no seats. I walked through 5 cars to the front of the train to still find no seat to put my tired arse. So I stood until exactly the next stop. The jostling of the train was too much for me to bear as my abdominals are still pretty weak and those internal incisions do not like this whole wearing pants thing. This made me feel like a weakling and even more cranky so I disboarded that train to wait for the next.

I felt like crying. I wanted to call Eric to tell him I'm coming home because someone, somewhere was telling me that I should go back home and work from there because going all the way into the office was pointless. But of course Eric also ended up with a sleepless night, so he was currently finally asleep on the couch downstairs and I didn't want to wake him with my whining. So I bucked up and got on the next train.

The rest of my commute was eventless. I found I was probably in the only car with the heater on and although some people complained, I LOVED it! I read a few chapters of my book, and soon found myself dosing off. A lovely little nap. I then transfered trains and read my book the rest of my journey.

I got into the office, hours before my teammates and had a very productive few hours. Then a little break for some blogging activity while I eat a sinful Krispy Kreme doughnut and a glass of cold milk (company provided of course!). As of now, this whole going to work thing is going to turn around for the better! (I've decided)

New Snack Find

I am a Tivo user. Yes, its true. I don't usually know what movies are coming out, I haven't seen that funny commercial people are talking about around the water cooler and I even tend to keep my head buried when it comes to the terrible news that fills the channels. So last weekend when we were in a little produce market which is mainly filled with various South American flavors and ingrediants, I was shocked and excited when I saw these new Doritos flavors (YES, I too can't believe I'm writing about Doritos!)

Doritos Collisons is what I saw. Hot Wings and Blue Cheese flavored chips in one bag, and Zesty Taco and Chipotle Ranch chips mixed up together in another.

Mostly, I was fascinated by the idea of Blue Cheese flavored chips. Me loves the feet cheese and I'm a fan of hot wings, so I picked up a 99cent snack bag along with our odd mix of veggies that we got mostly because Eric wanted to plant them (ginger, shallots, and various yams and sweet potatoes).

We were hungry, and even though Eric was disgusted that we had been shopping at Costco and then handling various foods in the produce market, and here we were digging our hands into this bag of chips and happily licking our fingers (yes I lick my fingers like a kid still and no one got sick), we were totally analyzing every bite.

The Hot Wing chips... eh, they tasted like Doritos with a tiny bit more heat, and the Blue Cheese chips tasted kinda like Blue Cheese dressing, but I found I had to make a kind of smacking noise and had to suck in air like you see wine tasters do, in order to really taste it.

All in all, it was a fun little treat.

Who'd a thunk... BLUE CHEESE flavored chips? We've come a long way from putting a little salt on a thinly sliced and fried potato!

The Rich and The Crunchy

Tonight, even though I was so tired by the time I got home, I was even more hungry and couldn't think of something I specifically wanted to eat. I wanted something rich and something crunchy. I was thinking tacos or maybe some crusty bread and butter and a plate of pasta.

On my way home, I called Eric to see if he had any ideas and to find out if he wanted to cook since he was at home and I was still on the train at 7pm, he told me he started looking up restaurant reviews (I guess he didn't want to cook). So we went to an Italian restaurant we've looked at before but never ate at, Luna Restiorante in Concord. It had many, many great reviews.

We were greeted as we walked in the door and immediately seated. We read through the menu and the specials and discussed and discussed the items. SOOooo many great sounding dishes. I really struggled. The waiter didn't come over until I closed the menu, which I appreciated because I don't like the pushy server that seems to just want to get us out of there before we sit down. He said he noted that I was wavering quite a bit with the menu and part of me wished he had come over sooner. I am the type of person who tends to have a hard time making food decisions because I want to make sure there is no chance of Entree Envy or possibly wish I had chosen something else, so I take a long time sometimes. I get ever so slightly annoyed when a server isn't picking up on my signals of I'm not exactly sure what I want and would love some suggestions verses I'm chatting with my friend here and want a little time. I know, I know... yes I expect them to read my mind!

The waiter was eager to help me and told us about their most popular dishes and helped me make my decision. We ordered the Banana Squash Cream Soup, Mushroom and Gorgonzola Bruchetta (for my crunchy craving), I got an item on the specials menu of Gnocchi with Pancetta, Peas, Mushrooms in a tomato cream sauce, and Eric had the Risotto Con Scampi E Granchio. Um... YUM! Everything was wonderful. Rich but not overly so. Flavorful with excellent textures. The prawns, which came with Eric's risotto, reminded us more of lobster as they were far more rich and crisp then your ordinary shrimp. They were clearly either fresh or VERY well cared for frozen shrimp, and perfectly cooked (over/under-cooked shrimp are a pet peeve of mine and a well cooked shrimp says a lot to me about the quality of the kitchen).
We finished up with the Tiramasu and tasty dark roasted decaf coffee, because how can you go out for a spontaneous date without getting dessert? Especially at an Italian restaurant you've never been to, when everything else has been so wonderful you have to find out if their desserts measure up! Since I had about 2/3rds of my entree boxed up, I saved some room for a few bites of mascarpone loveliness! The sauce work was very nicely done that I wished I had my camera so I could share it's beauty with you all. We very much enjoyed the Tiramasu, although I would have preferred it if they didn't drizzle chocolate sauce over it. I found it was too overpowering for the delicate balance of the rum, espresso and marsala flavors in the delicate mascarpone. Perhaps someone that was going for a chocolate dessert would have liked that more, but when I get Tiramasu, I expect to experience the cream and maybe a little chocolate grated on top as a lovely garnish. I just scooped off the chocolate (heaven forbid!) and it was perfect to me.

Everything we ordered helped to satisfy my rich craving and I was all set for the night, but nothing ever felt too heavy. It was all comfortable and soothing. We will definitely be back!

And to think that I considered going to Taco Bell! Woulda been much cheaper, but after spending so much time with Eric everyday and then to be apart all day today, a special night out just seemed appropriate. Plus we both figured, "hey, we worked today," me at my corporate job and Eric landed a new landscaping client, we decided to treat ourselves. Of course we've been "treating" ourselves A LOT lately since I hadn't been cooking. (Hellooooo hips!) Our fridge has had very little fresh anything in it, as its been a lot of frozen meals, take-out and dining out for us. Good thing Eric likes to eat leftovers, I think he'll be having Gnocchi tomorrow!

Back at work (again)

A few months ago I took some time off for our wedding festivities and the time eventually ended and I had to return to work. Then as I've written about, a month and a half later I had to take off more time for a myomectomy. Well, that period of time has ended and today is my first day back at work.

Things I've come to realize:

• Alarms SUCK! - allowing my body to wake up when it wanted to felt much more natural, plus Eric was sick last night with a migraine, which equals him puking, so no one got much sleep. 5am comes quickly when one drifts off to sleep at 2am.
  
• Having to commute to the office sucks more! - rolling out of bed and turning on the laptop was much better then catching trains and transfers and shuttles and walking in the rain to the office.
  
• Gas, train tickets and daily lunches out is expensive! - I was saving SO MUCH MONEY not having to come into the office everyday and dropping $8-15 on lunch. Even though I was on disability and my income dropped significantly, I still managed to save money last month.
  
• Schedules stop ruling my world and I LIKED IT! - I'm a control freak and I like order which includes schedules and to do lists. I had to let go of much of that and now with it creeping back in I want to see if I can find a balance.
  

Thank you for listening. I will try to stop whining about my commute situation soon... you know, as soon as it's no longer a "situation".

The last week of recovery (well full-time recovery)

Over the last 6 weeks of recovery, I have been bouncing in and out of a BLAHness. I had talked to my therapist and my surgeon about the possibility of this since I do have a tendency for the blah and they both told me depression is very often a part of recovery. Well this week I had one major blah day where I couldn't sleep so I went downstairs around 4am and at midnight I went back upstairs to bed. I sat there on the couch, working on this little project for my mom's piano teaching classes. I got up to use the bathroom, water and a ton of junk food I found in the kitchen which I rarely eat. It kinda sucked as days go.

Happily I woke up the next morning feeling great! I had some plans for that day and I was all optimistic about it. I had another post-op appointment with my surgeon who poked around and said that I am clear for getting back up to speed on my life. YAY! I can finally get back out there and do stuff without the fear of riping something open! I'm bummed that I still have some tender/sore spots and my incision has turned into a keloid scar and hurts, but I got a cool photo from during the surgery! (I'd post it but it's kinda gross.) She said that I'll still get exhausted easily and that as I increase my activities, I'll find I'll get stronger and have more energy. Thank goodness, because all of the effects of working out before the wedding has gone all squishy! I know I still need to take things slow but its good to know that the healing is going well enough to get back out there.

So far the rest of this week has been ok. I was exhausted after my day of plans, so I've been sleeping a lot which tends to lead me to blah days, but so far things aren't too bad (at least not as bad as that couch day). I've been able to do more and more work and the house cleaners came today, so that seems to have given me a bit of a boost. This weekend we're going to hang out with some friends we haven't seen since the wedding, and since they asked, I'm going to finally get back into the kitchen to do some baking. Cupcakes and cheesecake anyone?

Next week, I'm back to my true daily grind. I'll be back to my way too long commute and a full day at work, instead of working a few hours from home everyday. I am looking forward to a more focused routine and the camaraderie of my co-workers, but I am not looking forward to the 4 hours spent commuting and having to get up early. I like being able to sleep in if I need to and to take naps, or go on walks when my back is tired of sitting at the desk. And mostly I'm not looking forward to having to put on real clothes, although I do realize that staying in yoga pants and tank tops all day isn't very good for my mood either. Ohhh... and I suppose a full paycheck is a nice little benefit too!

The last 6 weeks have been very interesting and somewhat restful but I miss living. As I said to Eric last night as we ate dinner at a lively Mexican joint where I felt very out of place, I feel like I've been watching other people live their lives, whether on TV, through blogs or out the window and I miss actively living my own. My usual extroverted self has turned very introverted and I sort of have to re-learn how to interact with people again. I'll probably have some major TV withdrawals and will feel like I need to go lay down a few times through the day, but I'm hoping it doesn't take very long to get back into the swing of things again.

First Day of Fall

As good ol' Al Roker told me on the TODAY show, today is the first day of Autumn!

Do you know what I love most about the turn of the season from warm to chilly?

SWEATSHIRTS and FUZZY BLANKETS!

May not be what Eric is thinking of as exciting bedroom attire, but me loves them long time!

Oooo, and putting my chilly feetsies on my HOT running honey in bed. He actually likes this at this time of year because he's still too warm for blankets, so he says it cools him off for a moment or so. Soon, it will be cool enough he won't even need to sleep with the window open and I can put the down comforter back on the bed. How I love that comforter AND fuzzy blankets!

And what is best of all... the kitties are finally starting to cuddle with me again! In the warm months, the kitties rarely even want to sit near us on the couch. I knew I had been cold in bed for the last week or so (but too lazy to pull out the fuzzy blankets) but last night, Cosmo (the skittish of the two kitties - AKA "Skitty") spent much of the night snuggling up to me. He'd cuddle up, and get too warm and stretch out, and cuddle up, and stretch out. I don't think either of us got much sleep last night, but I was just so thrilled to have my baby kitty be all lovey with me, that I didn't mind at all (plus I had nothing planned, so the fact that I got up at 11am wasn't a big deal).

But I must admit, that since it was raining a tad this last week that I started thinking about Christmas already, and along with Christmas thoughts comes EGG NOG LATTE thoughts. Oh how I loves me the Egg Nog Latte! Hell, hold the Latte and just gives me some steamed Egg Nog cut with a little Non-Fat Milk, you know... so it's "healthy".

Sigh! Time to put away the flip flops and darn the turtlenecks. But don't think I'm gonna stop with the pedicures! These piggies still need to be cute even if they are in tennis shoes and boots for the next 6 months! Crap! I need to go shopping!

Kitten Envy

For the last year or so, I have brought up the idea of adding a new kitten to our little family. I don't know if I was transforming my maternal urges into kitten urges or what, as it has definitely been more of a craving then an actual thought out idea.

Well today, we went into a pet supply store for some Cat Gut Lube, as Eric calls the hairball remedy we give to our big boys, and I eyed that the schedule for cat adoptions was not set for today. THANK GOODNESS! Because I may not be able to resist. But then as I walked in, there was the cat lady setting up her little display of kittens all ready for adoption.

Immediately I was drawn to them, and she started her sales pitch. Really she was just very excited to talk to someone about her little babies. She could tell I was a cat person, and she began telling me all sorts of stories about each one. I was totally drawn to the only grey cat in her orange cat herd. He was a grey tabby with big ears and white paws, and oh so talkative and the only one in the bunch that was walking around and wanting to play. The rest were all scared and huddled in the corners of their pens.

I held the little grey one and the grey one's sister and just sat there for about 15 minutes with this little orange kitten as it snuggled into my chest. Eric was hooked. I was sure that if I said I wanted one, he would cave. He really liked the grey tabby.
But then a little boy and his parents showed up. They didn't really take much of an interest, but the man said to the cat lady... we'll take that one, as he pointed to the grey tabby! The cat lady was hesitant I'm assuming because they didn't even seem to want to interact with any of the cats, let alone the one they said they wanted to take home. She turned to me and asked if I was interested in that kitten, I guess since I was there first and had been playing with him. I said we really can't take a kitten home today. So she had them fill out the paper work, and I just stood there. I was shocked that she was going to let them take this kitten home. Suddenly I wanted to take the kitten. I didn't REALLY want to disrupt our little happy home with a kitten, but I didn't want this family to take him either.

I suppose the cat lady can't be too picky when she has so many that she is fostering. I hope that family knows what they are getting into and that they were just sort of shy in the store. I hope the cat lady has the policy that if one of her adopters ever need to get rid of a cat, that they have to take it back to her. I'd really hate to see such a sweet little ball of energy end up in the pound because it was "too much trouble".

Shuffling in the Dark

Living in a tightly packed townhouse complex, we end up living with a lot of neighbors. Their late nights, become out late nights, their home improvement projects become our pounding headaches. Well tonight, at this late hour of 10:30pm, I came up to our office to check my email since I didn't feel well today and stayed horizontal and away from the computer. It's a tad warm up here so our window is open, and I can hear the occasional shuffling of feet outside.

Just behind our unit is a circle of grass which is surrounded by other units and parking lots. The lighting out there isn't too good, so I can't really see what is going on, but every few minutes or so I can hear shuffling, and after a few more minutes that shuffling is accompanied by panting. I say to Eric that I think I hear someone out there running laps. He says that the other night he saw a young girl out there doing laps and that she didn't look like she was doing very well, and that she was a little .... (as he makes the gesture that she was probably a little rounder). By that time, her panting had turned into sobs. I can barely make her out by the few lights in the area, but I can see her stop, hunched over, and then push herself to keep going. Soon someone has come out to get her, telling her to stop and to go to bed, and despite her protests the sobs and shuffling went silent.

So I wonder. Is she sneaking out to run? Is she feeling the pressure to be more fit or is it to be thin?
I couldn't help but feel sad for her. I wanted to go out and hug her, but somewhere in me I also wanted to get out there and run with her. Of course I have no idea what this girl's actual story is, but I immediately started projecting my own and many other girls (and guys) story onto her.

I hope that in that home she went to tonight, the people there are being supportive of her, and not berating her for her battles and challenges. I wonder if we will hear those shuffling footsteps again tomorrow night.

Wordless Wednesday

Man-Tan

I don't know if anyone else will find this amusing... but I do, so I thought I should chronicle this morning's little event.

My husband, my usually very un-vain and "Berkeley" husband (as we like to describe him), has spent the morning exfoliating and using a sunless tanning lotion to even himself out so he doesn't look like a "farmer".
Of course I too tried this before the wedding to even out my tan lines so they wouldn't show so much with my strapeless dress, and my husband tried as well so he wouldn't look so "farmer-esque" in Hawaii. He was slightly disappointed with the results before, so he bought a more powerful lotion this time and he's giving it another go.
You see, my husband is a landscaper by trade so he's in the sun ALL of the time. No matter how much sunscreen he applies and re-applies, he tans. His beautiful olive skin just simply likes to be tan. VERY TAN. If you were to see him shirtless, you'd note that he wears t-shirts often, as there are very distinct lines of demarcation. I don't mind the lines in the slightest, I just beg that he applies more sunscreen as I'd prefer him not to have to battle skin cancer, as so many in his profession do.

Plus, I'd rather have the lines then the smell of that tanner. Ohh wee!

Why do I care?

I admit it, I'm a girl who is perfect. Perfectly set in her ways that is (which are very well thought out and pretty darn close to perfect!). Oh sure, I can change if you give me good reason too, but I have to be the one to decide on the changing and the when and the how. But when it comes to certain matters, I have a pretty good track record of being right. Eric agrees, it's not just me thinking I'm the bomb. (I really don't!.... REALLY! stop rolling your eyes! I can see you!)

So I want to know, why the hell do I care when I see someone do something a little differently then myself. Just because it's not the way I would have done something, as long as the end product is the same/equivalent/acceptable, that's what matters right? RIGHT?

I really wish I could just be more laid back, and not care about how something is done, as long as it gets done. Or really, does that thing HAVE to be done right now like I'd do it, or really can it wait? This is something I'd like to improve in myself. Perhaps this is a little bit about letting go of my control freak ways... just maybe. Maybe it means I am looking to be a better partner and friend, because why on earth would I want to be upset with someone I like or love?

Since before the wedding, I have been learning how to ask for help. This isn't something that came easily to me, seriously! So lately, during my recovery period, when I really couldn't take care of the things I'd normally take care of, I have been having to ask for even more help and have had to let other people take care of things. Sometimes not everything is done exactly how I'd do it or to my silly standards, and I'd feel myself get irritated. It just didn't seem right that I'd be feeling this way towards someone doing something to help me, and I am honestly getting sick of myself. I'm finding the fact that I get irritated, is more irritating then the initial irritation trigger, and I want it to stop. (did you all follow that?) The way I see it (and I'm sure there are plenty of other great ways to see it, because really I know I'm not perfect) the only way to make it stop is to either continue my control freak ways and and re-take over everything or learn to not care so much about the little stuff.

I started working on this a while ago and tonight I didn't even sigh when Eric stopped at MULTIPLE stop signs but well past the limit line. See? I'm getting better! Now to get rid of the impulse to sigh... that's the next step. I admit that I did point out his speed about 4 times though.

Wish me luck!

My appologies

Back here, when I was talking about my little book reading spree, I mentioned the book that I just finished, Peony in Love, was a sequel to Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. My bad, because it was not a sequel. It just so happened that the main character in the new book, Peony, had the same name as a baby that was born at the end of the author's previous book.

You could see how that mistake could be made, huh?

So that makes 4 books read in a few weeks. Maybe it's time for a few magazines again, I'm tired.

What's the deal?

Kids everywhere have birthdays right? Kids of all social economic situations grow up, just like the kid around the corner or in the penthouse.

So why is there a feeling of pressure for the families to have the perfect party? Have cute meaningful favors, fun activities, bounce houses, food, and more and more guests? Some even have multiple parties. And then there are the gifts. The parent's gift has got to be a big one right? or does it? I mean, the kid IS getting a party after all! Do they really need that gift they think they HAVE to have, even though the reviews you've read about it mostly all say it really sucks?

Have little kid parties always been this big production? I admit, I remember one extravagant party in my growing up years. Namely where I got to take my friends to an amusement park and my parents made the mistake of always allowing me as many friends as the age I was turning, so this 10 year old party was PRICEY! But mostly, the parties I went to and the ones my parents threw me were about the cake, most likely some pizza, maybe some games, and a bunch of giggling girls. I certainly only remember the amusement park one, (who wouldn't?, my mom was insane!) and I think my 9th, where the biggest fun of the day was putting balloons on the canopy of my bed, blind folding each girl as she arrived and then dumping the balloons on her. Lucky for my mom, after my 10th, I was done with the parties. (well, until my 21st, but I paid for that one).

But I don't remember as a kid, that it was about who had this, and who did that. Was that pressure there, and I didn't realize it? Did the pressure come from the other parents or the kids? Where does it come from now? Or have the kids just come to expect it?

As you all know, I don't personally have kids, but I have a lot of kids through my friends and family, and I hear about these parties and listen to the stressed out mom's putting them on.

Please tell me, parents out there,... what's the deal?

Someone come beat me over the head, but not with a book please?

As I mentioned right down there, I have been hit with some sort of Reading Rock and can't seem to stop. Of course this is a wonderful turn of events as I usually struggle with reading as it takes me so darn long as I have to say every single word in my head in order for me to absorb it, but that is getting faster with practice. The issue is that I LOVE to read in bed. That is where I can prop myself up with tons of pillows so all of my tender spots don't hurt so much, and I don't get a crick in my neck like I do when I sit on the couch.

So this causes a not so great side effect... I'm not going to sleep until sometime in the AM!

Last night, Eric pulled an all nighter as he had to prepare for a client meeting bright and early this morning, and I HATE to go to sleep when he's not there so I picked up a new book and started in on it. The next thing I knew I was half way through the book and Eric was no where about ready to come to bed, and I soon found myself dosing off. It was likely about 3am when I removed my glasses, but for some reason didn't turn off the light.

But then the worst thing about reading and filling it with stories before going to sleep... I had very active and stressful dreams. At some point, Eric found that I had fallen asleep with the light on and turned it off. I suddenly awoke in a panic and started frantically yelling for him. I know I had been dreaming, but I don't know what it was about and I found myself sweating and I had tears in my eyes. Thankfully Eric took the time to lay with me and calm me down so I could go back to sleep.

A few hours later, Eric came in to kiss my forehead as he had to leave for an early morning drive into San Francisco to present his work to a client. I was exhausted and still felt this all over frantic feeling, but I was awake and couldn't go back to sleep.

So now I sit here, REALLY wanting to pick up my book to finish it, but I just can't shake this icky feeling. Perhaps a short walk outside (which I still haven't done alone since my surgery and should probably get over that hurdle), and then maybe lay down for a nap with my lovey when he returns from his meeting, as I'm sure he is going to be exhausted. Man! My shoulders are practically at my ears. Relax girl! Relax!

Reading Rocks!

First off, I must say that I'm NOT a reader. I loved it when I first started in Kindergarten and then in 1st and 2nd grade, it was still great and I did really well, but then I got behind in 3rd grade because I was in the hospital for a few weeks, and I never quite caught up since then. From then on, the schools always struggled where to place me, because I excelled in Math but struggled in Reading, so I was always bored when they put me in with the "slower" kids, but fell behind when they moved me with the "advanced" kids. I understand, but still hate that they lumped both skills together for placement.

So now as an adult, I tend to go in phases where I love to read, and then where it can't hold my attention and I'd much rather stare at a glowing box and have it tell me the story, or look at pictures in magazines, or read recipes in cookbooks. I swear I didn't pick up a book to read cover to cover for about 2 years until the last Harry Potter book came out, which I then proceeded to read as fast as I could, which for many took 1 day, but it took me at least a week.

But then with my recovery period of being stuck at home, I have gotten VERY bored with television and DVDs so I have happily turned to books. Grated yes, I am now back doing a few hours of work from home everyday so that is helping with some brain exercises, but when I'm not working I don't reach for the remote, I reach for a book. In fact, yesterday Eric kept coming downstairs for a break from his landscape design work in our home office, to find me working in the living room with the laptop perched on my lap (go figure), and he'd click on the TV. I'd usually keep working and glance up every few minutes, but when he'd go back upstairs, I kept having to ask him to please turn off the TV. To say the least, he was shocked, as I'm a total television junky.

Since I have been home, I have read 3 books. This may seem like a week's reading to many of you, but for me this would normally take me a few months. And last night, I picked up a new book, (Something Blue) and put it down, finished in one sitting. I've NEVER done that! Granted it was a sequel to the book I had finished the day before (Something Borrowed) so there was little character development needed, but I just plowed right through it, with a few breaks near the end to blow my nose and wipe away the tears. (I'm such a sap - the main character gave birth and got married)

Today after I work for a few, I'm picking up the sequel to the first book I read, which was Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. My sister-in-law recommended the first book, and when I mentioned I heard there was a new book by the author, she shipped one out to me for my birthday. So I will start, Peony In Love today.

Read on folks! Read on!

So Sad!

At a local Six Flags, Discovery Kingdom (previously Marine World), a 2 year old giraffe died last night! There was a fire in the giraffe barn and one of the giraffes didn't have access to the outside pen and was trapped. They say he was overcome by smoke.

This brings up something in me that I have struggled with much of my life. I used to LOVE animal parks and zoos. I had the dream to be a whale/dolphin trainer. I researched the career, I figured out what school I wanted to go to, and where I wanted to intern at, and also wanted to get my Marine Biology degree to increase my knowledge. I started volunteering 2 nights a week at the Marine Mammal Center mainly working with Elephant Seals, CA Sea Lions, and Harbor Seals. That was when I was seriously considering becoming an Animal Health Technician (Vet Assistant) with a specialty in large animals. At the center I worked with the Vet from Marine World and was given the opportunity to intern there, so get more large animal experience. And this was about when I was stricken by my distaste for keeping animals captive for the main purpose of entertaining people.

Oh sure, there is always the point of education, and studying the animals, and I truly do believe that some of these parks are half-heartedly living up to that, but I am sure not all of them are. I don't know, maybe I was too effected by Free Willy, but every time I do go to one of these animal parks, I inevitably will cry at some point during my visit. Partly for the animals and partly for me not following my dreams.

So yes, I still go to these parks, but in the last few years I have only gone when my radio station is hosting a special listeners day, so I don't actually pay to get in. I do pay for food though, and I realize I am totally being hypocritical, so this is why I'm torn. I enjoy these parks, but I don't know if they are really a good thing.

The local park we have here is especially bad though. Originally, Marine World Africa USA (as it was named before it moved), was a rather large animal park with mainly only animals. There were some small kiddie rides, and games but that was it. It really did seem to be more about the animals. But then the park lost their lease on the land and moved to a smaller location, they lost the Africa USA part of the name, but still had some of the non-marine animals. The new park wasn't nearly as grand, and within a few years it started struggling. And then Six Flags came in to save the day. They expanded the park into the parking lot to add huge roller coasters, and started adding in rides in any little area they could find. The animals started showing stress, and getting sick, and the energy of the park completely changed. The giraffe area always particularly upset me, because it was really small and pretty bare.

I still really struggle with how I feel about zoos and animal parks. Perhaps I need to go back to volunteering to ease some of my guilt.

Hint Hint

Today I received a forwarded email from my mother-in-law. She originally sent this email to her sister, and then apparently decided to forward the same email to her two kids and her kids-in-law.

... Still have not heard from either of my kids. I am going to do like Leona Helmsley and leave my fortune to my dog. When you see the end coming for me, please go out and buy me one. Have a great day!

I think someone should give this woman a call.

Is it the same?

For that last week I have practically had an obsession with watching all of those baby shows on TV, specifically the TLC network. I've always liked these shows since I've been fighting off the maternal urges for about 10 years now. The show I watch the most right now is Bringing Home Baby as they follow families with newborns for the first 36 hours at home, and then revisit them 8 weeks later. I have been watching to see how women who have c-sections deal with the pain AND the visitors AND the changes in their lives, oh yea AND the newborn.

Since I already know that if we have a baby, that I will have to have a c-section, I have been curious to see if the pain I experienced with my surgery is similar. Most of the women look like they are moving around a little more then I had been in the fist few days, but apparently the recovery either varies by person, or some of these women just don't want to really show what kind of pain they are in. And then there are some women who look just like I did, and that freaks me out, because going through this again WITH a newborn is kind of scary.

I suppose I have learned as much as I wanted to get out of these shows now as I am deleting more then I actually watch. I still find the stories very touching and interesting to watch the new parents figure things out, but I don't think I need anymore reminder of what has passed and what is hopefully yet to happen.

Seriously?

No more then 24 hours since the carpets were cleaned.... PUKE! Freakin' cat puke in the hallway right outside my bedroom door, saying GOOD MORNING!

And then a few hours after I find that, Eric spills Soy Milk as he sits in front of the TV with his cereal bowl.

I totally live with boys!

Executive Decisions

What's the point of being home on disability if you don't get to splurge a little and milk the pain for all it's worth?

Even though we do have a slight cash situation since I'm not getting my usual paycheck, I've make the executive decision to hire a house cleaner while I'm down and out, and today the living room, stairs and upstairs hallway carpets are getting cleaned.
We've talked about a house cleaner for a while now, since both of us are working and just can't seem to keep up on everything. And now that I'm home recovering, but still can't do anything, and I am a bit of a clean freak, I have to sit and stare at the cobwebs, the dust, and the dirty bathtub, so a hundred dollars seems worth my sanity. Even though I want everything to be clean, we still tend to be clutter leavers, where within a day or two of de-cluttering a space, there will inevitably be crap strewn about. I have no problem leaving stuff around, but that surface under the crap had better be clean! So we are hoping that by having a house cleaner come every other week, we will be motivated to keep the clutter to a minimum so we don't have such a mad dash to throw everything into a closet somewhere the morning they are due to arrive. The current plan is to just do this while I can't clean myself, but we'll see.
And the carpets, well are disgusting due to kitties with tender tummies, and a husband that likes to eat in front of the TV, and can't seem to get the food to his mouth consistently. For years he has had the argument that we are just going to replace the carpet with wood anyway (well, fake wood) so he said we could put the carpet cleaning money toward the new floor. Well, that was 3 years ago he started saying that because we can't do the floor until we do the kitchen remodel and we have been putting that off for those 3 years. He has reasoned with me about renting a Rug Doctor and doing it himself, and he did that once, but it just didn't work very well and the stains came back up within a week. The professional carpet cleaning is another 100 buckaroos, and well.... I got a few bonus' this year, so again with the executive decision.

Yes, I realize that executive decisions about money are not the best for a new marriage. I mean, Eric does get to say his opinion, and I weigh that opinion with my wants and desires, so ....

The house is now clean, and the carpets are back to a lovely light beige with only 1 or 2 light spots they couldn't get out. The only bad room in the house is the home office, as Eric's new business plus his organizational style has taken over that room. Perhaps hiring a professional organizer could be my next move.... Hmmmm.

Flexing my Power

So a few weeks ago I was complaining that it was a little chilly here and I was having to wear sweaters and using blankets at night. Well... so much for that. It has been getting warmer and warmer and today it will go into the triple digits. And the powers that be have declared today a Spare the Air day and a Flex your Power day.

Normally I would be taking advantage of the free public transportation triggered by the "Spare the Air" day on my commute to work, which is close to the coast so it is at least 30 degrees cooler. But instead I am home healing, and HOT! We're not supposed to run our A/C as much as possible, or run any major appliances (great excuses to pick up a book eh?)

So instead of sitting in my very warm home, my good friend Liz is coming to get me to meet up with Julie for a lovely lunch. And then later today, Eric will take me to a local day spa for a massage to help relieve my very stiff and spasming back. And then.... dinner with my friends and their families, this time adding on Dot. Oh, did I say dinner? well I mean a dinner of gelato! To help us all cool off on this VERY warm day!

Happy 2 Month Anniversary!

Today it has been 2 months since that whirlwind filled day that I got married. That day was such a daze, and went by so fast. I was exhausted and kinda loopy due to the fact that I had hardly any blood, since I had hemorrhaged the day before. We have been through some stressful and challenging events in the last 2 months, but they have only brought us even closer together.

Since I am home during the day as I recover from surgery, I finally felt up to a little trip out to the Social Security Administrators office to officially change my name. I had filled out the form 2 days after the wedding, but wasn't feeling up to the trip to the office by myself. I also wasn't quite ready to decide on my new name. Would I move my madden name to my middle name? But I love my middle name. Would I hyphenate? But I never though I'd ever want to do that. So I filled out the entire form and left that one line blank. This morning, as I grabbed all of the documents to the take to the SSA office, I stopped to fill in my new name. I kept my first and middle name, and took Eric's last name.

So as far as the SSA is concerned, I no longer have an EASY 3 letter last name which always put me at the back of the classroom, but now am at the front of the class with 7 letters, with a name that was munged by the Ethel Island folks, including throwing in a silent 'H'. I'll hit the DMV on Monday afternoon, and then will start the joys of changing all of my accounts too.

Happy 2 Month Anniversary Lovey! I am very happy to finally share your name.

Hospital Recovery

The first day of my recovery I again don't remember that much, but some important events happened. I finally got off of the pain med pump which was making me itchy all over, and would knock me out within minutes of me pushing the button. I was introduced to Percocet. Hellooooo Percoset! More flowers arrived. I was visited by my parents, and my friends Julie, Maya and Dorothy. The CATHER was removed. YAY! I used the bathroom all by myself, and the biggest... Eric took me for my first walk.

On the second day of my recovery in the hospital, I was moved to a different room, in a new nurses station area, and now, with a roommate (the first of 3).

I wasn't able to really focus on anything. TV, books, nothing really held my attention. But thankfully I had my lovely cell phone with texting, IM and email capabilities, so I could communicate with my friends and family. My thumbs got pretty quick if I do say so myself.... ok, not fast enough for IM, but it was still a good distraction.

By this time I was getting up to us the restroom, and Eric would walk me around as far as I could go. I still had these air compression sleeves on my legs to help prevent blood clots, but once I was walking regularly (day 3?) the nurses finally said I could take them off. I was eating a bit more, but for some reason, I wasn't asking for pain meds in the middle of the night, even though I was getting up 3 times a night to use the bathroom, and each night I would wake up in a puddle of sweat as I had a fever each night.

My doctor was still concerned about my continued blood loss especially since I lost so much during surgery, so now we were waiting to see if my body would mend itself so I could avoid a blood transfusion. She was also a little concerned about how tender certain parts of my belly were since there were some complications around my fallopian tubes during surgery. She showed me pictures of the fibroids and of my uterus as she HELD IT OUTSIDE OF MY BODY! She pointed to the tubes and all of the parts of it. CRAZY! She said that the report had come back on the fibroids and they appeared to be "normal" fibroids and no cancerous (YAY!), and together they weighed in at 1 kilo. She visited right when I was trying to eat breakfast, and can I tell you how quickly nausea can come on when you mix a high dose of narcotics, french toast and turkey sausage, and having your fallopian tubes pointed out to you in a picture? Thankfully they have drugs which quickly make the nausea go away.

By Day 3 I had a new roommate who was suffering from an infection after a hysterectomy 4 weeks earlier. We were the youngest people on the floor, and the nurses seemed to like to come in to chat with us. Odd. My appetite was definitely coming back, and I could stand a little TV watching here and there. I also finally picked up a book I had brought with me, but had no interest in all of the food magazines I would normally love. We were still waiting on my blood work to stop going down and the outlook of a transfusion was looking likely.

Day 4 came, and there was a dispute between my doctor and the on-call GYN on whether or not to give me a transfusion. The on-call GYN just so happened to be who saw me in the ER right after the wedding, so he knew I had had a slight reaction to that transfusion. My doctor knew this as well, but there was some confusion amongst the nurses depending on which doctor talked to who. After that was straightened out, the process to get the transfusion got underway. It takes HOURS to get that going, so by that afternoon, I had the crazy experience of getting Benedryl via IV which SUCKED! The Benedryl was a precaution in case there was a reaction to the transfusion, but mostly they were going to slow down the flow to really, really, slow. I then I got a new IV for the transfusion (my other one's were too old), and then the blood started flowing.
There was a nurse shift change before my 2nd unit started, and my normal evening nurse was now training a brand new graduate. Newbie got to give me her first transfusion, and got to take out my staples. She had lots of firsts and she did such a good job, except she was afraid to hurt me with the staples and would jump when I jumped or made a noise.
That night my young roommate was discharged, and within 45 minutes, I had a new roommate. This time an 83 year old woman who fell and broke her wrists, AND she was hard of hearing.
This was the longest night of all of the nights in the hospital. Thankfully I didn't have a fever this night, and I was asking for the pain meds much more regularly, but I wasn't sleeping because my roommate was having such a hard time with things. Our night nurse had a VERY heavy accent and was rather curt and even a little cranky from midnight to about 5am, and then she was a doll until her shift was over at 8am. But you take her accent, and her shortness, plus an old lady that just got out of surgery and can't hear well, and you get loads of confusion. I ended up calling the nurses when she needed something, communicating with them about what she was asking for, and would try to calm her and explain to her what the nurses were asking of her. She kept crying as she was used to taking care of her husband, not having people take care of her and she felt very helpless and scared. Her pain meds made her nauseous, and no one figured that out until her husband came the next morning. It was kinda a big mess, but thankfully was straightened out the next morning. Funny how she could completely understand her soft spoken husband.
Each day Eric would come to the hospital to walk me around as much as I could. He found that there were little courtyards on our floor so I could get outside and breath some fresh air. The nurses let him stay as long as he wanted to, and even offered to get him one of those chairs that turn into a bed. On that last night, they asked if he was going to stay the night! We had no idea they would even allow that! Good thing because he just might have, but really he needed to get home to get some sleep for himself. One really doesn't get that much rest in the hospital.

Day 5 I was discharged in the AM as the blood work that was being done every 6 freakin' hours taken by those really cute phlebotomist guys, was finally going UP! Eric came as quickly as he could to pick me up and take me home. That car ride was a trip though (ohhh... drugs!), and I felt every little bump, but man it felt good to be going HOME, no matter how much pain I was still in. (at least the pain was less then a few days earlier!)

Day of the Surgery

As you all know I was hungry! I wasn't due at admitting until 11:30am, and I hadn't eaten since the night before, and hadn't had anything to drink since 6am. I was pretty restless, and was antsy to get things rolling.
In order to stay away from the temptation of food, I stayed upstairs while Eric ate lunch. Magically we both lost track of time, and it was soon 11:15 and we tore out of the house. As we pulled up to the hospital I realized that I didn't have on a blood transfusion cross match bracelet I was not supposed to take off all weekend (but I had realized that the nurse put it on too loose and I was able to slip it off, shhhh!), so we had to run back home to get it.
Although I was a little late to admitting, my surgery wasn't scheduled for another 2 hours, so I still had plenty of time to sit in pre-op, getting my IV and hanging out with Eric in a lovely gown, hairnet and fuzzy hospital socks. A few more hours went by, and I saw people leave and come back to pre-op (it was also the post-op room), and I was there for the nurse's shift change and the new nurses were concerned why I was still there. Apparently the previous procedure went over, or started late, so my doctor was running behind.
Around 4pm I was meeting almost my entire surgical staff. My doctor, her surgical assistant, the surgical resident who was assisting and the anesthesiologist, all came to pre-op to meet with me and to each stay and chat for a few moments. It was so comforting and didn't feel sterile at all! (well clean yes, but not stuffy and scary).
Then it was time to be wheeled behind the doors Eric couldn't go beyond, and he kissed me one last time before I got to see my surgical staff. I just have to gush a little bit more about how friendly and great they all were. We were all laughing and talking about what was happening in such a way that took away the scariness of it all. As my doctor came in, the anesthesiologist gave me a light sedative and began stroking my forehead, while the team discussed the procedure. And with a few calming pets I was out!
The next thing I remembered was my doctor's voice telling me they had taken out 2 fibroids, one the size of a small orange, and the other the size of a baby's head (why they keep using that as a size reference I don't know). I asked if I still had my uterus, and she said yes. I said the catheter hurt more then the incision, so they gave me more drugs in my IV and ADJUSTED the catheter. OUCH! still hurt, more adjusting, more drugs, still hurt. They told me to hang with it for a while and maybe I'd get used to it. And then I was out again.
From talking to Eric and my parents, they were cool and calm for the first 2 hours of the surgery, because that is how long my doctor estimated. And then for the next hour and 15 minutes (apparently Eric was counting), they were a tad on edge. The doctor finally came out to them, showed them pictures of the fibroids (I had asked her to take pictures per Eric's request), and then she brought Eric back to wherever I was.
I vaguely remember talking to Eric a few minutes later, and telling him that they found 2 more fibroids, but I think I was confused because it was only 2. Apparently my parents were there as they wheeled me to my room and I talked to them, so they tell me. The next thing I knew I was in the room I'd be in for the next night, being told to push this button every 10 minutes for my pain meds. I don't remember much that night, but I remember it being really dark, and that I was pushing that button more then every 10 minutes and it was so frustrating when it wouldn't give me more drugs to take away the pain.

That night was full of dozing and fuzzy memories. I think I ate that night too, as I remember it wasn't very tasty. Oh and flowers were delivered from Eric's Cousin. The nurse said they arrived before I went into surgery, and she had been happily enjoying them.

So that was the day of surgery. Don't worry, each day won't have that much detail. I just wanted to try to get down as much as I sorta remember. Drugs do funny things to the memory.

I'm Home!

Hellooooooo!
Thank you all for all of your well wishes you've left me over the last week. I was able to check my email with my cell phone from the hospital and each time I heard from my blogging community, it made me smile!

I've been home for a few days now, and am finally feeling up to turning on the laptop. I didn't have the energy to chronicle my experience while in the hospital, but would like to attempt to do that over the next few days, so bare with me. I may get into too much detail, but what is a blog without the details, and what's MY blog without WAY too many details?

For now I will leave you with this bit of info.... The phlebotomists that work the graveyard shift at the hospital I was at are HOT and they all hit their mark on the first stick every time, painlessly. They also use very corny pick-up lines like, "Didn't I draw from you last night?", and "Oh no, I'm sure I did, I'd remember a vein like yours".
6am blood draws are always a little easier from cute, young men in lab coats.

Waiting...

Ok party people... I am so hungry.

Labs are done, my forms are filled out, my list of medication and supplements is complete, and Eric has his list of people to call/email.

The last load of laundry is in the dryer, my list of stuff to pack is sitting at the ready, and I have one more anti-microbial shower to take (scrub down with a special soap).

The dresser/closet project didn't get touched and I'm totally fine with that. Perhaps it's a project I can do while sitting on the floor in a week or so.

I bought a stack of books and magazines last night, the iPods are full of podcasts and music (yes I have 2, gifts from the current and previous employer, but since I don't have an AC charger, I need to take both, and Eric will take one home each night to charge), and Eric will bring me my laptop and a stack of DVD's tomorrow if I feel up for it.

I still have a few hours before I'm due at admitting so I'm trying to keep busy because damn.... I'm hungry!

Pre-Op for the House

In preparation for next week, I have been getting the house ready as well. Why on earth would I be worrying about the house at a time like this?
Well, I am the daughter of 2 packrats, and therefore I have packrat tendencies which drive me batty. I am also a neat freak, and I'm also a procrastinator. So what we end up with, are some rooms which I obsessantly make sure are clean (the bathrooms and kitchen), some rooms I'm overwhelmed by their clutter so I pretend I don't see it all especially when its not my crap (the home office), and some rooms where I have particular areas of the room that must be spotless where other areas are piled high with stuff (living room & bedroom).

So since I will be stuck at home for a few weeks, and I foresee times when I'd be staring at clutter which I may not be able to physically deal with and therefore it would upset me far beyond reason, I am deciding to go through that clutter now. Procrastination over.

Plus, I'm going to treat myself to hiring a cleaning service to come in to clean things like the kitchen floors and the bathrooms, so I really want to have that clutter under control.

So last weekend I went through all of my little spots where I stuff, pile, and throw stuff in the living room. I ended up with 2 trash bags and a small stack of papers (mainly wedding related). It took me all of an hour to go through probably 3 years worth of crap that I've just been making evil eyes at as it grew and grew.

And this weekend, I shall tackle my closet and dresser. Oh sure, most people put clothes INTO the dresser and hang clothes UP in the closet. But since the dresser is full of clothes that really don't fit anymore there isn't any room for the items I have since bought that do currently fit, and the closet somehow got overrun by stuff that just got thrown on the floor so I can't get INTO it anymore. So right now when I do laundry, or bring something into the room that should go into the closet or dresser, it either gets piled on top of the dresser or on top of the pile of stuff in the closet. (And yes, my wedding dress and Eric's suit is somewhere in the piles.)

This weekend will be full of being honest with myself. Honest about those jeans that I put aside because they don't fit but just MIGHT someday. Honest that the stash of button ups will likely never be worn again because really they too don't fit and the land of button ups, pencil skirts and suits is just not me anymore. And then there is my collection of chef coats... which may just go into storage because I love them and am not quite ready to give up that dream, plus they have my name on them so who at Goodwill will want those? But mostly they don't need to be taking up closet space anymore. And of course I also have those shirts which I have recently purchased, but because they fit and I really liked them, have worn and worn and must now admit that I should NOT be going to work in shirts with little holes in them.

Wish me luck! And wish the local Goodwills luck too!

A Call for Suggestions

Next week will begin what may be the most boring weeks I have spent for a long time. I mean, who doesn't want the opportunity to take off from work for up to 6 weeks, and to be told to not lift anything, don't drive, to lay there, to relax, to sit about like a lazy log and don't really do anything, ...oh and here are some narcotics to take on top of the not doing anything. Oh sure, sounds swell. But I'm a girl who needs to keep busy and to stay in control. Right when I can't, is when I want to take on the world. Yes, yes, some blues has been keeping me glued to the couch for a long time now, but I am so sick of it. I wanna get back out and do stuff. Go dancing, ride a bike, go backpacking, travel, oh just to get out of the stinking house (which sometimes I do think is stinky! I did mention I have cats... and a husband.)

So, since I can't conquer the world right away, I'm asking you, my blogging buddies, to share with me your wisdom, your experiences, and your knowledge of the world of books, movies, easy crafty things, and nice to your body activities.

I am making a list of books for the library. I'm bulking up our Netflix queue and bumping up the account to have more movies at a time. I am looking for knitting patterns to use up my stash. I will want to cook and bake, but I'm not supposed to lift more then 5 pounds so any light ideas are welcome (we'll see how long I stick to that rule. A bored girl craves cream cheese frosting and will need something to spread it on!). I may even FINALLY make some changes to the design of this blog.

Any suggestions will be gratefully accepted with an open mind and heart. I have a feeling, my laptop will be my best friend over the next month or so.

Summer? This is Summer?

SERIOUSLY!
It is August in Northern California and I'm wearing a sweater!

Wrong! This is so wrong!

In The Weeds

This past weekend, I Sat down to watch a movie I thought looked amusing when the trailers came out years ago, In The Weeds. It's about some 20-30 something year olds who work in a NY restaurant. All of the characters are pretty much stereotypes of NYC restaurant workers, Angry "I'm Perfect" Chef, aspiring Actors/Directors/Playwrites as waiters, Model Hostess, Non-committal Bartender, holier than thou owner and the stuck in a rut waitress/manager types. Since I tend to enjoy movies about food and the food business, I figured this would be right up my alley. Plus Molly Ringwald was in it, and that girl that plays Grey on Grey's Anatomy.

I threw in the DVD, with Eric at my side thinking this would be a fun little Sunday afternoon flick. Within 5 mintues Eric got up with no intention of coming back. I kept watching because it had to get better. But it just kept droning on... and I kept watching it drone on. The acting sucked, or the editing of the acting sucked, or maybe just that the whole thing sucked. But I kept on watching because it HAD to get better.

The movie being titled In The Weeds, you'd think that at least they would be able to portray what it was like to be in the weeds (basically means you are behind and things are getting out of hand). But no, these kids were going on smoke breaks, and only seemed to have a few tables if that. They were chatting, and doing unmentionable acts in the walk-in freezer and other various locations, they were eating (which is normal), and drinking (also normal), and carrying on with private conversations while on the floor, loudly. I at least figured they would be able to show a tiny bit of the craziness that a dinner service can include. The only familiar bit was when the pastry chef got behind and everyone was hounding her about their desserts.

I actually watched the whole thing with my finger hovering over the fast forward button, much like I do with the Tivo remote when I'm trying to watch something but I want it to take as little time as possible. But I just had to finish it. It HAD to get better.... it didn't.

I Love Egg!

In yesterday's post on Hard Boiled Eggs, my friend Dennis left a comment with a link to a very happy song about the love of EGG (not Eggs, just EGG). It appears to be a Korean little ditty, but I had to share it, as it totally brought a smile to my face. Apparently they have some annimated cartoons and they sell little egg character items that are collected. I really had to resist the urge to play it outloud in my office.

Go, listen, enjoy.
I Love Egg - Egg Song

FINISHED!

Yes, I'm a very slow reader, but I finally finished HP7 early this morning. Eric's alarm went off at 5am... and then 5:09am.... and after convincing him that really that was his alarm, I turned it off and got up myself. I only had a few more chapters to read after falling asleep on the book a few nights in a row, so I picked it up and finished it off this morning (showered, did 2 loads of laundry, and still got to work before anyone else on my team!)

I had already practically sobbed the night before and was amazed I didn't wake up Eric, and then again this morning brought more tears. I'll miss those kids, but somewhere in me I'm kinda glad its over.

Hard Boiled

Did you grow up eating hard boiled eggs? Or Egg Salad sandwiches?

I ate plenty of eggs as a kid. Sometimes I'd get a hard boiled egg in my lunch, and always after Easter, we'd have egg salad on toasted bread. Did you ever read the Francis books as a kid? Do you remember in Bread and Jam for Francis, she would get a hard boiled egg and a little salt shaker in her lunch? That is probably the main reason my mom got away with putting them in my lunch along with a little baggy of salt to dip the egg in. But I hardly eat them anymore.

On Monday, J was telling me about her and Maya making Egg Salad Sandwiches for lunch and then of course I just had to have one. So off to the kitchen I went to boil up some eggs.

I rarely boil eggs anymore, so sometimes I forget the exact timing of a hard boiled egg, so I still refer to my notes.
Oh sure, you're probably all totally questioning my cooking skills now. A hard boiled egg? Really? Didn't you go to Culinary School?
If you'd believe it, a hard boiled egg is one of the first things we learned in school, and then as part of our Senior Practical we had to cook the perfect boiled quail and chicken eggs. And yes.... some people failed and had to do it over, some multiple times. Myself included. The technique I now follow is not one our teachers taught us, I got this tip from one of my fellow students, which many of you probably already know, but it was a test saver for me... especially since you don't have to really watch the time so much.

The perfect hard boiled egg has a tender but solid white, a centered fully cooked yolk, and NO GREEN SULFUR RING on the yolk. The trick is to slowly and gently cook the egg, and then stop the cooking as fast as you can. To help keep the yolk centered, before putting them in the water, prick a hole in the fat end of the egg to release the air bubble.
Another tip... fresh eggs don't peel well. Use the oldest eggs you have (that aren't bad obviously).

This is how I boil an egg:

• Prick the eggs in the fat end with a thumbtack and put in a pot of cool water, with enough water to cover the eggs by 1 inch.
• Place on High Heat until the water comes to a gentle boil.
• Cover and turn off the heat.
• Let the eggs sit in the hot water for 12ish minutes (in school this was perfect because there was no watching the pot while you worked on other items for your dishes. I've heard of people letting them sit up to 20 minutes with no issues, others swear by 10 minutes exactly)
• Put the pot in the sink and run cold water, to displace the hot water.
• Add Ice to quickly chill the eggs thoroughly.

Voila! A Perfectly hard-boiled egg with NO GREEN GOO!

I know this isn't how my mom taught me, but that's how I do it. How do you boil an egg?


Photo Info: I didn't think to take a picture of the eggs I made, even though I was quite proud of them. It was VERY hard to find a photo of a hard boiled egg without the green film around the yolk, and I know this is how they were when I grew up, so I think most people accept it as part of the end product. I found this photo on slashfood.com, from a post they did on the perfect hard boiled egg, and they used pretty much the same method.

Effing

Color me surprised. As I'm getting a little further into HP7, I've noticed that my beloved Ron, Hermione and Harry are SWEARING! Well, not really swearing, but a watered down version by saying, "Effing" blah blah blah.

I was mostly taken back that I had probably already passed a number of instances of this when I realized it. How sad is it that I didn't even notice that they were swearing? A kids book, and they are swearing! Of course they are supposed to be 17 years old at this point, and most 17 year olds swear a little, eh?

Did any of you catch it?
Do you consider it swearing when THE word isn't used?
Would you mind if your kid read that?
And yes, I realize there is death and murder going on around the non-swearing, but for some reason the non-swearing is bugging me more as I don't think it was really needed for the story. Prude? possibly.

Not how I want to wake up on Monday morning

Have you ever had one of those dreams where even though you KNOW it's a dream, the emotions from the dream totally carry over into your morning?

Right before I woke up this morning, I had a dream that I had forgotten my passport at home when I was going on a trip to England. My mother had just dropped me off at the airport, and I didn't realize my mistake until she had already left. Quickly getting on my cell phone, I started calling my mom and my husband to see if they could bail me out and get me my passport in time for me to catch the next flight, which I had already switched to (for only $36! My dreams are always incredibly detailed). No one was answering their phones and I was stuck. My own mistake but I was fulling blaming it on my loved ones for not being there when I needed them.

I woke up this morning very irritated with myself, my mother and my husband. All for actions that happened IN A DREAM! I needed a few minutes to calm down before I could greet my husband on this very lovely Monday morning.

What flavor are you?

Since Ice Cream is often on my mind and this weekend is gonna be another warm one, I thought this quiz was a pretty appropriate way to start the weekend.

You Are A Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Girl

Creative. Expressive. Unique.

What Flavor Ice Cream Girl Are You?

Last year Mint Chip was my flavor of choice. Couldn't get enough of it, but mostly in milk shakes. This year? I've been sticking with my old time favorites of Butter Pecan, Pralines N'Cream, and recently I've been throwing in the novelty, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. If it's gelato we're talkin' then I'm all over the Hazelnut. But going out for ice cream lately seems such a chore when there has been chilled Watermelon in the fridge. Mmmmmm....

On a separate note, nothing super grand composition wise, but I've caught up on my quest to keep my Flickr account up to date. I got a few months behind, but I think we're pretty much caught up now. I threw in a few 'borrowed' shots of the wedding from family and friends, since you know... I was busy. Feel free to check it!


Have a loverly weekend all!

Cucumber Salad

Thankful to finally have a kitchen back after getting all of the wedding business out of it, I want to COOK!

Since it has been hot, I've been wanting to grill, so I cheated and bought some pre-marinated Bulgogi (Korean BBQ Beef) from Trader Joes. It isn't exactly correct per what I've had at Korean restaurants but it's still tasty and very tender. To accompany the grilled meat, I of course had some Kim Chee on hand and added my own take on a Korean Cucumber Salad.

It was spicy, crisp, sweet and cool, and went perfect with the heat and sweetness of the grilled beef.

Korean 'inspired' Cucumber Salad
yields about 6 cups

1/2 cup rice vinegar
3 tablespoons Chili Paste (Sambal Oelek) - adjust for the desired heat level
1 tablespoon soy sauce
drizzle of toasted sesame oil
2 tablespoons black and white sesame seeds - toasted
1 English Cucumber - washed, peel on, julienned on the bias
2 Green Onions, thinly sliced on the bias
1 Carrot, julienned
1/2 small Diakon Radish, julienned

1. Mix together the vinegar, chili paste, soy sauce, sesame oil and sesame seeds.
2. Mix in remaining ingredients.
3. Cover and refrigerate at least 10 minutes. Best if left to marinade a few hours.
4. Toss occasionally while marinating and again right before service.
   

This recipe made about 6 cups, which would normally be plenty for 4 people as a side, but Eric and I polished it all off in one sitting (of course).

Wordless Wednesday - THE CUT

Making some changes

I'm considering changing things up a little around here. Taking comfort, emotions and effort into consideration, my closet and appearance may be taking a turn soon.

For the past 6 months or so, I have been restricted to how I cut and color my hair, based on how I wanted to wear it for the wedding. My hairstylist worked with the woman doing my wedding day hair so there was no bang trimming or fun coloring to be done leading up to the wedding.

But today... today I get to do whatever I want (cut wise). Go short? Layers? Bangs? Or go for my basic slight trim and let it hang there look. It's finally to a length that I think is fun, young and kinda sexy, but do I hear the words of Stacey and Clinton in my ears? "Age Appropriate" Is it flattering? Appearances do matter. "Dress not for the job you have, but the job you want". Shouldn't I be taking some time on my appearance every morning, or should I continue with my run out the door with wet hair look.

Since the wedding I have been taking a few moments each day to apply a bit of make-up, since I really liked the look my make-up artist gave me (and I now own some of the make-up). Not much, but just a touch to feel a little more girly. Since I don't really dress very girly, I thought a little something would be nice. The guys I work with have finally gotten used to it and no longer ask, "Are you wearing make-up?" So I know change will be noticed, but it won't be made to be too big of a deal after a week or so.

I'm also considering changing up my daily uniform of the jeans, t-shirt and flip-flops too, since the jeans don't really fit anymore with my temporary bump, and I've just been feeling sort of dumpy since I have to wear larger sizes. Moving to maternity pants is depressing, but the saggy jeans are equally upsetting. So, I'm thinking of moving to skirts. It will be shocking I know, but I can still get away with the t-shirts and flip flops. Baby steps!

So what about you out there. Have you ever made that conscience effort to make a change in your appearance? Did it stick? Was it noticed?

Staying awake

As I mentioned earlier, I'm sleepy. I'm REALLY sleepy. I'm sleepy enough that I am considering having some coffee, and I RARELY drink coffee and certainly not caffeinated. Except I've had a tummy ache since this morning, so coffee would be bad. So I am considering soda or a red bull, but again with the tummy pain. Luckily it's not "Tummy Action" as one of my co-workers calls gas and indigestion, it's just a general tummy ache.

Other then banging my head on the desk, or taking a walk (didn't work), does anyone have any tips to staying awake which will be gentle on my tummy?
Something which will preferable get me through a 4pm presentation/meeting and the drive home, and does not involve actually taking a nap.

Thanks!

Weekend Wrap-up

I'm sleepy.
I need another day off this week so I can sleep in. Luckily I have a pretty flexible work schedule, so I was able to come into the office around 10am. But man I am beat!

I had a most lovely weekend though. Nothing too exciting, but Eric and I finally got to see a full movie, actually 2, at the drive-in. I don't know if this is standard, but our drive-in shows double-features, so we went to see Harry Potter and Ratatouille. Sadly I slept through the middle of Ratatouille but I think this is to be expected when you are sitting in your car, in a reclined position especially when the movie began at 11:30pm. I'll watch it again when it comes out on DVD I'm sure. After all it is a movie about food and cooking!

I also finally did some cooking of my own this weekend. Our kitchen has been a little messy since the wedding... ok, since before the wedding, but everything in there has some tie to the wedding, mainly gifts I can't seem to find a home for. I have a very hard time having the desire to cook when the kitchen isn't spotless. I've been wanting to, but have had less of a desire to clean then I have to cook. But this weekend I bit the bullet and dove in. On Saturday I made a lovely lunch of grilled Korean Beef (Bulgogi) and a cucumber salad (recipe to follow later), and on Sunday I taught Eric how to make Fresh Spring Rolls. He had a blast, and was amazed at how easy it was.

While we were out running errands on Sunday, we had to buy a new water glass and bowl for the cats. Cosmo has a case of kitty acne where his bottom lip swells up really big and he basically gets a huge zit, and has now been given the nickname of 'zitty kitty'. One of the possible causes of kitty acne is when they drink/eat out of plastic bowls. Since we are weak and have given in to the cuteness of the cats drinking out of a "people glass" we have given them a designated glass on the bathroom counter, as well as a normal kitty bowl downstairs. They had an old Tupperware tumbler upstairs, but now they have a fancy blue glass from Tuscany, and a large soufflé ramekin on the floor. Lucky fancy kitties!

By Sunday night I still hadn't cracked the spine of the final HP book, so finally, at 10:30pm Eric had rolled over to go to sleep so I got to lean back to finally enjoy the last book. Around 11pm I woke up with the book on my face at page 8. I think this is going to be a slow read for me. Can't wait until next weekend so maybe I can get to page 10!

Status: IN TRANSIT TO FINAL DESTINATION

Ok. Ok. Maybe I'm getting excited now.

I thought about staying up and in line at a bookstore last night, but then I'd have two! So now I must sit at home and wait. I think I might leave a note on the door for the UPS man as I can't just sit around ALL day. He better just leave it!

The worst part is that I live about 2 blocks away from the UPS depot, and I know those trucks filled with books that must be delivered today, have already left (they usually all hit the highway around 8-9am). So now I must wonder, will my book be at the top or the bottom of the stack.

Perhaps some floor scrubbing will distract me...


**Update: It is now 4pm, the bathroom floors are scrubbed, laundry is done, and the book is here. I'll catch ya in a few days!

Open Weekend

How odd.
I seem to be at a loss for words.
No whining, or complaining, or worry.
No witty stories, or anything to report on.

Just looking forward to a weekend with no firm plans.
Maybe a hike.
Maybe a movie.
Maybe some reading.
Maybe some baking or ice cream making.
Maybe even some house cleaning. Ah yes, some cleaning would be good. Ohhh, even some down on your knees, scrubbing the floor corners of the bathroom might even feel rewarding and therapeutic. We also have some wedding gifts that haven't quite found a home yet, so maybe if we get them put away, we might find the kitchen table and might even EAT at it!

Darn it. I liked it better when the weekend had no plans.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! At least here, it looks like it's going to be a beautiful one!

Pre-op

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and I think it went pretty well. I got to ask the questions I needed to ask, we both gained even more confidence in my doctor and her abilities, and were able to leave the appointment actually looking forward to the surgery date and getting to the healing part. She explained the hows and the whys and what to expect all along the way. She was real, and honest, at the same time compassionate to our worries and desire for future fertility.

Can I tell you how oddly "normal" it is becoming to be in such a compromising position? No longer do they need to say "Skoot. Skoot. Just a little further..." and I think Eric is even getting used to seeing me in "that" position and having a doctor's head "down there". He even handled hearing about the details of the procedure, where he would have likely passed out a month ago.

I also talked to her about how uncomfortable I have been and she said there isn't really anything I can do about it. I haven't been able to sleep through the night, my pants don't fit (maternity pants are an option but totally depress me since... I'm not pregnant), I have to pee ALL the time, the constipation, the heartburn, OH the HEARTBURN! I don't know if this is like some of the physical aspects of a pregnancy without the morning sickness, but it kinda sucks. I'm not looking forward to the pain of recovery, but I am totally looking forward to how I'll feel afterwards. The surgery date has moved around a bit, and this final date is about a month away, and I can't wait!

The most difficult thing was actually hearing her say I will never experience labor. Sure hearing the risks of infection, blood transfusions and hysterectomy were there too, but I had already fully known those. Due to the surgery compromising my uterus, if I were to get pregnant and make it to the 3rd trimester, they will schedule a premature c-section. How premature would depend on how everything is going. Multiple doctors had talked to me about having an early c-section because of the fibroids even without the myomectomy, so I KNEW about it, but no one ever said, "You will never go through labor".

So why did hearing it, in those words, finally get through to me?

I'm not really upset, more disappointed and am coming to terms with it the more I think about it. Better to know now then to have it be a surprise and an emergency, eh?
I've described how I feel in a bazaar way:
It's kinda like my desire to go to Las Vegas. I've never been, and even though I don't gamble, I hate the smoke, I don't really want to pay the prices, I still want to go... to experience it.

Plenty of women have c-sections, and after having one they often deliver all future babies the same way. Do they feel like they've missed out on some amazing part of being a woman and a mother?